“Yeah, no. Not happening. I’m doing this alone.” She had shit to do here in Sydney; she didn’t need to be along for the journey of burying my father.
“Yeah, no. Not happening. We’re doing this together,” she threw back, laying the challenge right at my feet like the Birdie I loved. Then, softening her tone a little, she added, “I loved your dad, Winter. And I don’t want you alone right now.”
Fuck, that screwed up my thoughts. She might have been shutting down on me before, but this was far from shutting down. This was Birdie opening wide for me. “I’m taking the bike. You’ll have to pack light.”
“I know the drill.”
She was right; she did. Birdie had come on every road trip I’d ever done while we were together. She’d often told me the back of my bike was her second favourite place in the world. Her first had been in my arms.
“I don’t know when I’m coming back.”
“I can fly home if I need to.”
“Fuck. You’ll be too much of a distraction, Angel. Max and I have shit to discuss.” Shit we’d been putting off for far too long. Shit I needed to be completely focused for.
“I promise I won’t.”
“Yeah, you will.” And yet, I couldn’t say no to her. I lifted my chin towards the front door. “Leave your car here. You’ve had too much to drink.” Thank fuck I’d only had two beers.
Without argument, she did as I said.
I shot Carey a text to let him know what was happening and then I waited as Birdie settled her ass on the back of my bike. When her arms came around me and she pressed her body to mine, and murmured, “I’m not going to let you shut down your grief like you did when your mum died,” I knew this might not have been the best idea of hers I’d ever agreed to.
10
BIRDIE
Sitting on the back of Winter’s bike gave me a lot of time to think about everything that had happened between us. That was happening between us. Before he received the call about his dad, I’d been ready to forget all my reasons why I shouldn’t sleep with him. I had forgotten them in the time between Winter first kissing me and then getting me naked. The minute he’d mentioned a condom and falling pregnant, it had all slammed back into me. But my attraction to him was too great, and I’d been unable to pull away. All I’d wanted was one more night with him. One night to forget my past mistakes. To pretend he was mine again. To let him love me the way I desperately wanted him to.
And now, after turning everything over in my mind for the past six or so hours, I was fixated on what he’d said about cheating being his only hard limit. “I don’t give a fuck what else happened that you think would stop us from being together.” That’s what he’d said, and maybe, just maybe, I could tell him what I’d done and he’d accept it. “And, baby, when two people love each other the way we did, there’s not fucking much worth holding onto.” I’d truly believed him when he’d said that, and hope was building deep inside that maybe he’d be able to move past my deception.
But first, we had to get through his father’s funeral and everything else that needed to be taken care of. I didn’t know how Winter’s relationship with his brother was these days, but it had been strained five years ago and for many years before that. Max’s wife, Melissa, was the cause of that tension, so I doubted much had changed. If that was the case, Winter was in for hard times, and I was determined to help him through them. We might not have been together for the last five years, but my love for him had never lessened. This man’s happiness was important to me, and I’d stand by his side for as long as he needed, just like he’d stood by me when my father had died.
“What are you thinking, Angel?”
I jumped at his voice. I’d been deep in thought standing in front of the drink fridge at the servo we’d stopped at in Coffs Harbour. Winter had left me to go to the men’s room and I hadn’t heard him coming up behind me.
I realised just how close he was when I spun around to face him. “You could give a girl some notice,” I said, a little breathless at his close proximity. God, even after all these years, Winter still sent my heart racing and scattered my thoughts. No man had ever come close to making me feel the way he did.
He smiled, but it wasn’t his usual sexy smile. This one was filled with exhaustion and the grief he wasn’t showing but was definitely feeling. Winter never shared much when he was hurting. He was good at showing his happiness, but when presented with situations that brought pain, he didn’t want to talk much about it. He usually just wanted to get on with life and tended to focus on the practicalities instead of the feelings. He was a lot like his brother and his father in that respect. Not that Winter would ever agree he was like his brother.
“Well?” he prodded. “Are you regretting your decision to come?”
“No, I wasn’t thinking about that. And I don’t regret it. I was just thinking about Max and Melissa, wondering if she’s still causing issues between you and him.”
Exhaling a long breath that spoke volumes about his weariness over the situation, he nodded. “Yeah, she is.”
“So you guys still own your mum’s house?”
When she’d passed away, his mum had left him and Max her family home that she’d grown up in. Her father had built it himself and Winter had spent a lot of his childhood there. Melissa wanted to sell it, but Winter refused, and that had caused huge issues for him and his brother when Max had tried to push him to agree to the sale.
“Yes, not for lack of Melissa trying to force my hand. But it’s not like they desperately need the cash. I’d sell if that were the case.”
I loved Winter’s strong family values and how he felt so strongly about holding onto a piece of their family history.
“I hate that she’s being like that. I’d hoped she would come to her senses over it all.” Melissa had always been d
ifficult, especially with Winter, and I’d struggled to connect with her when she’d married Max. But I’d worked hard to build a friendship because Winter had needed me to. He’d needed me to be the bridge between them at times, to help them navigate their rocky relationship so that their problems didn’t put a permanent wedge between him and his brother.