“Are you his girlfriend then?” Morgan’s blue eyes were wide as she stared up at Donovan. “You’re pretty, and my daddy likes you. You made him smile when you started talking that funny way.”
Donovan had laid on her Arkansas twang heavy, telling a few jokes that had Brett nearly in stiches.
“I’m glad your daddy found me funny.”
“Me too,” Morgan said, her expression serious, her voice softer. “He’s sick you know.”
Hot tears spiked the corners of Donovan’s eyes, but she managed to keep them at bay and nod at the little girl. “I do,” she answered simply, glancing over to Sabrina who was dabbing at her eyes and suddenly very busy pouring in the detergent so that she could run the dishwasher.
“Mommy, do I have to have a bath tonight?”
Sabrina cleared her throat. “You do and you might as well head in now. Do you want me to come and run it for you?”
“Nope. I’m a big girl, Mommy. I can do it. I know to only fill it to the line. Can I take Barbie in with me?”
“Sure honey. I’ll be in to check on you in a bit.”
Donovan watched Morgan skip across the room and disappear, those little spiral ponies bouncing behind her. She blew out a long breath, aware that in just a few minutes, things had changed. No longer were the vibes light and confortable. They were big and heavy and full of sad things. They broke Donovan’s heart.
“He tries so hard you know? To act as if things are okay. As if they’re going to be okay.” Sabrina said, swirling the red wine in her glass and watching it as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. “Brett does it for the kids. For me. For him. I can’t imagine being that strong all the time.”
“He loves you guys so much. I think it’s easier for him to be strong for you all then to dwell on…on his…” Donovan faltered, not knowing how to continue.
“He’s terminal,” Sabrina whispered, eyes shiny with unshed tears as she shuddered. “As of a month ago. They just can’t do anything more.”
“I’m so sorry.” What else did you say when confronted with that sort of thing? I’m sorry didn’t seem to be enough, but it was all she had.
“Thank you,” Sabrina said softly. “I’ve had him for over ten years and…” She shrugged, her smile sweet and filled with sorrow. But there was something else there. Something strong and light and full of love. “I wouldn’t trade ten years of wonderful for a lifetime of mediocre. I just wouldn’t. Not even if back then I knew this was coming at me.”
She blew out a long breath and took a sip of wine. “There are people that will never know or experience what I’ve had with my husband. They settle, you know? For money or comfort. Sometimes they settle because they’re just too damn lazy or they’re scared of being alone. None of them will ever know what it feels like to experience the kind of love that you can’t describe, because there’re no words for it. They won’t know unless they take that chance, and I feel sorry for the ones that don’t. The ones that settle or the ones that don’t even try.”
Sabrina tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and smiled through her tears. “Sure I feel sorry for myself sometimes. I sink low, real low. But then I look at my children, and I know that I’ll always have Brett with me. I’ll always have our memories.”
Donovan didn’t bother to wipe away her tears. This woman, a woman she barely knew, had managed to burrow inside Donovan. To make her feel and think about things she didn’t want to.
She was one of the ones Sabrina should feel sorry for.
“You’re so strong,” Donovan said softly.
“I’m blessed,” Sabrina replied, giving her head a shake. “And apparently a total downer. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spill all of that on you.”
“Don’t worry about it. The spilling. It’s all good.”
Sabrina glanced at the now empty bottle of wine and then drained her glass. “I guess we’re out.”
Just then the door swung open and Brett shuffled in with Jack a few paces behind. Harry ran past all of them, yelling something about his Spiderman. Brett looked tired, but that didn’t diminish the power of his smile when he spied his wife.
Donovan’s heart melted. It unraveled into a million pieces, and the hurt that replaced it was intense. She had that once. That love.
Jack’s eyes were on her, and she swallowed hard at the look in them. They were empty. There was nothing there. At least nothing that he was willing to share with Donovan.
“We should go,” Jack said, helping his buddy over to a chair.
Sabrina joined Brett, her hands automatically rubbing his shoulder as she bent low and kissed him on the cheek.
“I expect to hear you sing tomorrow,” Brett said, his voice a little wobbly and weak.
Donovan nodded and walked over to Jack. “For sure. Sounds good.”