You Make Me Weak (The Blackwells of Crystal Lake 1)

“I’m sure it was,” Rebecca murmured to herself as she made her way toward the private wing known as Grandview. She pushed through the doors, and a few moments later, slipped inside John Blackwell’s room.

He was sitting up, which surprised her, and she smiled when he glanced up at her.

“There’s my favorite girl,” he said gruffly..

“Hey.” She walked to the bed and eyed the food tray. It was half-empty. Again. Another surprise. “I see your appetite has returned.”

“Not really. Darlene brought me some soup and, well, the mashed potatoes weren’t half-bad today.”

His thick white hair was askew, and he ran his hands through it. The action was simple, but it reminded her so much of Hudson that she had to look away. He coughed, and couldn’t seem to stop. She motioned to the oxygen mask, but he shook his head, and after a while the coughing eased.

“You look better,” she murmured. And he did. There was color in his face, and his eyes seemed brighter.

“Hudson’s back.” He spoke bluntly—as was his way—and there it was, the thing they never talked about.

Rebecca poured some water into a cup and handed it to John. “I know.”

Back when Rebecca had dated Hudson, she and John Blackwell had never been close. He’d been the aloof father, with the hard, stern face and a disapproving manner. He thought she wasn’t good enough for his boy—being a Draper and all—and while never impolite, there was a noticeable lack of warmth when he was around. After Hudson left Crystal Lake, she’d had nothing to do with the man. It was by chance they’d reconnected several months earlier. He’d brought a dog into the clinic. The poor thing had wandered onto the Blackwell property, half-starved, flea ridden, and heavy with pups.

John had known Rebecca right away, and after that initial visit, he started coming by the vet clinic a few times a week. At first it was to check on the dog and her pups. But as time passed, Rebecca realized it was just an excuse to come in and talk. He started bringing her coffee on Fridays, and it became a regular thing, right up until he got sick.

They’d never discussed her past with Hudson, and the John she came to know wasn’t anything like the one she remembered. This man carried a burden and seemed lost. Something inside her responded to his sadness, and here they were.

He took the glass of water. “That’s all you’ve got to say? I know?”

“It is,” she said, taking a step back.

“That’s surprising. Thought there’d be more.”

“There is. I just don’t want to talk about it right now.” She was more than a little hurt he’d not told her his oldest son was coming back to town.

He studied her for a few moments and then took a sip from his glass. “Did I ever tell you how Angel and I met?”

“No,” she murmured, relieved he’d decided to move on.

John was silent for a few seconds, his forehead furrowed, as if considering things. His head dropped back to the pillow, and she inched closer, taking the glass of water from his hands. They shook a little, and she gently squeezed his fingers.

“I was home. On leave with a few weeks of nothing to do but drink and mess around with whoever was willing to mess around with me.” A wry grin touched his mouth. “What else was a young man of twenty-two to do? I had no desire to get involved with anyone. No desire to put down roots. Much to my parents’ dismay. And then I met Angelique the day before I was to head back to active duty. It was early spring, and the daffodils poked through the ground around the dock. I remember ice still clung to the edge of the lake, and mist rolled across the water as I headed out for a run.”

He closed his eyes and smiled. “Nothing in the world will clear your head like air that smells of winter but feels like spring. I ran damn near around the lake and ended up in town. Decided to stop at a small café that had opened up in the heart of the square, right there beside the clock tower. I walked in, dripping of sweat and smelling of the previous evening’s bad choices, and there she was.”

His voice was so wistful, it brought a lump to Rebecca’s throat.

“She was taking someone’s order. Jeremy Levitz, if I recall correctly. Angel was small, with the tiniest hands I’d ever seen. Her eyes were as blue as the Caribbean, and her hair was so shiny, like spun gold. It was long, hung nearly to her waist. I’d never seen anything like it. Never seen anyone like her. She came over and took my order, and I could barely muster the courage to look her in the face. I went home and told my parents I’d met the girl I was going to marry.”

“Really,” Rebecca said with a soft smile.

He smiled. “Of course, Angel didn’t make things easy. I managed to get her information from the owner of the café and went round her apartment that night, but her roommate told me she wasn’t home. She was at the drive-in with that damn Levitz.”

John started coughing but again shooed her away when she would have given him oxygen.

“I drove out there and found them. No way could you miss Levitz’s bright red Chevy. I yanked open the door and told Angel to wait for me. Told her I’d be home in the fall. That my service would be over, and I was coming back to Crystal Lake to make my life.”

John fell silent then, seeming exhausted. When he spoke, his voice was noticeably weaker. “She waited.” He attempted a smile. “I loved her like I’ve never loved anyone.”

“I know,” Rebecca watched him closely.

“She gave me three boys, and I…” His chin trembled, and he paused. “I didn’t take care of that gift. I did things I shouldn’t have. And then when she was taken from me, I was hard on those boys. Hard on them because I felt sorry for myself. Sorry that I was alone. Sorry and…” He sighed. “Guilty.” That last word was whispered, and she barely heard him.