“So, continuing this rational conversation, where are you at with Serena?”
Nash looked pissed, and I figured I’d said something wrong. He threw me off when her asked, “He really did a number on you, didn’t he?”
I instinctively knew that he was referring to James. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I told you last week that I wanted to see where this went for us, that I feel something for you. But at the first hurdle, you assume that I’m out. I’ve watched my mother and sister get dragged down by men, watched them struggle with doubt about themselves. That doubt was put there by those men, and I see that same doubt in you, baby. And I fuckin’ hate it.”
I had to stop my mouth from falling open. Seriously, this man was shocking the shit out of me. Repeatedly. I’d never met a man so in tune with my feelings; a man so perceptive, and willing to get it all out there in the open. Maybe there really was a chance at something here.
“Yes, he did a number on me,” I admitted. “He shredded my self belief and then he kicked me out with nothing to my name, and even less to my self worth. I’ve spent years building myself back up, Nash, and I honestly thought I was over it, but being with you has brought my insecurities out.”
“I can see that, and I want to fix it. I don’t want you to have any doubt about this shit. As far as Serena is concerned, yeah we had sex, but that’s all it was. She and I are too alike to ever work, and to be completely honest, I’m not interested. And I doubt she is either. We kept in touch but just as friends so you have to trust me on that one. Can you do that?”
I trusted Nash implicitly. I had no idea why, but I did. “Yes, I trust you.” My voice was certain. I wanted to give that to him; I sensed he needed that.
“Thank you. Now, about those insecurities of yours... I’m not interested in anyone else. I only want you, Velvet. I haven’t been interested in a relationship with anyone for ten years, baby, so when I tell you that I want one with you, that should tell you how serious I am about this.”
My belly fluttered. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. He’d completely flabbergasted me. He knew it, and curled his arm around my waist, and pulled me close. His lips swept across mine softly before he asked, “Are we on the same page, sweet thing?”
Still at a loss for words, I whispered, “Yes.”
It was enough for him. He smiled and nodded. “Thank fuck for that.”
***
Later that night, after he’d blown my world with his mad sex skills, I curled up next to him in his bed. I snuggled into his chest and he put his arm around me, letting his fingers trail up and down my back.
“Can I ask you something?” he said, a serious tone to his voice.
“You can ask me anything,” I said because I was fast getting to the point where I would trust him with everything.
“Are you close to your father?”
Shit, that question had come out of left field. “No, I don’t have anything to do with him.”
“Tell me about him, sweetheart.” His fingers continued to caress my skin, loving me with their touch; making me feel safe with him.
“He’s a cheating, lying criminal who never cared about my mother or me and my sister.” In my mind, that covered everything he needed to know about my father.
Nash wanted to know more though. “He cheated on your mother?”
“Repeatedly. One of my earliest memories is of my father with another woman on our couch. Turned out she was a friend of my mothers, and stayed over one night after a party. My father screwed her while my mother was asleep upstairs.”
“Are they still together?”
“God, no! She left him when he went to prison the first time about ten years ago.”
Nash was taking this all in, and I loved that he was interested to know about my family. “Where is he now, babe?”
“He’s in prison again. This
time he’ll be in there for awhile because he got mixed up in some bank robberies and they assaulted some of the security guards.” My jaw hurt from clenching it and the first stirrings of a headache surfaced. Talking about my father always upset me.
“So, it’s just been you, your mother and sister for awhile now?”
I bit my lip, not wanting to answer this question. But I had to be honest with him; he’d been honest with me about his stuff so far, it was only fair. “I walked away from my family when I was twenty. Growing up, I’d been embarrassed by them. Kids at school used to pick on me about my white trash family because it was common knowledge what a lowlife my father was. When I got the marks at school to be offered a scholarship to university, I took it and ran.”
Most people were stunned when they discovered I’d studied at uni, but Nash didn’t blink at it. He simply asked, “What did you study?”