“Your parents must have been close to Cate.”
Beck paused, an egg roll halfway to his mouth. “They’ve known her since she was a kid, so, yeah, they were close. She was like family to them.”
“Like you are to her parents.”
“I’ve known them since I was six and her dad coached my hockey team.” Beck pushed his plate away and stared straight ahead. His chest was tight, and that feeling that had lingered for days, the one that said all this happiness he’d been enjoying couldn’t last, well, it up and hit him square in the face. “Why are we talking about my family? Or Cate, for that matter?”
“Because I want to know about them?” She slid off the stool and took a few steps, watching him warily, those big eyes of her confused. “I shared my darkest secrets with you last night. I guess I feel like I deserve some of yours in return.”
He couldn’t explain the anger in him. It was just there, big and ugly and making him crazy. He got up and tossed all the leftovers in the garbage.
“I don’t feel like sharing, Sid. I didn’t know that was in the playbook.”
“Playbook? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“This. This thing we’re doing. What are the rules? Is there a rule that says I need to sit down for an entire evening and tell you that Cate McBride was the love of my life? That the day she died, a part of me went with her? That I miss her so bad sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night and think she’s there with me?” He paced the floor. “Is that what you want to hear?”
“I don’t know what I want to hear, Beck. But I do know I don’t deserve your attitude or your anger or your flippant disregard for my feelings.”
Sid looked hurt, which made him angrier, but not at her —at himself. He was fucking this up royally and had no one to blame but himself.
“Christ, I’m making a mess of this.”
She nodded. “You are.” She grabbed her jacket and purse and headed for the front door. “Take me back to the cottage. I think maybe some space will be a good thing.”
“Come on, Sid.” God, he felt like an absolute shit. “Stay.” He thought about what his Nana had said. “Let’s figure this out.”
“Please,” she said sharply. “Take me home.”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.” Her words were clipped, and that was that. Beck grabbed his keys, and, ten minutes later, he sat in his truck, in her driveway, watching her disappear inside the darkened cottage. It was the first night they’d been apart in weeks.
He wasn’t sure about a lot of things, but when he got home, he knew one thing for sure. He didn’t like that she wasn’t there.
Chapter Eighteen
At three in the morning, her cell rang. At first, Sid had no idea where she was. It was dark, her brain was fuzzy, and there was a weight on her that she hadn’t felt in a long time.
She rolled over and grabbed her cell from the table beside the bed as memories of her fight with Beck rolled around in her brain.
“It’s me.”
She blinked and sat up, pushing her wild mane of hair away from her face. “Beck? What’s wrong?”
“I can’t sleep.”
She knew the feeling all too well. In fact, she’d only fallen asleep less than an hour earlier.
“You there?” Beck asked, his voice so close, it felt as if he were in the room with her.
“Yes.”
“Can I come in?”
Heart beating faster now, she sat up straighter. “Where are you?”
“Look outside.”