'I go in the third group, though I think Adam is just sick today because he said he's going to be in my group, too,' I write, and Trent sighs in frustration.
"Which means I'm going to have to go completely alone tomorrow. Poor me," he whines, batting his eyelashes dramatically. "Don't you feel sorry for me?"
I shake my head no and roll my eyes, before popping a fry in my mouth. He clutches his chest dramatically and sits up in his chair. His demeanor turns from joking to serious in a flash, and I raise an eyebrow at him. Over the months I’ve been here, I’ve somehow grown used to his quick talking, dramatics, and random mood changes.
"You know, it's crazy you've only been here a few months, but it feels like you've been around forever. I'm glad you moved here, though I'm not glad for whatever happened to make you look so haunted all the time. Your smile is beautiful though, and I'll never stop trying to put it on your face over and over again," he vows, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
It’s such a sweet and unexpected declaration I don’t know what to say back, so I just smile and glance down for a second to regain composure before looking back up. When my eyes meet his, I try to convey the emotions I'm feeling. Everything he's saying, I feel too.
We really need to have that talk soon.
They all mean too much to me for me to lose them because I can't control my emotions and broken pieces. Though every time I show a bit of vulnerability, they’re right here waiting for me to
If I didn't have the past I do, would I still want to be with all four of them?
It’s a question I’ve asked myself often, but this time I know the truth. I would. They see me in a way no one ever has, even Elizabeth.
Needing to regain my composure, I pull the notebook closer and think about how I want to word this. I feel like at this point we are all such good friends, they deserve an explanation, they deserve to know what happened to make me this way. The difference between them and everyone else is that I feel like they truly want to understand me, to know me. Everyone else is just curious and wants to gossip.
'I feel the same way. I didn't think I'd have friends again, and now I realize I never really had them to begin with. I promise to tell you all soon, why I am the way I am. It's just not an easy past to relive and after going to the storage unit I realize how badly I’ve handled it all,' I write, and slide it over to him. He reads it over and glances up at me, the empathy clear in his eyes. Like he truly wants to take my pain away. I have a feeling his protective anger is only going to be worse when he finds out the whole truth.
"That's okay. You tell us when you are ready to tell us, if at all. Like we said, it's your past and your choice," he says firmly. The fact that they’d accept me either way is exactly why I want to share.
'I want to, I just have to figure out how,' I answer back, giving him an apologetic shrug.
"Oh look, passing love notes when you're right next to each other. How cute. Oh wait, it's because your little girlfriend here can't handle speaking. I looked into you, you know. It's not hard to just pluck a file out and read it since I help out in the office," Callie's nasally voice interrupts, taking away from our sweet moment.
My blood runs cold at her admission, all color running from my face. Trent's eyes flare at the obvious threat in her words. I stand up and stare at her, trying to express just how bad of a choice that would be. She doesn't even flinch as she chuckles, staring back at me with cold eyes.
"How about you walk away now. Neither of us cares that she doesn't speak. But we both w
ish that you would stop," Trent says, sounding pained. His overly dramatic facial expressions make me quietly chuckle. She huffs and walks away, throwing another glare over her shoulder before leaving the room completely. Hopefully she isn't in mine and Adam's group for the field trip. Lord knows that won't end well.
"You good?" he asks, his eyes still full of anger. I give him a quick nod and smile and he relaxes a bit. Honestly, I didn’t want him to know like that, but I’m not afraid of her in the least. I lean forward to kiss him on the cheek. He grins back at me, obviously relieved from the way his anger melts away. "I almost said sorry, but I'm not."
I can't stop the smile that spreads across my face, trying not to notice the people staring at us for causing a scene. I'm sure we'll all be the topic of conversation before too long anyway. I feel like an awful friend at times, but other times it just feels right. I don't think even if they decide not to date me, that they'd just kick me out of the group. They've proven, more times than I expected, that they're in this for the long term.
The day moves slowly, most of our classes so empty that each teacher opts for educational movies instead, which has my head pounding by the time art class rolls around. You can only listen to so many monotonous, boring voice overs in one day.
We only have a few more days before our performance in the arts, and I try not to freak out about it.
"You're the only one here today," Mr. Hill says cheerfully, when the class splits and I head to the music room. I smile back, though it feels odd without Cole here. Mr. Hill spends the class period helping me improve my technique on a particularly stubborn note of the song. Once he shows me the proper way to move the bow across the strings, it clicks. Each time from then on, I manage to play it seamlessly.
By the time the end of the school hits, I'm so ready to leave that I practically run out of music and down the halls to my locker. Stepping up to it, I put my books away for once, since by some miracle, every one of my teachers didn't assign homework. Warm hands wrap around my eyes, and I smile at the scent of Cole’s cologne.
My day seemed so empty without them here.
"I missed you, Charlie girl. Abby tortured me with her useless art knowledge the entire time," he says with an overdramatic sigh, moving his hands and stepping around. "Ow!" he whines as she punches him on the arm.
"Hey." Abby greets me with an innocent smile that has me shaking in silent laughter. She lives for torturing Cole, so I know he isn't even exaggerating.
"Did anyone give you homework?" Cole asks, noticing my books are all in the locker. I give a happy shake of my head and he grins.
"Oh, good! Let's go do something!" Abby says, linking her arm with me after I shut my locker. We walk down the hall to leave; Sophia's car should be waiting for me.
Sophia looks up when we get closer, a grin breaking across her face at the sight of us. She parks the car and climbs out, knowing that we won't all fit in her little bug. She flicks her gaze from Cole to Abby, knowing one of them will tell her what's going on.
"We need to stop by Adam's first, but no homework tonight. Can we steal Charlie for the afternoon?" Abby asks excitedly.