“So, I went into the city yesterday.”
Maggie continued to sticker the mountain of toys in the section they’d been given. She looked at Raine. The young widow was pensive, her brow furled in concentration as she carefully wrote out prices. Her complexion was pale even with the wash of sun that caressed her.
Maggie sensed the conversation had just become serious.
“I had an appointment with a specialist.” Raine continued to price the toys as she spoke. “A fertility specialist.” Her dark eyes sought Maggie’s, and she paused, letting the pain inside show briefly. Raine’s bottom lip trembled, and she took a second to compose herself before continuing. “I’m thinking of having a baby.”
Maggie’s jaw dropped. Okay, she knew the young widow was hurting and hurting bad, but this was insane.
“A baby,” Maggie repeated, kind of stunned.
Raine’s eyes shimmered in the sun, the unshed tears like misty diamonds. “Jesse’s baby.” She laughed, but the sound was bittersweet and held no hint of joy. “We froze his sperm before he shipped out the last time he was home on leave. I didn’t want to. I thought it was creepy and unnecessary since, you know, he’d be home again, but Jesse insisted.” She bit her lip and exhaled. “It’s as if he knew he wasn’t coming back.”
Maggie didn’t know what to say. All around them, volunteers were setting up for the sale. Conversations floated on the air, talk of the baseball game and barbecues or what plans had been decided for the rest of the weekend. Small stuff. Life stuff.
All of it paled in comparison to what the young widow was struggling with.
“The night that Jake called… I remember him telling me that Jesse had been hurt. Really bad. And before he even had a chance to say he’d passed, I thought of what Jesse and I had done.” Raine exhaled and glanced around. “I knew before he said the words.” She shuddered. “I knew Jesse was gone, and I was so angry at him.”
Raine took a second to compose herself, and Maggie’s heart broke at the struggle she saw. “I’m still angry, and even though I know it makes no sense, I feel like…when he donated his sperm he was giving up. That it was an omen.” Her voice rose. “Everyone thinks I’m mourning Jesse, that my days are filled with thoughts of him and what we had and what we lost, but they’re wrong. You know what the truth is?”
Maggie remained silent.
“The truth is, all I’ve been thinking about is the fact that he’d want me to have his baby, and I don’t know…” Maggie bit her lip and held back tears of her own. “I don’t know if I want to do it, and that makes me feel like a total bitch.”
“Raine, you need to take some time. Now isn’t the moment to make a decision like this. Jesse’s death still hasn’t hit you, but trust me, it will.” Maggie gave her a hug. “Everything is still so fresh, I’m sure some of it doesn’t seem real. A baby is a huge commitment, and I wouldn’t advise anyone to try it on their own.”
Raine’s shrugged. “You seem to be doing a great job with Michael.”
“I had no choice.”
“I’m sorry.” Raine whispered.
“You do, but you need to take some time. Step back and look at it when your emotions aren’t all over the place. You haven’t even grieved your loss. So don’t do anything rash, because once a child is conceived, that baby is for keeps.”
“Hey, you girls all right?” Luke Jensen, Maggie’s neighbor, cut into their moment. “Can I get you guys coffee or anything?” The paramedic looked from Maggie to Raine questio
ningly.
Raine shook her head and moved away as Maggie began to sticker a fresh lot of toys. “We’re fine.”
Luke’s gaze lingered, but then he moved on.
She spied Cain hauling out boxes of stuff from a small trailer that had appeared out of nowhere. He’d taken off his T-shirt, and his muscles rippled beneath the sheen of sweat that coated his skin. He turned suddenly as if he knew she was staring at him. Their eyes connected, and the physical jolt that shot through her body was scary. In that moment she knew. This man would break her heart if she let him.
She needed to forget about him. And she needed to do it fast.
Mac was tossing the stuff out to him, cursing as he did so and complaining about the pain along his jaw—a jaw his father had marked with his bare fists. Jake moved things along, though the soldier kept glancing in their direction, his gaze seeking Raine, his eyes filled with pain and hunger.
Were they all right? Luke’s question echoed inside her head.
Yeah, Maggie thought, we’re all just freaking peachy.
Chapter 14
To say the garage sale was a success would be an understatement. The weather had cooperated, spilling sunshine and heat onto the field, encouraging the crowds to come early and spend heartily.
The townies were out in full force, and the influx of weekenders and a good number of folk who’d traveled from the city was impressive. The executives who’d organized the event were happily counting their cash, and by noon a good amount of the donated items were long gone. They’d been packed into cars and trucks and trailers and taken away, hopefully never to be seen again.