“Well, that’s good. I wouldn’t want to give you too much ammunition.” I looked up at him. “Why do you and Boyd hate each other anyway? You were real tight once. Best buddies, if I remember right.”
Zach shrugged and moved away. “I don’t hate the guy. That’s a strong word.”
“What, then?”
“Let’s just say we had a disagreement that changed things between us.”
“Was a girl involved?”
His mouth thinned and his eyes were cold. “You could say that.”
I didn’t want to think about Zach and Boyd fighting over a girl, so I didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, I opened my mouth and bared my soul some more.
“He knows.”
“Who knows?”
“Boyd.”
“What does he know?”
“Those few days. In the Catskills. We kinda wrote a song, and I sang with him.”
“And?” Zach watched me closely, and I turned to face the window.
“And I’ve never felt more alive.” I whispered the words. “Like I was living in a dream, and it was so good, you know? It’s like every moment that came before it didn’t matter. We were in this cocoon, and it felt so right, it was scary. Unfair, really, because I swore to hate him until the end of time.”
“T
hat’s the thing about hate and love and lust and want and need. Depending on the time of day and circumstance and the parties involved, they get jumbled up, and everything is turned upside down.”
“But how can I fix it?” I asked, turning back to him. “How can I make all these feelings go away?”
“Look, I think Boyd’s an asshole. He’s an arrogant prick with more talent than he deserves. So I get it.” Zach walked over to me and put a hand on each of my shoulders. His eyes were intense as he looked straight into mine. “But aside from that, aside from the fact that we both agree he’s a dick, he’s also the guy who makes you feel alive. And in this screwed-up world, if you can find that kind of connection and make it work, why the hell would you want to make it go away?”
He backed away and reached for the door. “I’m heading out with Georgia to run some errands for her mother. She’s pissed because Boyd’s MIA, so I thought I’d help out and make her forget about him.”
Easier said than done, I thought.
“I’ll probably head home tomorrow morning since there’s no reason for me to stay on account of the fact you and Boyd are definitely headed somewhere, and I sure as hell don’t want to be around for that particular ride.” His voice lowered. “You’ve got this, Echo. Just trust yourself.”
He winked at me and left.
My phone buzzed, and I picked it up off the night table. There were several messages from my manager about different paid partnership opportunities for me. One was a jewelry company that most of my friends salivated over. The old me would have been all over this like bees to honey. The new me didn’t care so much. I used to get a thrill at these kinds of messages. Used to think they mattered. And I definitely liked the ego boost.
God. I’d really changed.
I tossed my phone back without answering and stared at the door for a long time. When I finally came alive, I grabbed the notebook off my bed and headed downstairs. My feet carried me down a familiar path that led out back and to the studio.
When I got there, I didn’t give myself the chance to chicken out. I opened the door and walked into the unknown. I had no idea that the next few hours would change my life in ways I hadn’t thought possible. If I had known? I would have packed my bags and run away as far and as fast as I could.
But that’s the thing about not knowing. By the time you realize you’ve landed in water so hot, it’s scalding, it’s way too late to change things. You’d think by now I would have learned that lesson.
20
Boyd
I’d just tucked into a fresh egg salad on homemade bread when I heard a door close. The air changed. My heart ramped up. And I swear to God, I felt an electric jolt all the way to my boot-clad feet. I didn’t need to look over to know it was Echo.