“Been awhile since you’ve been here,” she murmured as she let me in the house.
“Just came by to see that you’re alright,” I said. There was a distance between us, and I hated it. We’d always been close, until now. And I blamed my father for that.
“I’m fine. I wish you and your brother would start believing that.” Annoyance crept into her voice and her body language spoke volumes; this was getting her down.
I followed her into the kitchen, taking in the messy state her house was in. This was unlike her and was another giveaway that she wasn’t doing so good.
“Mum, how can you be okay? If I discovered that my husband had cheated on me throughout our marriage, and had another family, I’d be devastated and could never take him back. Add to that the fact he hits you...” I stopped because my emotions about this whole situation were getting to me; I was too damn mad about it and hurt for her.
She looked distressed at what I’d said but she quickly covered it. “I really don’t want to talk about this with you,” she snapped.
“Have you talked to anyone about it?”
“It’s no-one’s business, except mine and your fathers.”
“Bullshit!” I yelled.
She flinched at my outburst, but didn’t say a word.
“This affects our family, Mum. And damn it, I want to talk about it. I think there’s been enough silence on the topic. I’m sick of the secrets and lies.”
“I’ve tried to tell you that this lifestyle is full of fucking secrets and lies. It’s time you started listening to me.”
“Just because something’s been a certain way forever doesn’t mean it can’t be changed. I don’t expect everything to change, I get it, but this shit between you and Dad needs to be talked about. You need to talk; it must be eating you up inside. I know it would be eating away at me.”
“You and I are different people, Madison. I chose this way of living when I married your father. I knew what I was getting myself into. What you’ve got with J appears to be different. I hope for your sake it is because otherwise he and the club will fucking eat you alive.”
Fuck.
“So, you’re telling me that you knew Dad was going to cheat on you? And did he hit you before you married him?” I was so confused; I just could’t imagine marrying a man like that.
She went quiet and took a minute before answering. “He did cheat on me before we married.” She paused when she saw the look of disbelief cross my face. “You’ve got to understand that kind of thing was common; it still is in this life. You know that.”
“I might know that but there’s no way I’d ever marry a man who cheated on me, Mum.”
She nodded. “I know that. And that does make me happy. I just hope that J never goes there.”
“Well, if he does, he won’t have a dick left to do it again. Not after I get to him.”
Mum laughed, and it was the best sound I’d heard all morning. It broke the tension a little. “I’ve missed you, honey,” she said quietly.
My tone softened. “I’ve missed you too, Mum.”
She pointed to the stool at the kitchen bench. “Have a seat and I’ll make you a coffee.”
Smiling, I said, “That would be good.”
I sat, and she made coffee. We then spent the next couple of hours catching up and doing our best to avoid the topic of my father. I desperately wanted to talk to her about him some more, but I knew not to push her. If I did, she would retreat and start avoiding me. No, I needed to be smart about this and figure out a way to help her without her realising what I was doing.
***
I pulled up outside the clubhouse and sat in my car for a couple of minutes, processing some of the stuff my Mum had told me. She had willingly married a man who cheated on her. I was having trouble getting past that; it wasn’t something I could do. My thoughts moved to J and our relationship. I trusted him. He’d proven himself and I truly believed he wouldn’t cheat on me.
I was startled out of my thoughts when someone tapped on the window of my car. Looking up, I saw it was J. “Hey, baby,” I greeted him, as I got out of the car.
He brushed his lips across mine and asked, “You okay?”
“Yeah. Kind of.” I wasn't sure what I was feeling.