Virgin Husband (Virgin Marriage 1)

I think being controlled your whole life makes you used to that kind of treatment. Freedom can be scary if all you’ve ever known are walls. I think in time she’ll figure it out, but if I know one thing about her it’s that she can’t be pushed.

I drive through the neighborhood and then it’s just a quick drive to downtown. When I get there I park my car in our building and then take the elevator up to my office. It’s always nice and quiet this early in the morning and I like the silence and calm at this time.

Living with someone has taken some getting used to. I didn’t have roommates before Savannah, and I realized that I liked being by myself way too much. It’s probably good for me that we live together now, because otherwise I might go crazy from the solitude.

When I sit down at my desk I open the drawer, then take off my wedding band and put it inside. It’s not that I have to wear it, but Savannah wears hers at home and I feel like it’s a point of solidarity for us. And we never know when our parents might pop in. Since my dad retired he hasn’t set one foot inside this place so I don’t have a fear of him coming in my office. My assistant is an older lady who worked for my father and I told her I thought it might be too tight. The truth is, I feel like this ring carries a lot of weight with it and I don’t take its meaning lightly. I’ve done all this for Savannah so that she can have the life she wants, but until she’s ready to step out and take it on her own I have to try and navigate this the best I can. And that includes not wearing the ring while I’m at work.

The sun is barely up and I look out the window to the park nearby. In a few hours it will be filled with dogs and people playing with their animals on this beautiful day. I envy their ability to lose themselves and just play. I can’t remember the last time I did something because I enjoyed it, and not because I was obligated to do it.

This isn’t the life I had pictured when I was in college and thinking of my future, but it’s not bad. I have so much more than I ever dreamed of and I have opportunities most people never get. I just wish I could find that one thing that makes me light up inside. The kind of thing that gives me passion and makes me want to be a better man.

It’s out there; I just have to find it.

3

Caroline

“Are you ready for your snack?” I ask Elvis as I lean down and pet his silky head.

He’s happy that no more rain has come and the sun is shining. I dropped off my first round of dogs and I have some time to kill before I need to start my next round. Elvis starts leading me towards his favorite food truck. I wonder if he remembers or if it’s his bloodhound nose that leads the way.

One thing’s for sure: walking dogs has helped me learn my way around the city. I grew up in Seattle and don’t know my way around it like I do Chicago. It’s a reminder of how much I stayed inside the life my parents wanted for me. Or what they expected of me, I guess.

If there is one thing Elvis knows, it’s the way to the food truck. He found it rather quickly after we moved here and he dragged me from the park to the truck, clearly on a mission. Lucky for me they have some of the best burgers I’ve ever eaten. I didn’t know food off a truck could be so good until I moved here. Now it’s an addiction I can’t quit. We really eat here more than we should.

Elvis waits in the long line with me as I pull out my phone. When I feel it vibrate I see a text from Gia.

Gia: Is it too soon to give it up to Marco?

Me: I think you should go with the moment. Whatever happens happens. You’ll know if it’s right.

Gia can overthink things. It can be hard for her to roll with stuff and I think something like losing your virginity should feel right. Or maybe that’s my new way of trying to look at things.

It felt like these last few months have been easier now that I roll with things each day. There’s no standard I have to live up to that’s set by someone else. I do what I want, but by the guidelines I feel are right. I glance down at Elvis and think sometimes I have to do what he wants, but who can say no to a face like his?