“No. I just…” She shrugged. “I wasn’t expecting all this.”
“You like?” he asked lightly.
“I do.”
They settled down on the blanket and ate their lunch, both enjoying the fresh air and amazing view.
“So, FBI.” Rebecca looked at him quizzically.
“Yeah.”
“How’d that happen?”
He shrugged and swiped at a bunch of crumbs on his lap. “I ended up at college on the West Coast and was recruited.”
“Do you like it?”
He was quiet as he considered his answer. “I do.” It seemed like the right answer, so why didn’t it feel right? He did like his job. It was rewarding, and he made a difference.
“How’d you end up in Ohio?” Hudson changed the subject, leaning back onto his elbows as he gazed up at the sky.
Rebecca chewed off the edge of her biscuit. “David had a job waiting for him. His uncle owned a car dealership, and he was a mechanic so…”
“You don’t talk about him.” Hudson glanced up at her. He was curious as hell about her husband. Hell, he’d even gone after Nash for information, but that hadn’t gotten him anywhere. The guy was loyal to a fault and had no problem telling Hudson to back off. If Hudson wanted to know about Rebecca’s marriage, then he’d have to find out on his own.
“No. He was…” She seemed to struggle for words.
“Hey, we don’t have to talk about this.”
“No. It’s fine.” Rebecca picked at the edge of her cuff. “David was…well, he was the answer to my prayers. At least, at first. I mean, I needed a distraction. A way to forget.”
You.
Rebecca didn’t have to say the word, but he heard it ring out inside his head. And he felt like an absolute shit.
“He was a way out of this town, and I wanted to leave.” She turned her head slightly, but he saw the tremble in her lips and heard the quiver in her voice when she continued. “I’d known him all of two months when he asked me to move to Ohio with him. I figured you weren’t coming back, and by that time, I was so angry and hurt that even if you did, I’m not sure what I would have done. Ben was home again, and I just needed to get away.”
Hudson sat up. “What about college? I know you’d taken off a few years, but you were all set to go.”
She didn’t say anything for the longest time, and when she turned to him, her eyes were heavy, shadowed with a pain he was just starting to understand.
“You left, Hudson, and I was broken. I can’t explain it any other way. I was empty, and I didn’t work anymore. I didn’t talk to anyone. I didn’t want to see anyone. I stopped eating.” Her voice broke, and he reached for her, but she moved quickly and got to her feet.
“Violet tried to help. She knew how screwed up I was, but I wouldn’t let anyone inside. I locked myself in my room and kept the phone in there because I was sure you were coming back for me. I stared at that stupid thing for hours at a time, but it never rang, and you never came.”
She shivered violently and wrapped her arms around her body. “One night, I found some pills, and I swallowed every single one.”
“Jesus, Becs.” Pain lashed at him. Pain and self-loathing and anger at his weakness.
“My mom found me, and Ben actually got me to the hospital.” She laughed bitterly. “He had a sober night. I guess it was a sign. The doctor said they saved my life, because I would have died within the hour. I spent a few weeks in the psychiatric ward, saw a counselor, and then they s
aid I was good to go home. By then, I’d missed the first week of college, not that it mattered. I didn’t have it in me to go.” She turned back to him, not bothering to hide the tears that shimmered in her eyes. “Then I met David.”
“I came back.”
He saw the shock on her face, and it only made him feel worse. “You came… When?”
“About a month after you’d left for Ohio.”