“And I’m not the same woman. Guess we’re even on that score.”
“I want to make things right between us.”
“To ease your conscience?” She took a step closer, her body now shaking.
The anger in her was like a category five hurricane. It was strong and swift and all-consuming. She moved to him, her hands at her sides, small fists that wanted nothing more than to hurt him. Hurt something. Anything to deflect what she was feeling.
“No.” He swore. “Maybe? I just want the chance to make up for all the things I ruined. For ruining us.”
She laughed in his face, but it wasn’t anything to do with joy. “Us? Do you mean you and me? Or You, me, and Nathan.”
His eyes widened, and something flickered in their depths. Was it shame? Sadness? Pain? Did she care?
Ruby spoke slowly so that there was no way he could misunderstand the meaning of her words.
“You gave up on us. On me. You were the one who went away.”
“Ruby, I was young and stupid and selfish. I’m not those things anymore. Let me prove it to you. Let me show you.”
“There’s no point, Trav.”
“I think there is.”
“You’re still so damn sure of yourself.”
He was slowly nodding, and something about the way he was looking at her made her heart squeeze harder. “Because I’m right.”
“Not this time, cowboy. No way in hell would I ever consider letting you back into my life.” She had to take a moment. “You gave up that right when you walked out. When you went about your life like nothing happened.” Her voice broke. “Like Nathan never happened.”
His nostrils flared, and his eyes narrowed. If Ruby had been on her game, she would have noticed those things. She would have known that she’d finally pressed a button that maybe she shouldn’t have pressed. At least, not here on the terrace of the Crystal Lake Golf and Country Club.
“That’s low.”
Her chin jutted out. “It’s true.”
“Your truth needs a little tweaking. I’m willing to take my fair share of hits for the crap that went down. But I’m not a hundred percent to blame for the shit marriage we had. I know about the pills, Ruby. I know you stopped taking them. You got pregnant on purpose.”
His words sliced through her like a knife through butter. Shocked, she could only stare at him like an idiot. She was going to cry and make a complete ass of herself, and right now, breaking down in front of Travis wasn’t something she could handle. She needed to get away from him. Needed to make the memories stop. Make his words go away.
If only for a moment. She just needed a moment.
Ruby took a step, hoping to move past him without another word spoken between them.
His hand reached for her, but she sidestepped.
He made a strangled sound. “I think abou
t Nathan. I need you to know that. I just didn’t know how to handle things back then. How to handle us. You were so…broken. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. Jesus, you were my world. The only thing that kept me going when my own life was shit.” He was close now. So close. His warm breath fell on her cheek. His scent filled her nostrils. His pain fed her own.
“Don’t touch me.” She barely got the words out. The anger was long gone; instead, she was filled with panic. Filled with dark thoughts of a past she wanted to remain buried. Because he was right. She’d done things. Things she wasn’t proud of.
“Why? Because you’re afraid of what you’ll feel?”
God, she was cold. And confused. And tired. Her heart ached because of the pain, but also because of the guilt. She looked Travis in the eye, as clarity hit her square in the gut.
“I’m not afraid, Travis. I’m terrified.” Her voice broke, and Ruby shoved past Travis, disappearing into the darkness.
Chapter 9