Her words hit, slamming into him hard. Mainly because she’d latched onto the truth he, himself, hadn’t been able to face. Saying no to Richard hadn’t been an option, not when the man had done so much for him since his own father’s death, and not when he’d always given Cole his complete and utter trust in all things. Cole hadn’t wanted to shatter Richard’s faith in him, and that meant giving in to his appeal to watch over his daughter. But Cole also knew deep-down inside that even if Richard hadn’t asked him to look out for Melodie, he would have taken it upon himself to do it anyway, because it was in his nature to watch over and protect those he cared about.
And despite the way things had ended, Melodie was one of those people.
But that realization did nothing to change the situation as it currently stood—with Melodie reeling with a wealth of hurt and disillusionment and him berating himself for allowing his relationship with her to escalate beyond what either of them should have permitted.
“I’m sorry,” he said, the words inadequate for all the misery and turmoil he’d caused—for both of them.
She hugged her arms over her chest, as if to hold herself together. “So, I was an obligation for you, a duty, like everything else in your life,” she stated, her features reflecting her irritation.
His heart constricted in his chest, nearly suffocating him with remorse. Unable to sit still any longer, he stood and rounded the desk to where she stood. She took a step back, telling him without words that she didn’t want to be touched.
“You were more than an obligation, Mel,” he said, his voice rough, but undeniably truthful. “I’m at fault here, not you. I never, ever, should have touched you, not when I knew how things would eventually end.”
She laughed cynically and shook her head. “Aren’t you the honorable one.” The comment sounded more like a curse than a compliment. “I’m surprised you’re not insisting on marrying me because we had unprotected sex.”
“If you’re pregnant, you know I’ll marry you,” he replied automatically, defensively.
“Why? Because of my father? Because it’s the right thing to do and you always own up to your responsibilities?” she asked, hitting upon another unpleasant nerve. “Thanks but no thanks. If I’m pregnant, I’ll be a single mother who’ll give you every right to be a part of your child’s life. But I’m not about to marry a man who doesn’t return my love.”
Her words hit him like a sucker punch to his gut, and Cole inhaled a sharp, startled breath of air.
“That’s right, I love you,” she said softly. “But I’d never trap you in a situation you’d come to resent. I know you had a rough childhood, and I admire you for being a strong, dedicated man despite your parents’ divorce, and I think you’re incredible for giving up years of your own life to raise your siblings after your father died. Even now, you continue to be the responsible one in your family, always in charge and solid as a rock. But have you ever stopped to think about yourself and what you might want for a change?”
He stiffened, annoyed that she somehow, someway, had the ability to dig past the surface and dissect the man beneath his controlled facade. “I have everything I could ever want.” So why, then, did he ache at the thought of losing her? And why did his nights seem longer, lonelier, without her?
“Do you really?” Her beautiful brown eyes searched his, looking deep, deep into his soul. “You’re always so quick to see to everyone else’s needs and be strong and reliable and protective, but who takes care of you, Cole?”
He shoved the tips of his fingers into the front pockets of his jeans. “Who says I need to be taken care of?”
“We all need that comfort and security once in a while. Even you, whether you can bring yourself to admit it or not.” Her voice sounded tire
d. Tired of fighting him. “All I want is to take care of you and be your friend and lover. I never mentioned marriage and I’ve never asked you for a commitment, though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want more than an affair with you. But all that’s a moot point now, isn’t it?”
The thick knot in his throat prevented him from answering her question, though his drawn-out silence spoke for itself.
She sighed heavily in defeat, then her chin raised a few notches, displaying a unique blend of gutsiness and vulnerability. “The situation between us keeps getting worse, so I think it’s best that I quit working for you.”
He blinked at her, one of his worst fears realized. “You can’t be serious,” he barked.
Her eyes widened, then narrowed. “And you can’t be serious to think that I’d stay after everything that has happened between us, and how it’s ended. I was really hoping that the Russell case would change your mind about me, not only as a lover, but as someone you respect in the business.”
A desperate, panicky sensation fisted inside him at the thought of her walking out that door, out of his life. And his tangled emotions had nothing to do with concern for her welfare and everything to do with a heart-wrenching fear he couldn’t shake free. “Mel—”
“You’ve already made your feelings perfectly clear, and so have I,” she went on quickly. “This is a choice I have to make for me. I want more than being a front-end secretary, but I don’t see that happening because you’ll never stop treating me as Richard’s daughter, someone you have to look out for and protect. I need to go forward with my life, not remain stagnant, wishing and hoping for something that will never happen. So, I’m cutting my losses and moving on, with no regrets.”
She was so proud, so fearless, so courageous—taking personal and emotional risks with her heart and accepting the outcome with grace, even though it wasn’t in her favor.
“Tell me one thing before I go.” Her voice quivered slightly, and her dark eyes glistened. “Were you ever attracted to me, or just the woman I created for the role in the Russell case?”
A long tension-filled moment passed between them. He was more than attracted, he’d fallen in love with her—the sensible, practical woman she’d been and the sexy, daring woman she’d become. But the words remained locked in his chest, because he knew he couldn’t fulfill all the expectations that came with such a declaration.
“Never mind. Don’t answer that,” she said before he could summon a reply, the faint twist to her lips holding traces of resignation. “I don’t think I want to know and possibly shatter my own personal illusions. It was a nice fantasy, while it lasted.”
She turned and walked out of his office, leaving him cloaked in a thick silence and an awful, helpless emptiness he knew would consume him in the days, weeks, and months to come.
* * *
“What would you say if I asked you to keep an eye on Melodie for me?” Cole asked his brother as they sat at a table at Murphy’s one evening after work.