“I reckon it’s just as well,” he said. “I never wanted you with Hank and Duke. I guess you knew I’d studied on the issue a time or two. Fact was, I always thought of Hank and Duke as my sons. They were always so tough actin’ that I didn’t mention it, and Lord knows if I’d called them my little boys, they would’ve probably beat the tarnation out of me. Anyhow, I reckon it’s gonna be how it’s meant to be. And I don’t fear the three of you splitting up down the road. That was always a concern.”
“I know, Frank.”
He took a deep breath, repositioned himself against a couple of pillows, and continued, “I just want ya happy, kiddo.”
“I know. I’m happy.”
“Not yet you aren’t, but you will be. I’ve heard tale of a fast car. I know where we can find one for ya.”
“I bet you do,” she said, snickering.
“Julie, you know I’d never try to get you killed. You know that in your heart, right?”
“Frank, of course. You’ve been like a father to me.” A beat later she added, “You are my father.”
He looked at her a long while, and right when she thought she might have said the wrong thing, he said, “I reckon you’re right about that. I could’ve searched this great big ole world over and never found a daughter that would’ve made me any prouder.”
“Frank, you loved my mother, right?”
“More than anything. I sure did.”
“Did she love you, too? I mean, do you think she might have at one time?”
“I like to think she sure did.”
“I like to think so, too, Frank,” she said, kissing his cheek and heading for the door.
“Little girl, chances in life only come around once sometimes. Way I see it, you’ve been given a second chance. You love them boys of mine l
ike the dickens. If you don’t, time will pass you by, and one day you’ll be right here in this bed wondering where time went.
“I also hope you’ll get out there in that race car. Hinman Racing put a lot of effort in you and that team of theirs. I’d hate to see you let them down. More than anything else, I’d hate to see you let yourself down. That’s often the worst kind of disappointment.
“It’s tough livin’ in your own skin when you feel like you could’ve done things differently. You want to run but you can’t run far enough, because there’s always a mirror you gotta look in sometime.
“Worst of all, if you don’t like your own company, how in the world can you find better friends if you can’t make nice with yourself? Come to some kind of peace within your own skin. That’s the way I see things. You can let yourself down, but you still gotta look yourself in the eye and try to make sense of why you didn’t try.”
“I’ll think on it, Frank.”
“All right. That’s all I can ask for, then.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Hank said a couple of days.”
“You know Hank. He’ll be here tomorrow.”
“I reckon so,” Frank said, settling against the bed. “I reckon indeed he will.”
* * * *
“How come you didn’t tell her the truth about her mother?” Duke asked, entering his room almost as soon as Julie exited.
“How long you been standing there?” Frank asked, his eyes opening immediately.
“Long enough to know you lied and told her you didn’t know whether or not her mother loved you. She did, by the way. Her aunt once told me and Hank both. She loved you more than she ever loved Julie’s father. She took her own life after he died because she didn’t want Julie, and Julie was the only reminder of a man she never loved. The child she wanted with you she had with another man, and for some reason she couldn’t get past that.”
“Some things are better left unsaid.”