Chapter Sixteen
Sid was happy.
She was that girl.
The one who walked on clouds and sang in the shower. The woman who daydreamed and looked up recipes on the internet and attempted to cook meals thought up by Michelin-star chefs in France. She doodled in the margins of her work pad, cranked easy-listening ’70s when she was alone, sported at least three new wrinkles from smiling, and she didn’t care.
Not one bit.
In her world, the birds sang sweetly, the lake shimmered like diamonds, baby deer ran through her backyard, and Beck was in her bed every single night.
As she walked down the path that followed the river, her arm tucked into Beck’s, she thought that she was the happiest girl in the world. Was it the Michigan air? The first buds on the trees and the flock of blue jays and cardinals in her backyard? The warm sun that lit the stone cottage every morning?
She glanced up at Beck. Or was it the man beside her?
It wasn’t a question, really. It was all those things. But more than anything, it was the past letting go of her. Those dark times were locked up in a box she could open if need be, but locked up all the same. She wasn’t ignoring them anymore. She wasn’t wallowing in self-pity and pain and going through the motions of life. She wasn’t thinking of what could have been before and of what she’d lost. For the first time in a long time, she was thinking about the future.
A scary thought, but also an exciting one. She was alive and grateful for what she’d allowed herself to experience. Because it wasn’t so long ago that she would have been afraid to dive into this thing with Beck.
They walked along the path in silence, the chilled air refreshing as they made their way over to the Caboose, which was parked along the river. There was a lineup for hot chocolate, and Beck stopped just short of the crowd.
“It’s going to be a bit of a wait,” he said, turning to her. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
It was late. She grinned slyly. They could go back to the cottage and have all that dessert they’d been talking about at dinner. Heck, she was good for at least two servings. She giggled. Maybe three.
Sid glanced back to the Caboose and was about to tell Beck they could leave when she caught an older woman watching them intently. The woman was there with a man, most likely her husband, Sid thought, though he was busy chatting up another couple. The woman, however, was focused on Sid and Beck. She said something to the man, and he glanced over as she moved away from them and headed in their direction.
She felt Beck tense, but didn’t have a chance to say anything before the woman was there, smiling at them, a sad sort of smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Sid let her arm fall from Beck’s, and he enveloped the woman in a hug, the kind that was strong and hard and full of things unsaid.
“Hey, Colleen. I see you and Ben are here for the hot chocolate too.”
The woman, Colleen, stood back and nodded. “We are.” She turned to Sid and offered her hand. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Colleen McBride.”
McBride.
Sid took the woman’s hand. “I’m Sid.”
McBride. Beck had just hugged the woman like she was family. This had to be Cate’s mother.
“I think I might have met your son, Ike, a few weeks back. At the hockey thing…weekend…tournament?”
Colleen nodded. “Ike and the boys sure do like their hockey.” She glanced back at Beck. “Though he’d hate for me to tell you that he could barely walk for days after playing so much in one weekend.”
“I hear that,” Beck replied. “We’re not getting younger.”
“No,” Colleen murmured. “We’re not.” She stepped back. “I should go. I just wanted to say hello. It’s been a while. You know our door is always open, Beck. Same as it’s always been.”
“Yeah. I’m… Work’s been crazy lately.” Beck ran his hands through his hair. “I’ll get over soon. I promise.”
She looked at Sid. “Nice meeting you.”
She headed back to the group of folks she’d been waiting with, and the man waved to Beck before he and his wife moved up the line for their hot chocolate.
“We can go home,” Sid whispered. Beck’s face was unreadable, his mouth set, his eyes hooded.
“Let’s go,” he said, turning around to head back to the parking lot. He didn’t reach for her or touch her, and that happiness she’d felt only a few minutes earlier dimmed. She might be able to say goodbye to her past and all the ghosts that lingered there, but it was clear that Beck couldn’t.