Marriage Material

As if on cue, the doorbell rings. When I open it up she’s standing there with a bag on her shoulder and the biggest smile on her face.

“Here, let me get that for you,” I say and grab her bag. “Come on in.”

The house is old and in need of some work, but for the most part it’s perfect. It’s an old farmhouse exactly like I wanted, and it’s so bright and sunny. Robin walks into the living room and looks around. Suddenly I’m wondering what she thinks of the place and if there’s anything she would change.

“Can I help you get the rest of your stuff?” I ask, looking back out to her car.

“Well, that’s actually all there is,” she says, looking down shyly at the small bag. “I lived at home with my parents, so I didn’t bring much with me.”

“But you’re staying, right? For good?” I don’t know why I’m so anxious about her leaving, but I want to do all I can to make her stay. To make her want to stay.

“Of course.” As if remembering, she looks around again. “Where is Baby Charlotte?”

“She’s napping,” I say, holding up the baby monitor in my hand. “I didn’t want to sleep because I knew you were coming. I read in one of the baby books that you’re supposed to sleep when the baby sleeps, but that seems like a load of crap. There’s always stuff to do, and with just moving in there’s still a lot of unpacking that needs to get done. I’ve got a mountain of boxes in the back that I keep ignoring.”

“I can only imagine. I’ve been here my whole life, so as you can see I can fit all my belongings in a big duffel bag.”

“Do you like that feeling?” I ask. I was able to do the same when I had to go live with my aunt and uncle. I could put everything I owned in a garbage bag and it made me feel sad and alone.

“No, I actually hate it. It makes me feel insignificant.” There’s truth in her words and I nod in understanding.

“I think that’s why I have so many boxes.” She smiles, and I point upstairs. “Let’s go pick out your room.” When we get to the landing I point down one hall. “There are three down there that are completely empty.” Then I point in the opposite direction. “The master is this way, and there’s a small room next to it I’ve used as the nursery.”

We walk in that direction and I open the door to my bedroom and step aside. There’s nothing in here besides a dresser and a bed. Even the lamp is on the floor. When I show her the small room beside it, she quietly looks in. The nursery is completely put together, and I even hung some pictures on the wall. I wanted Charlotte to feel like she was home instead of just crashing like we were at my old place. I look at Robin as she looks at Charlotte and smiles. Then we step out of the room quietly so we don’t wake her up and close the door. I show Robin the empty room on the other side of the nursery and she agrees this one would be the best choice.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing in it. I’ll have a bed and furniture delivered tomorrow. I wasn’t sure what you’d be bringing with you,” I say as I put her bag down by the door. “Charlotte’s room was the priority when we moved in, but she’s been that way since the day she showed up.”

“You mean the day she was born?” Robin asks, and there’s a tone of teasing like I got it wrong.

“No, I really mean the day she showed up.” And I explain how Charlotte came to be mine.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” she says, eyes wide.

“I didn’t know my cousin, but I do feel bad that Charlotte lost her mom. I don’t know how I’m going to explain it to her when she’s older, but I keep reading books on the best way to do it. I guess I’ll know when the right time is. I just want to be her dad and love her. The rest of it I’ll figure out as I go.”

“You will, and I think it’s really beautiful of you to take care of her.” She reaches out and touches my arm.

It’s so casual, but to me it’s so incredibly intimate. I think about how easily I brushed my thumb across her cheek and what it made me feel. Things stirred inside of me that I didn’t know were possible. I always thought I’d end up alone, but moving to Deercreek might have been the plan for me all along. Now that I’m here, possibilities like never before are right in front of me.