They hit the women’s clothing area first, and for a woman who was now probably used to designer labels, she didn’t seem to be fazed by the lack of fashion choices. He followed her through the aisles, and it didn’t take her long to toss a bunch of items into the basket—black leggings, jeans, a few tops, a pair of shorts, and a couple of easy-to-wear dresses. Since it was nearing summer and they’d be within walking distance of the beach, she picked out a tiny bikini in her size—God help him—along with a cover-up and added them to the pile. Next, she found slip-on sneakers and sandals, which joined the rest of her new attire.
In the undergarment section, he watched as she selected sexy-as-fuck, barely there panties over the more standard cotton pairs, and two lacy bras—one in black and the other beige. In went a sexy little camisole and shorts pajama set that he had no doubt was going to wreak havoc with his self-control and wandering gaze. She’d always liked pretty underthings and clearly that hadn’t changed.
Toiletries were next, including bath and hair products and a few basic makeup items, then on to the food department, where Collin picked up provisions for breakfast and lunches, figuring they could order in for dinner or go out to eat at a nearby restaurant if she was feeling up to it. As they started down the next aisle, Rae gasped loudly and abruptly stopped, her eyes huge as she took in everything featured on the shelves in front of her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, having no idea what had caused her shocked expression since there wasn’t anyone around.
“Oh, my God,” she breathed as she walked up to a huge display of every kind of candy imaginable. “Look at all this chocolate!” she exclaimed as she clasped her hands in front of her like a delighted little kid, making him laugh. “And Twizzlers and Skittles and Milk Duds!”
She named off all her favorites, her voice wistful as she glanced to the other side of the aisle and the long row of cookies ahead of her. “And Double Stuf Oreos!”
She rushed to the display and picked up a package of the cookies, staring at it with such yearning before she glanced up at Collin. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had cookies or candy or junk food in general?”
Her reaction was absolutely adorable and so sentimental, yet it spoke to just how rigid and restricted her life had been, and it made something in his chest ache for her. That she worked her ass off yet couldn’t occasionally treat herself to the things she enjoyed the most. He remembered it had been that way for her growing up, and when she came over to his house, raiding his mother’s pantry for something sweet had been a rebellious little thrill for her.
“I’m guessing it’s been a while?”
She nodded, the hoodie on her head bobbing with the movement, her expression surprisingly sad and somber. “I honestly can’t remember the last time I indulged in anything that wasn’t deemed as healthy or nutritious or within my macros. It’s been years. My mother orders all our groceries and meals based on what my personal trainer puts on my weekly diet plan, and trust me when I say that the food is always bland and boring and barely tolerable.” She made a gagging gesture and he chuckled.
“Yeah, well, your mother isn’t here right now,” he pointed out, purposely appealing to that daring side to Raevynn’s personality. “So why don’t you enjoy yourself and your self-imposed vacation, including eating copious amounts of junk food if you want to?”
She bit her bottom lip, clearly contemplating the pros and cons of his suggestion, but it didn’t take her long to come to a decision and then she was quickly, happily, and gleefully adding all of her favorite snacks to their cart, including bags of Cheetos and Doritos.
He eyed the amount of processed food now in their basket and shook his head at her, though he was grinning. “You know, you probably won’t eat all this.” And if she did, she’d make herself sick.
She blinked at him oh so guilelessly. “I know, but I want to have options.” She shrugged. “Can we check out the ice cream aisle while we’re here, too?”
He laughed, and while he’d never been able to deny her anything way back when, it was clear that still held true. “Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie?” he guessed, knowing way too many of her weaknesses.
She nodded impishly and put up a finger. “Maybe just one.”
God, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her cute, smiling, happy face. Instead, he pushed the cart in the direction of their next stop.
Chapter 5
While Collin put away the groceries, Raevynn stood under the hot spray of the shower in the guest bathroom at the Donovans’ beach house, letting the water wash away not just the night’s sweat and grime from all her performing—along with her
heavy application of makeup and the two tons of product weighing down her hair—but also months’ worth of stress and mental exhaustion. Or at least as much as she could, considering the circumstances.
She knew one night away from her world would not change her life, nor even would a week’s absence from the spotlight. But this time to herself would offer her a reprieve from everyone telling her what to do and all the people pulling her in different directions until she felt she was merely a shell of her former self. A puppet for everyone else to direct and command, which she’d sadly fallen victim to, despite what she might have envisioned for her career.
Tonight with Collin, while running through Walmart like a young kid set free of all the restraints that had tied her down for so long, Raevynn had recognized just how orchestrated her actions had become the past few years. That all semblance of joy and fun had been sucked out of her, because her hectic schedule, which her mother was mostly responsible for, didn’t allow for playtime. Every day had become rote, and she’d grown hollow inside, as if an integral part of who she was, beyond the famous pop star, had gone missing.
She’d learned to put on a convincing smile for the crowds attending her concerts, for the campaigns she’d been hired to promote, for the cameras trying to capture just the right photo for an interview or article. Outwardly, she appeared to be living a charmed life, and she was incredibly grateful for the opportunities that had come her way, but the truth was, she was tired, overworked, and unhappy.
She lived in a pretty, shiny bubble with no real friends to hang out with, no place where she could just be her true self. No real relationships with people she trusted enough to open up to and not feel judged or used for their own purposes. Too many times she’d had her feelings and opinions dismissed as insignificant, and she’d found it much easier to just keep them to herself and go with the flow.
But stuffing all that resentment down deep inside was like trying to keep a cork on a shaken-up bottle of champagne. At some point, it was going to erupt in spectacular fashion, and the fallout wasn’t going to be pretty and she’d end up following in the footsteps of Brittany Spears’s, Amanda Bynes’s, and Lindsay Lohan’s public meltdowns.
Raevynn grimaced at that possibility as she rinsed the conditioner from her long, thick hair, wishing she could chop off the ass-length strands into a shorter, sassier, modern style that didn’t require so much maintenance. Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen, either, according to her mother, because then they’d lose millions in hair product endorsements.
Finished with her shower, she turned off the water and towel dried her body, then her hair, smiling at the wonderful silence that greeted her. She’d desperately needed this peace and quiet in her life and in her head right now, to think about her future clearly, without any interference from her manager mother, her agent, or all the other handlers Joyce had hired to keep Raevynn’s image and her brand squeaky clean.
And she owed Collin for giving her the opportunity. She thought about how much fun she’d had with him in Walmart, how many smiles and laughs they’d shared as they’d shopped. Despite everything that had happened between them years ago, he was still so easy to be with. With Collin, there were no pretenses or expectations of having to be someone or something she wasn’t. He didn’t treat her as a celebrity, didn’t look at her as an international superstar.
No, he still just viewed her as Rae . . . the girl who’d grown up next to his house and had been his sister’s bestie. And if she wasn’t mistaken, by the heat she’d seen in his eyes, the awareness in his touch when he’d held her hand, and the attraction that had sparked between them more than a few times tonight, she’d like to hope and believe he still felt something for her. That maybe now, he looked at her and saw the woman she’d become, because if a different and more intimate kind of opportunity presented itself, she wasn’t opposed to exploring that inviting option with him.
After braiding her hair so she didn’t have to blow it dry, which took her at least an hour, Raevynn wrapped the towel around her body and walked into the adjoining bedroom. Collin had placed all the bags of clothes and toiletries on the bed, and she rummaged through the purchases until she found the cute pajama set she’d picked out. After putting on a clean pair of panties, she donned the silky camisole and loose-fitting shorts, then made her way down the short hall to the kitchen and living room area.