I can’t not be with him, so I pull my clothes off and open the shower door to join him. Placing my hand to his back, I move against him, sliding my body around his so I’m in between him and the shower wall. Winter has packed on a lot of muscle in the last twelve months while pushing himself to get as strong as he can. I think it’s been his way of dealing with not only his club battle but also with our personal battle. When I’m this close to him, I feel tiny, and whenever his arms circle me, I feel so damn safe that I don’t ever want to be anywhere but in his arms. This time, though, his arms don’t come around me. He keeps his hands to the tiles either side of my body and stares down at me, not uttering a word.
“Is it Max?” I ask softly.
His eyes search mine before he pushes off from the tiles. Water from the shower cascades over him and he reaches for the showerhead to redirect it away from him. “Yeah. And the club.” Reaching for me, he adds, “And us. Fuck.”
The jagged tone of his voice nearly breaks me. Nearly. But I hold my shit together. For him. “Do you want to talk about it?” Winter’s not a big talker. Not about his shit, anyway. He loves to get me to talk when I’m going through stuff, but when it comes to him, he shuts down and tries to process his pain alone. I’ve learned over the years not to force him into talking because it never ends well for us when I do that.
He cups the back of my head and pulls my mouth to his. “No.”
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His lips claim mine at the same time his hands reach for my ass. When he lifts me, I wrap my arms and legs around him, grateful that we have each other. Grateful that no matter what we’ve gone through, we’ve clung to our love.
We lose ourselves in this kiss. After a week apart—because Winter insisted I come to Sydney before him so I could spend time with my family—we reunited last night with the kind of sex that staying at your mother’s house allows for. It wasn’t bad sex, but it wasn’t what we’re used to, and God how I’m missing some hot, rough sex with my husband.
“Fuck,” he rasps, coming up for air.
Breathless, I grip his face and pull his mouth back to mine. “Don’t fucking stop.”
Our kiss grows demanding. Urgent. Frantic.
Our bodies are pressed so hard together we could almost be one.
Our need is frenzied.
“Christ, Birdie.” Winter lets go of me so he can drop to his knees. Hooking one of my legs over his shoulder, he brings his mouth to my pussy and runs his tongue along it while rubbing his thumb over my clit.
I cry out with pleasure, not even caring if my mother can hear me. I can’t censor myself any longer. Gripping his hair, I push the back of his head to keep his face against my pussy. I need more from his tongue. From his beard. From his fingers.
“Oh fuck,” I almost scream when he alternates between his tongue inside me and his fingers. And when he works me deep inside with those fingers while running his tongue over and over my clit, I completely abandon myself to the pleasure.
“Oh God, oh God.” It becomes a chant.
I squeeze his hair.
I press myself harder against his face.
I pant through my building orgasm.
“Fuck!” This time it’s a scream as I shatter. Every nerve ending is lit from the bliss Winter has delivered.
He unhooks my leg from his shoulder and stands. Wiping my cum from his beard, he growls, “We’re going back to me doing that every morning. Life’s too fucking short not to taste you every day.”
I frantically grab for him, needing him inside me. “Can we discuss this after you fuck me?”
Taking hold of my arms, he stops me and crushes his body to mine. The look in his eyes tells me he has something important to say so I give him the space to say it. “I know I’ve been distracted and distant for a while now, Angel, and I’m sorry. This shit going on… it’s fucked up and I’ve allowed it to come between us. I won’t do that anymore.”
My heart hurts for him. He thinks this is all on him? It’s not. “You’re not the only one who’s allowed distance to build, Winter. We’re both hurting. We both did this.”
He works his jaw, determination clear in his eyes. “However it happened, it stops now. You come first, every fucking day from here on out.”
I want to tell him that what we need is a whole lot more than sex every day, but I don’t want to ruin this moment. Baby steps. We can start with this and build from here. Today, though, we just need to be close and start connecting again.
“I love you and I’ll never stop loving you.” I kiss him, long and slow. “And now what I really want is for you to fuck me and not hold back.”
He doesn’t need any further encouragement. Spinning me around, he takes hold of my hips and thrusts inside me. Hard. Exactly how I want it.
When we’re finished, he kisses me one last time and says with force, “I love you. Never forget that.”