That surprised her. “What were you doing there?” Her brother got serious fast. And the look on his face twisted her up. She recognized it. Something was coming. Something she probably wouldn’t like. What else did the universe have in store for her? Was she the punching bag of the hour?
Cash seemed to consider his answer, and his hesitation didn’t make her feel any better. “I think you should sit down.”
“I don’t like the sound of this.” She started to back away. “I don’t want to know.” But she sat anyway, her hands folded on her lap as she gazed up at her brother.
“I found her, Blue.”
“What are you talking about?” But she knew. Every fiber of her body sparked to life. She knew.
“Adelaide. I found her.”
Silence followed his words. The kind of silence that infiltrated every pore. The kind of silence that sank into her skin and her blood and her bone. It got bigger and bigger until it crushed her. Until that silence turned into a keening sound that started off soft and weak but grew steadily until she shook from the strength of it.
“Are you sure?” she managed to say through clenched teeth.
Her brother nodded. “I am.”
“Where?” she whispered.
“Nashville.”
She mouthed that word. Nashville. She rolled her tongue over it and listened as it echoed inside her head. “Did you see her?”
He shook his head. “Not in person, but I have photos and an address. This isn’t Arizona again. The intel is good. She’s there, Blue.” Cash knelt in front of her. “Your daughter is in Nashville. The next step is your decision.”
He pulled a blanket off her bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Get some sleep. Think on it.” He nodded to the bedside table and an envelope. “Everything’s in there.”
“How did you… Why?”
With both hands on her shoulders, he looked her straight in the eye. “I promised you ten years ago I’d find her for you. Arizona didn’t change that. If anything, Arizona let the anger grow. And being on the inside, I met the kind of acquaintances I needed to, to do the kind of digging I did.” He kissed he forehead. “He’s not going to win. We won’t let him.”
Cash stood up. “I’m beat. I’ve been on the road for days. Get some sleep. Read the file. And let me know what you want me to do. You want your girl, we’ll get her. You want me to hurt him where it counts, his fucking reelection, I’ll do it.”
Her brother didn’t utter empty threats, but Blue was too emotionally drained to fixate on anything other than the fact that after all this time, the baby who’d been ripped from her arms was found. Ten years ago, she’d given birth to a little girl, and ten years ago, her stepfather had forged her signature on a hastily arranged illegal adoption, and she’d never seen her child again. The so-called lawyer couldn’t be found. The paperwork was gone. And her step-father and mother acted as if they’d just avoided the scandal of the century.
Little did her mother know just how dark that scandal would have been.
Some family had been gifted her greatest accomplishment for the outstanding price of twenty-five thousand dollars. And that family was in Nashville.
Adelaide. That was the name she’d given her. What was her name now? Did she look like Blue? Did she carry the same empty space in her soul that Blue did? Was she happy? Healthy? Safe?
She was weeping and didn’t know it. Blue swiped at the hot tears on her face and crawled across the bed until she reached the table that sat beside it. Her life and plain manila envelopes seemed to be a thing now. She hated manila envelopes. Blue rolled onto her side and grabbed one of her pillows. She stared at the envelope, wanting desperately to rip it open and see what was inside. Instead, she watched it quietly, fingers gripping the pillow as if it were a lifeline. She stared at the damn thing until her eyelids grew heavy.
And eventually, she fell asleep.
Her dreams were chaotic. Angry. Sad. She was transported back to that night. Back to a past she’d been running from. A past she’d been trying to forget.
* * *
She’d given birth in a private hospital. “Only the best for you,” he’d said.
The doctor had been kind to a frightened teenager who was alone with no one to lean on, and the nurses were sympathetic. Her labor had been long and painful. She’d cried out for a mother who’d never been there for her in the past, so why would she expect her to be there now? Her brother had left, signed up for the military, and the only
girlfriend she’d ever really had, Amanda James, stopped coming around when her belly had gotten so big, she couldn’t see her feet. Amanda said it was gross. Said she’d come when the baby was born and they could dress it in cute outfits and take it for a walk in a fancy stroller.
Bluebell Bodine was alone until she heard that cry. That sweet, amazing, shaky, full-of-life cry. They’d placed the baby on her chest, and if she tried for the rest of her life, Blue would never be able to explain the feeling that gripped her. It crushed her from the inside out and filled up that empty space. She latched the baby to her breast and watched in wonder when she began to suckle.
“She’s feeding,” she cried excitedly to the nurse at her side. The woman had smiled, but it was the kind of smile that didn’t reach her eyes. When the baby was done, the nurse patted Blue on the head and told her she needed to take the baby for some tests. The woman paused at the door.