It knifed through her, sharp and invasive and so strong, her voice shook along with her body.
“You don’t have the right to ask if I’m okay. Or wonder what I’m doing, or where I am or who I’m with, doing all those things you’re wondering about. And trust me,” she nodded as if he were standing right in front of her, “I’m doing things. Lots of things. You gave up that right when you left me there alone, when you betrayed everything we had. Then you made me doubt myself. You told me it was all my fault. That your actions were a direct result of all that noise you said I created. You took zero responsibility and made me feel like shit. You didn’t just break my heart and my trust, you threw it away with no regard and showed me what a selfish bastard you are.” Her voice grew louder as that fury and anger emboldened her. She was having a moment. A beautiful, glorious moment of recognition, of ownership.
For the first time in forever, Sid felt as if she wasn’t a passenger in this wreck of a life she’d found herself in, but, in fact, she was driving the train and about to run over the thing standing in front of her. The thing preventing her from moving forward.
Nick Sanchez. Former fiancé. Former cheating bastard. Former breaker of her heart.
“You don’t deserve what I have to give. You never did. And I’m just realizing that now.”
She was done feeling sorry for herself. Done with living in the past and dwelling on a future that would never come because someone else decided to throw it away. So what if she only had half a heart? It was more than some folks had.
In that moment, she realized it wasn’t losing Nick that had sent her spiraling. It was the other thing she’d lost. And that ache would never go away.
“Come on. Don’t be mad. There was a lot of good too. I know you’re holed up in Michigan. I have business in New York City. I’m here until Sunday. I thought that…I was hoping maybe to visit. I…”
“Nick,” she interrupted. “I’m going to say this one last time, and I really need you to pay attention. Okay. Sit down and listen.” She paused. “Are you listening?”
“Yeah.” He sounded unsure. “I’m here.”
“Go. Fuck. Yourself.”
She tossed her cell back into her purse, then threw her hands in the air and did a victory dance. God, she felt free and light and…
Beck stood by the front door, watching her. “Oh,” she said, breathing a little heavier than she’d like.
“I knocked,” he said, obviously uncomfortable. “But, ah, you didn’t answer, and I heard raised voices, and the door was unlocked, and I thought…” He shrugged. “I don’t know what I thought, but I should have waited for you to answer. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in.”
Sid shook a long strand of hair from her face, grabbed her jacket and purse and walked toward Beck. “It’s all good. I was just taking care of something I should have taken care of a long time ago.” She breezed past him and didn’t stop until she got to his truck.
“I locked up for you,” Beck said, sliding behind the wheel. “Okay,” he said, glancing her way. “Let’s do this.”
Sid was silent as they headed to the town proper of Crystal Lake. It was easy to sit back and not say anything, on account of the fact the wind had left her sails and she was wondering what exactly Beck had heard. Plus, the radio was on, some local morning show by the sounds of it, and the host was going on and on about ice fishing.
They drove down Main Street and across the bridge and, once on the other side of town, hung a right just past the river, where the homes were large, with equally large tree-lined lots. After a few minutes, the homes came fewer and farther between, and eventually, they came to a fork in the road. Beck continued along the right, onto what looked more like a laneway than anything else, and at the end of it, up on a knoll that overlooked the river, sat a beautiful stone church. Some of the gorgeous windows were broken, most likely from rocks thrown by kids, and the steeple leaned a bit to the right, but the bones of it, the very meat of it, was intact, and Sid stared at it in wonder.
“It’s beautiful.” She turned to Beck with a big smile. “It’s so much more than I expected, and I haven’t even seen the inside yet.” She peered to the left of it. “Is that an old graveyard?”
He nodded. “Some of the oldest settlers in the area are buried there.”
“You don’t…” She looked back at Beck. “Does it come with the church?”
“No. It was separated from the church a long time ago. I believe it’s heritage land now.”
A car pulled in behind them, a sleek silver BMW. Beck got out of the truck, and Sidney followed suit, though at first, the woman in the car didn’t see her. She was chatting away to Beck, long blonde hair stirring in the breeze, expertly applied makeup on point, complete with plump glossy lips and perfectly lined brows. She was dressed in a smart camel duster, with a cream sweater underneath, and tan slacks tucked into knee-high brown boots. The woman was put together. Sid assumed she was the Realtor.
She stood a little too close to Beck for a professional meeting, at least in Sid’s mind, but maybe out here, they did things differently. The woman leaned closer and giggled.
Nope. She was on the hunt for more than just a sale.
Her hand was on Beck’s arm when Sid walked up to them and held out her hand.
“Hi. I’m Sid.”
The blonde slowly removed her hand from Beck and shook Sidney’s. “Olivia.” She glanced up at Beck. “I didn’t know you were bringing a friend.”
“We’re not really friends,” Sid said. “We just met.”
“Right. Okay.” Olivia cleared her throat. “Let’s go have a look, then, shall we?”