Just okay.
It was why she and David had gotten on so well. He didn’t require sex to be with her. He loved her in spite of it, and for that, she was grateful. The physical side of their relationship was infrequent, and while she did make an effort to be responsive and to make David feel loved, on some level, it was forced. And that was probably why David was so patient with her. Blue knew most men wouldn’t put up with that.
But Cam… Holy hell, Cam Booker was another story altogether. He probably had sex every single night. With someone different.
“You look like you’re going to puke.”
She was in the kitchen, sitting at the island petting Giselle, when Cash walked in. Not like she was constantly checking the clock or anything, but it was just after eight and already getting dark outside.
“You know where I live, Blue. Come around eight.”
She ignored the voice in her head. “Where have you been?” Blue slid off her stool.
“I went for a run.”
Right. He was sweaty and dressed in a T-shirt and shorts.
“How far did you go?” This was good. Small talk would take her mind off things.
“Around the lake.”
“That’s a good hike.”
“I needed to think and clear my head.”
Blue thought back to this afternoon. Her brother had spent a lot of time on his cell.
“Who were you talking to this afternoon?”
Cash sidestepped her question. He walked to the fridge and helped himself to a Gatorade. “I can see why any sane person would love it here.” He raised an eyebrow questioningly. “You planning on staying?”
Surprised at his question, she frowned. “Of course I am. Why would I leave?”
Cash downed the bottle of Gatorade and set it on the counter. “Why indeed,” he replied lightly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Her brother walked toward her and stopped a few inches away. “It means you need a purpose in life. A reason to get up every morning. I don’t see that here for you. You’re not the committee type of gal. You’re not in a relationship, and before you look at me like I’m being an asshole, it’s been almost two years since your husband passed away.”
“I’m not talking about David with you.” Insulted, she glared at her brother.
Cash was silent for a few moments, and when he spoke, his voice was gentle. “I know you loved him, Blue. You wouldn’t have gotten hitched if you didn’t. But I also know the love you felt for your husband wasn’t the kind of love most folks marry for.”
She looked away because, as usual, her brother was right.
“I’m worried about you. How are you not going crazy?”
“I have a job.”
“Working a couple of days a week in some funky boutique is not a job. That’s you looking to fill time.” He sighed. “Bluebell, you’re twenty-nine years old. You live in a house big enough for three families, and yet you’re here alone.” He looked at her pointedly. “With a cat.”
“If this is the talk that’s supposed to make me feel better, no offense, but you suck at it.”
His eyes darkened. “Blue, I want you to be happy. God knows you deserve it after everything you’ve gone through.”
“I am happy.” Her lies, they were becoming easier.
“No, you’re not.” But her brother wasn’t buying them. “You used to have passion. You loved dancing. Expressing yourself through music. Did that just die?”