Sex Junkie (Cowboy Addiction 1)
Page 18
Grant ran his finger across her bottom lip, dragging it back and forth. “Is that the only reason?”
“I guess so. Yes.”
“Then no,” he told her firmly, placing some distance between them. “We’ll fuck you, but we won’t make love to you nice and slow. There’s a difference in making love and fucking. You know I’ve always felt that way. If you can’t tell us you love us, that in your heart you realize you’ll never love anyone the way you once loved us, then fucking is all you get.”
Grant’s expression changed considerably. He was in immeasurable pain, and she could relate. He wanted more from her than she was willing to supply. If the roles had been reversed, she wondered what she might do.
“If that’s all you can give, I understand.” She was tortured then, conflicted by the endless emotions running rampant in all different directions. She was mad at Grant for insinuating sex was like some dirty deed, almost a form of corporal punishment.
She was indeed hurt. Grant and Blake clearly wanted her, but they refused to give her the understanding she desired most. She was confused about the love element as well.
Could they love her if they participated in a threesome arrangement? What kind of man shared a woman with another man if he truly loved the woman in his bed? Before she became carried away with analyzing the situation, she decided Blake and Grant held for her what she’d once felt for them—an unselfish love, an unconditional love, a love fated to remain forever strong.
Morgan saw that in them anyway. Unfortunately, she was uncertain of her own feelings. She was unable to get in touch with her emotions. Meth robbed her of the ability to feel love or extend the kind of compassion someone in love would easily share with a person they professed to care about.
“Come here,” Grant said, a guttural edge in his voice. “I want you to go in the bathroom and shower. When you come back to us, present yourself in the proper manner. Then, we’ll treat you like you’re our woman. That is, if you’re a good girl. Okay?”
“If you mention Kilo again, you’ll be punished. Do you understand?” Blake asked.
“Why are you being so mean?” she asked. “I can’t help it that my mind plays tricks on me. I thought Kilo was here.”
“You can control your thoughts. Train your brain, Morgan. Realize Kilo will never be in the same room with you again,” Grant said firmly. “You’re over the worst part. Still, you’ll have clips and images from past delusions. Depending on the severity of those and how much you welcomed evil forces into your life in the past, those will vary. Unfortunately, we can’t do anything about those, and you’re on your own there, but there’s a way you can help yourself, and we expect your full compliance.
“When you start hallucinating, I want you to tell yourself it’s a dream or your imagination. I want you to close your eyes and remember us. Think of the love you and I once shared. Think of how much you used to love Blake. Hold fast to the memories, Morgan. The good times may be the only thing you can cling to in the trying days ahead.”
“You don’t understand,” she muttered.
“I grasp all I care to,” Grant said coolly. “Go get cleaned up like I told you. When you come back, you address us properly. Your training begins now. Are we clear?”
“Yes,” she said, leaving the bed and storming away.
“Wait,” Grant demanded.
She stopped in her tracks.
“Turn around.”
“What?”
“Walk back over here like a lady rather than a spoiled child not getting her way.”
She pursed her lips but followed the request anyway.
He sat on the edge of the bed and pat
ted his knee. “Bend.”
Her nipples immediately throbbed when she realized what he had in mind. “I don’t want to.”
“Five licks are headed your way. Defy me again, you’ll get ten more.”
“You told me to get in the shower. You wanted me to get cleaned up! Why am I being punished?”
“Ten more,” Grant quickly informed her. “And you know why. I don’t put up with a sassy woman. Understood?”
She immediately curved her body over his legs, anticipating her spanking. She typically enjoyed a smack or two, but fifteen licks? Good Lord. Her skinny ass didn’t have enough cushion for that kind of discipline.
Grant jerked her pants down as soon as she sprawled out over his legs. She gasped as his fingers raked across her skin. “You’ve lost too much weight,” he said gently, patting her right cheek.