But here, nestled inside this stone cottage, she and Jake had survived on leftover Chinese food, chips, beer, and sex.
She’d supplied the Chinese—thank God Yin’s had left extra. Jake had grabbed a stash of chips and beer from the main house.
And the sex. Oh God, the sex. It had been incredible. No, it had been mind-blowing and intense…and heartbreakingly tender.
Raine lifted her head from Jake’s shoulder and glanced out the window, blinking rapidly at the bright play of sunlight that fell into the room. She had never in her life felt this sated. This complete.
Should she feel guilty? Guilty that deep down inside her soul, where she’d been broken, she was finally at peace? How could this feeling be wrong? She thought of Jesse and of the life they had shared. She thought of their love.
This was different. It didn’t in any way negate what she’d had with her husband, and it certainly wasn’t just about the sex—though that was nothing to complain about. It was about all the other stuff. The quiet looks, the tender touches. The way Jake anticipated her mind and body without even knowing. And now…now she wasn’t sure where to go or how to react.
Where did you go from this place? This place of contentment and aching muscles and warm flesh.
Jake moved slightly, burrowing deeper into the comforter he’d taken from his truck—the one they’d been using as their bed. The last of the firewood had been put on a few hours ago, and the flames flickered, dancing warmly. The shadows they cast provided an endless amount of amusement for Gibson, and she smiled as the puppy jumped up the wall in an effort to catch one.
Raine relaxed and settled into his shoulder once more, moving her hips slightly as she did so. Her lower half was tucked between his legs and—she smiled—his erection was already saying hello.
Jake’s eyes were still closed, and judging by the long, even breaths, she thought that he was still asleep. After the night they’d had, he should be. She took the moment to enjoy watching him unobserved—a bittersweet sort of thing—because being with him like this, lying so close that his heartbeat seemed to be a part of her, reminded Raine of a past that she’d tried so hard to forget.
And yet for the first time since Jesse died, Raine felt as if she could grab hold of some of those memories without pain. Or regret.
For as long as she could remember, the Edwards boys had been a part of her life, and she had loved them so much that it sometimes hurt. Her love for Jesse had been solid and reliable…and safe. But Jake, he’d always touched something wild inside her—he got her, while Jesse took care of her.
She was starting to figure out a few things, and it was those things that scared the crap out of her. Jake Edwards touched her deeply—maybe more deeply than any other human being. Ever.
Including Jesse.
The thought fell into her head and she froze, her stomach rolling as a wave of guilt washed over her. How could she even think such a thing? Jesse had been her world for years. He’d been her rock-solid base, the one she could always count on. In some ways, he’d been the mother she’d never had, and for that she’d been grateful. In a world where stability meant everything to her, Jesse was her safe harbor. He’d allowed her to truly belong to something she’d always wanted.
A family.
A family that included his best friend and twin, Jake. She thought of her teen years and that brief moment when she’d been so infatuated with Jake. Man, he’d broken her heart when she was fifteen and she’d caught him with Rebecca Stringer.
“You were mine,” she whispered.
&n
bsp; Heart pounding, Raine let out a long, labored breath as her fingers traced a path from Jake’s forehead and lingered next to his mouth. Slowly she reached for him and pressed her lips to his, moving languidly over him.
Maybe it was never an infatuation. Maybe she’d been in love with Jake her entire life as well.
Her eyes widened at the thought. Was it possible? Could she have been in love with both Jesse and Jake?
How screwed up was that?
“Hey.”
She realized Jake was awake, his warm brown eyes now open, their depths clear and staring at her with concern. “Everything all right?”
No.
She nodded yes.
Her eyes drifted back toward the window and she sighed. “The storm is over and I’m not sure I want to leave yet.”
Jake slipped his hands around her and buried his head in her hair. “Unfortunately, there’s this pesky thing called life and responsibility.”
His hands slid to her breasts and she smiled.