“Yeah, but cooking for one feels like a waste of time.”
She finishes with the capsicum and stops to look up at me. “Have you always lived alone?”
I might be reading between the lines, but the way she’s looking at me, makes me think what she’s actually asking is ‘have you ever lived with a woman?’.
I nod. “Yeah. Unless you count the six months I lived with my brother after Mum died.”
Moving onto the snow peas, she says, “Does he live in Sydney?”
I never talk about my family. Mostly because no one ever asks me, but also because they’re my least favourite thing to talk about. Family doesn’t mean as much to me as it appears to mean to Zara. Not blood family, anyway. My Storm family, on the other hand, means the fucking world to me.
Knowing she’s got a million more questions inside her, I give her an answer to this one and hope she’ll move on to her next one. “He’s in jail. In Adelaide. I haven’t seen him for four years.”
“Oh, okay. Does he keep in touch with Violet and her mum?”
“He’s never had anything to do with her. Calvin is a piece-of-shit human being and that extends to his fathering efforts.”
Her chopping slows and sh
e directs her full attention to me. Her voice is soft when she says, “It sounds like you made up for that a little, though. I mean, no one can fully replace your real father, but trust me, when a good man steps into those shoes, it makes a difference. And when your dad is a piece-of-shit father, a good man who steps in can make life good. I hope you know that you made a difference in your niece’s life.”
I’ve never known a woman to give enough of a shit about me to say something like that to me. And I know Zara means every damn word she’s saying because after weeks of spending time with her, I know she’s always straight up.
“I hope to fuck I made a difference in Violet’s life. She deserved so much more than I could give her, though. If I know one thing in this life, it’s that if I ever have a child, it will know and be loved by both parents. I’ll make damn sure of that.”
“I don’t know what you did for her, Fury, but I will say this: from my experience with King, him just showing up every day in my life has made a difference to me, let alone all the things he’s actually done for me. We all just want someone to see us and be around in case we need them, right? It’s just knowing he’s there; it makes me feel safe and loved. Violet will grow up knowing you’re there, and that’s everything some days.”
She’s right. It’s the knowing that I never had growing up. The only fucking thing I knew was to expect a beating most days. But this is the last thing I want to be talking about with her in the middle of the night, so I change the subject. “Is there any meat going in this?”
The mood shifts from serious to her blasting me with a sassy smile. “You’re a man who likes his meat, huh?”
I eye all the vegetables sitting on the counter. “I prefer it to all this.”
“And here I was thinking you must eat healthily if you’ve got a body like that.”
“I don’t rely on green shit to build these muscles.”
Her eyes flare with heat and she starts chopping again. Her technique turns a little rough, like she’s not fully concentrating on what she’s doing, to the point where I worry she’s gonna take a finger off.
Placing my hand over hers, I still her. “Let me do it.”
“I’m nearly done.”
I move off my stool and walk around the counter. Taking the knife from her, I say with more insistence, “You’re going to cut your finger off if you keep that up.”
She looks up at me at the same time she angles her body to mine and moves closer. I don’t think she even realises what she’s doing. We were already close; now we’re close in a way King would lose his shit over.
Pressing her hand to my chest, she says, “Careful. You’re showing more of your red.”
What she doesn’t understand is she’s drawing it out of me. She’s bringing feelings and desires to the surface that I’ve never experienced. And it’s causing me to act in ways I don’t recognise.
But damn if I don’t like all of it.
Every feeling, every action, every word.
She’s pulsing through my veins and I’m letting her stay there.
She feels too damn good not to.