Noah grinned as he kissed the tips of her fingers, amazed at her tenacity. “You are so incredibly brave, and I’m so proud of you.”
Her chin lifted stubbornly, her internal strength shining through. “I wasn’t about to let him get away with terrorizing me this time.”
“This time?” he echoed, catching her deliberate choice of words. “You remember your past with him?”
“Bits and pieces came back to me,” she said, and shuddered delicately. “Enough for me to recall that he’d had control over me in the past, that he’d been possessive and jealous to the point of being smothering.”
He wondered what else she recollected during the course of the attack. He rolled his shoulders, which did nothing to ease the tension bunching his muscles. “I’m so sorry, Natalie,” he said, his sincere apology a heartfelt plea for her forgiveness.
Her gaze met his steadily, her irises a stunning shade of blue. “What for?”
Her question was too pointed, delving deeper than the surface reasons for his apology, as if she knew much more than she was letting on. There was a wealth of confessions he owed her, but he went with the most obvious reply. “I never should have left you alone.”
“There’s nothing to forgive.” Her smile was sad as she touched her fingers to his cheek in a loving caress. “You can’t protect me forever, Noah. Chad was intent on getting to me, and it was all a matter of time. If not today, then tomorrow, or next week, or next month. And there’s no way you could have known that he’d break into the house.”
Still, guilt ate at him, along with so many regrets. He’d let her down, and in turn had let himself down, as well.
“I’m just glad everything is finally over,” she said with a sigh. “Now we can go back to living normal lives.”
She was glad everything was over? Including them? And what the hell did she mean by them going back to living normal lives—with or without each other? Doubts, uncertainties and old fears flared bright and hot within him, raising his anxiety a few notches.
She gently but firmly pulled her hand from his grasp. “By the way, you don’t have to pretend anymore,” she said quietly.
He stared at her beautiful features, his outward calm belying his inner turmoil. “What do you mean?” His voice was low and rough.
Her shoulder lifted in an attempt at a casual shrug. “About you being my fiancé, and us being engaged.”
Unable to help himself, he winced. “Has all of your memory returned?”
“Enough to remember that you and I weren’t in a relationship before the car accident,” she replied, her cheeks coloring a light shade of pink. “Not an intimate one, anyway.”
Anxious and jumpy at her revelation, he stood and paced the small area in the kitchen. Natalie wasn’t angry, just resigned and accepting of the choices he’d made on her behalf. Choices that had made her intimately his.
“I never should have touched you, or made love to you,” he said, even as he knew he never could have resisted her. He’d tried, only to fail. He’d gotten inside her body, and she’d found her way into his heart.
“I didn’t give you much choice in the matter, Noah,” she said wryly. “I wanted you, and I don’t regret a thing about our affair.”
So, she was going to chalk up their relationship as an erotic, illicit tryst. The thought made him want to haul her over his shoulder again, carry her up to his bedroom and fuck her mindless until she admitted she couldn’t live without him.
“Noah,” she said, interrupting his thoughts and making him realize that she was standing, too. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth about us?”
He released a long breath and explained. He owed her at least that. “It all started at the hospital, as a way for me to get into your room and get information from the doctor about your condition. Once I told him that you were my fiancée I gained access to your room, along with your prognosis. And from there, the fabrication snowballed. The doctor said it was best to let you remember things on your own, and then when I realized you were being stalked, it was the best way to keep you safe and in my care without you insisting you could handle things on your own…which you tried to do a few times, if I remember correctly.”
She ducked her head sheepishly, obviously remembering the way she’d argued with him about going back to work and school. The woman was stubborn and independent—traits that both frustrated and aroused him.
Closing the distance between them, he tucked a finger beneath her chin and lifted her gaze back to his. “Except I didn’t do a very good job of protecting you, did I?”
“I don’t blame you for anything, Noah.” She bit her bottom lip, her eyes shining with emotions he couldn’t define. “If anything, I owe you for taking me in when I had no one else to take care of me. I couldn’t have asked for a better bodyguard than
you’ve been to me.”
His jaw clenched with irritation. He didn’t want her damn gratitude, or have his role in her life reduced to guardian. He ached to tell her again that he loved her, but would she even believe him, or just assume it had all been part of the ruse of their intimate relationship? And what of her declaration spoken in the heat of passion last night? Were her feelings for him real, or just part of what she’d perceived to be true before she learned actual reality today?
He was terrified to find out. Terrified of having fallen in love with this woman, only to lose her.
“I think I’ve imposed long enough,” she went on pragmatically, looking away so he couldn’t gauge her expression. “And now that Chad is going to be prosecuted and behind bars, there’s no reason for me to stay here with you. As soon as the police are done questioning me, I think I should leave and go back to my own place.”
He shoved his fingers deep into the front pockets of his jeans and forced himself to ask, “Are you sure that’s what you want?” He left the beginning or the end of their relationship in her hands. One word, yes or no, would seal their fates and futures. Together, or alone.