She swallowed hard, a wealth of emotions swirling in her eyes. “I never forgot, Collin. Ever,” she said, the honesty in her voice matched by the guileless candor etching her features. “You owned me. All of me.”
Owned. The past-tense usage of the word wasn’t lost on Collin, and it felt like a knife twisting in his heart. He maneuvered them both so they were sitting on the couch side by side, instead of him half lying on top of her, and scrubbed his fingers through his hair, gathering his composure before glancing back at Raevynn again, who suddenly looked as weary as he felt.
“Nothing is happening between us tonight,” he reiterated, and stood up, extending his hand toward her, which she accepted so he could help her to her feet, too. “It’s after one in the morning. You’ve been through a lot in a short period of time. We both need to sleep, and I don’t want you to do anything on a whim that you’ll regret later because your defenses were down and you slept with me for all the wrong reasons or because it was convenient.”
Her brows furrowed, and for a moment, she looked as though she wanted to argue or refute his statement, but instead she merely nodded. “Fair enough.”
He walked her down the hallway to the guest bedroom, turning off all the lights in the house on the way until they reached her door. Gently, he framed her face in his hands and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.
“Night, Rae,” he murmured, letting her go for now and bracing himself against the too tempting desire still lingering in her eyes. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Then he disappeared into his room across the hall before he could change his mind and invite her into his bed.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Raevynn gradually woke the following morning with a long, slow, leisurely stretch of her body that felt oh so good, when she was so used to an alarm blaring that pr
ompted her to jump out of bed and be immediately on the go. Being lazy and sleeping in until after ten in the morning—according to the digital clock on the dresser—was absolute bliss. It also wasn’t a luxury her mother allowed her to indulge in, not when her daily calendar was jam-packed full of appointments that started at the crack of dawn.
But not here, sequestered away in the Donovans’ beach house, she mused with a grateful smile. No, there wasn’t anything imperative on her schedule for the next few days, except rest, relaxation, and figuring out some difficult decisions she knew she needed to make and execute in regards to her career—before she made any more commitments to anyone, including booking the dates and venues for her next tour.
The thought of spending another six to eight months traveling throughout the States and abroad and living out of hotels or her tour bus put knots of dread in her stomach. That had been her bustling life the past four years since she’d gone from being an opening act to headlining her own shows, and while Raevynn had initially enjoyed singing and performing for her amazing and supportive fans, it was becoming a grind that was starting to wear on her, emotionally, mentally, and physically. And along with that was a not-so-healthy amount of resentment toward her mother for Joyce’s constant pressure to add more dates and cities to her next world tour. To be bigger and better than the last production.
Raevynn hadn’t endorsed any contracts yet, which was her only saving grace, but the paperwork was waiting for her signature and had been for a few weeks now. And her mother, booking agent, and tour manager were anticipating her acceptance of all the terms and conditions without any pushback. And as she already knew from past experience, before the ink even had time to dry on the contract, a frenzy of tumultuous activity would ensue once again, with her production team building the next tour strategy and campaign, and elaborate stage displays and choreography being created for new songs and shows—with Raevynn in the middle of it all for at least the next year.
She exhaled a deep, deliberately calming breath and purposely shoved those stressful, anxious thoughts from her mind, determined not to allow those worries and decisions to interfere with her time with Collin. Yes, she’d eventually have to address the situation, but right now, and for the next few days at least, she just wanted to enjoy her life as Raevynn Walsh the woman and not the pop star.
With it now nearing ten thirty, she got out of bed and headed into the small adjoining bathroom. While she brushed her teeth, she mulled over her conversation with Collin last night—her body immediately heating in intimate places when she recalled the dirty, sexy fantasies he’d verbally shared with her. They’d been merely teenagers the first and only time they’d had sex, and now as an adult, Raevynn realized just how much she’d missed out on. Oral pleasure. Different erotic positions. Exploring desires and indulging in lust-fueled passion.
Seven years later, their attraction only burned hotter between them. The physical chemistry was undeniable, but so was the emotional bond, at least for her. Her heart had never stopped wanting Collin Donovan. Never stopped loving him. But despite how easily they’d fallen back in sync as if they’d never been apart, she really wanted to take this unforeseen opportunity she’d been handed to see if there was still something between them, beyond the desire, that was worth a second chance. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on her part. Either way, she wanted to figure it out.
Finished cleaning her teeth, she unraveled her hair, brushed it out, then neatly re-braided it to tuck in the wisps that had escaped during sleep. Raevynn knew how she felt, but she couldn’t account for Collin’s feelings. And truth be told, they were now different people who lived polar opposite lives. She spent a lot of her nights sleeping in gilded hotel rooms and occasionally had a respite in her LA home, and Collin’s life was stable and secure and permanently in New York. She had no idea if their goals and dreams for the future even aligned anymore, because she’d put a wrench in all that when her mother whisked her away to compete on Encore, forcing Raevynn to give up her dreams of marrying Collin and having his babies.
For all she knew, those things never crossed Collin’s mind as they did hers. And the possibility existed that he’d never want to be a part of this world she now inhabited, because even if Raevynn scaled back on the concerts and touring, in her heart she knew she’d never completely turn her back on being a musical artist. She still wanted to continue writing lyrics and recording music, and most likely as a songwriter, her time would be split between Los Angeles and Nashville.
At this point, all she could attest to was that her desire for him hadn’t abated one ounce, and clearly his hadn’t, either. She didn’t need to think long and hard about that, as Collin had suggested she do last night while warning her of all the indecent things he’d envisioned doing to her.
Her pulse quickened as she recalled his descriptive fantasies, and Raevynn decided she didn’t want to overanalyze the situation. Or what was or wasn’t still there between them. No, her body craved to experience every one of those deliciously decadent things he’d mentioned, even if it meant seducing him into doing so.
Fate had graciously given her a handful of days alone with Collin when she’d honestly believed she’d never see him again, and she refused to waste even a minute of their time together second-guessing everything. She was going to enjoy herself, and him, and while she couldn’t predict how it would end between them, she vowed that when they parted ways this time, there would at least be no regrets for either of them.
When Collin heard Raevynn moving around in the guest bedroom, he started cooking breakfast for the two of them, or rather brunch since it was nearly eleven and closer to lunchtime. He placed strips of bacon on a frying pan for some protein and brought down the ingredients for pancakes he’d seen in the cupboards that his sister must have left during her last visit to the beach house with the kids.
Just as he’d finished crisping the bacon and put it on a plate to the side of the stove, Raevynn appeared in the kitchen. He heard the flip-flop of her sandals and turned his head and smiled at her, taking in the cute, flirty knee-length yellow dress she’d bought at Walmart last night and was now wearing. She wore minimal makeup, just enough to enhance her lashes and gloss her full lips, but that’s all she needed. The rest was all-natural beauty. Her braid was neat and tidy and fell nearly all the way down her back, and a part of him wished she’d worn it loose, though he understood why she kept the strands restrained.
It took every bit of his control not to take her in his arms and kiss her like she belonged to him. Like he had every right to start the day with his lips on hers—that’s how comfortable he already was around her.
“Good morning,” he said instead, setting the frying pan with the grease on a back burner to cool. “How did you sleep?”
“It’s almost eleven a.m.,” she replied with a light laugh as she headed for the coffeemaker and the mug he’d left out for her. “What do you think?”
Her tone was playful, and he was grateful that there wasn’t any awkwardness between them after how he’d ended things last night when they easily could have ended up in his bed. But Collin was confident he’d made the right decision, and today, he was just going to go with the flow of things and see where it took them.
“I’m going to assume you slept like a baby?”
“Oh, my God, yes. It was glorious sleeping in.” She poured her coffee and stirred in about an inch of the French vanilla creamer he’d bought, then took a sip, her gaze taking in his T-shirt and casual shorts over the rim. “I can’t remember the last time I woke up feeling so refreshed and rested. I could get used to this.”
“You deserve to have this kind of downtime to yourself.” He pulled a clean pan from a cupboard and set it on the stove for the next phase of their meal. “To do something you enjoy and recharge your batteries. Everyone does.”