He chuckled. “I’m not saying this for J’s sake. I’m saying it for yours. You’ve decided to be with him, and as much as that concerns me sometimes, I’ll always support your choices. If you want to make it work this time, you need to figure him out and stop overthinking everything.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever figure him out completely but I’m working on not reacting to everything so quickly. I know that’s one of my biggest problems.”
I could sense his smile on the other end of the line when he said, “J’s a lucky man. Now, I have to go because I’ve got customers to get to. But, you need to talk to him and find out what’s going on; chances are it’s not what you’ve been thinking. I’ll try to call you tomorrow but I may run out of time. Love you.”
“I love you more, Blake Stone,” I replied and we hung up. Thank God I had Blake in my life; his advice about men was invaluable some days.
***
That afternoon, I ducked into the clubhouse on my way home from work to drop off some paperwork for Mum. I’d had a long day at work and was anxious to get in and out quickly to avoid running into my father. I also really just wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. Of course, good intentions never go to plan; I ran into Nash on my way in.
“Whoa, sweet thing. Hold up,” Nash said as he placed both hands on my upper arms and stopped me.
“Hey, Nash,” I responded, trying to keep my focus on him rather than on the thoughts that were swirling around in my head.
He kept his hands on my arms and his eyes bore down into mine. “What’s wrong, Madison?” I could hear the concern in his voice and it touched me. For all his cockiness and dirty talk, Nash was a sweetheart. We’d grown closer over the last couple of months and I’d come to rely on him to vent my frustrations to. He was also good to get a guy’s perspective on stuff when I was mad at J.
“I just want to drop this paperwork off for Mum and then get out of here,” I answered him, doing my best to avoid his questioning gaze. Nash could read people really well and tonight I didn’t want to be read. I just wanted to get home.
He shook his head, and grabbed my hand. “Nope, not good enough, darlin’. You’re coming with me and you’re going to talk.”
Shit.
He led me out of the hallway and into the bar area where we could be alone.
“Nash, I really don’t have time for this today,” I complained as he forced me onto a barstool.
“I’ve learnt that we need to make time for this type of shit, otherwise people like us fall back into old habits,” he replied, thoughtful eyes scanning mine. “And that’s a place you don’t want to go.”
“You’re being dramatic. I’m not about to rush out and have a bloody drink over this.”
“No, but if you keep it locked up it will fester. Now, tell me what’s wrong.”
I blew out a long breath, and realising that he wasn’t going to let this go, I started talking. “It’s J. He’s not himself and I’m not sure how to handle it.”
“What do you mean, not himself?”
I felt guilty talking to Nash about this. J wasn’t a huge fan of Nash’s so I didn’t feel it was right to talk about our problems with him. In the past, I hadn’t shared specific problems with Nash; I’d just talked in general terms about men.
Nash was a perceptive man and picked up on my hesitation. “He’s not giving you the cock you need?”
“God, Nash.” I shook my head at his phrasing.
“What? I’m wrong?”
Again, I hesitated. J would be livid if he knew I was having this conversation.
“So, I’m right. What’s his problem? If you were my woman, you’d never go without my cock, and you’d be fucking assured that it’d be the best damn sex you’d ever had.”
I had to smile at his words this time; so confident and self assured. I liked that in a man. “Tell me, if you did have a woman, what would cause you to stop putting out?”
He chuckled. “I’ll answer that but let’s be clear, that would never fucking happen. The only thing that would stop me would be if the connection was broken.”
I sat there stunned. Nash, flirty Nash who had sworn off relationships, had probably just hit the nail on the head and I would never have expected that from him. I leaned closer to him and half whispered, “What else do you have tucked away in your heart that you’re hiding from the world?”
He didn’t even flinch. Instead, he leaned even closer to me so that our faces were now inches apart, and whispered back, “Everything. There’s no need to spread that shit around.” He pulled back away and continued, his voice louder now, “But you, sweet thing, have a fucking way of getting in there, so take what I tell you and use it to fix your shit. One of us should benefit from my demons.”
Warmth spread through me. This was a rare glimpse into Nash. He kept himself hidden and locked away; I’d always known that, but slowly he was revealing himself to me. I wondered how long it would take to drag the demons from his soul. I touched his arm lightly and smiled at him. “I wish you’d show your real self to more people. There’s a beautiful soul in there, I can tell. Thank you for that.”