He let me go and said, “I’ll see you in the morning”—he glanced between Birdie and me—“but you should both come for dinner tomorrow night.”
I arched a brow. “Melissa’s good with that?”
“Mel will have to be good with that. I don’t get to see you often enough; I’m making the most of this visit.”
Birdie moved next to me, her arm brushing mine, sparking the need her touch always did. “We’d love to.”
Max’s eyes questioned me and I nodded. “We’ll be there.”
Birdie and I stood silently, watching him leave. Alone together again. It was fucking absurd how two people with the years of love behind them we had could feel so disconnected. But here we fucking were.
I placed my hand to the small of her back and we walked to the lift. It took forever to arrive. Birdie wasn’t good with silence, never had been, and I knew she wouldn’t be now. I was right.
She looked up at me with an expression that implored me not to pull away again. “I know you want space and I know I’m not good at it, and I’m sorry for that, but I need to know how you are, Winter. It was your dad’s funeral today and I’m worried about you. Please tell me something. Anything.” Her face twisted with the anxiety I knew she must have been feeling. “God, I—”
I pressed my fingers to her lips. “I’m okay, Angel.”
She opened her mouth to say something but then snapped it closed. The lift arrived and I ushered her in. Once the doors had closed and we were riding up, I said, “What?”
She fidgeted, absently pulling stray hairs from her clothes nervously before letting her thoughts rush out the way only Birdie did. “Your idea of okay is a lot different to my idea of okay. You certainly weren’t okay last night, which I don’t blame you for, but how you were last night compared to how you are today is confusing me. Where are we, Winter? Do you still need space? Can I touch you? Will you sleep on the other side of the bed again? Do you want me to go home? Or can I stay?” She stopped for a moment, before laying her heart down, bruised and beaten. “Do we even have a future?”
The crack I heard in her voice as she asked her last question hit me fair in the chest. Fuck, my inability to shift my anger was hurting her just as much as her confession had hurt me. And while I’d wanted nothing more than to inflict hurt last night, I didn’t want it today.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
It always protects.
“I’m angry, Birdie, but I don’t want to be. What I do want is a future with you, but I need to find a way out of this place where I’m stuck first.”
The lift reached our floor and we walked the short distance to our room. I opened the door and met her inside where she looked at me with all the confusion she’d told me she felt.
As I stopped on my side of the bed and kicked my boots off, her face crumpled with tears. She madly wiped them away. “Okay, I’ll keep giving you space to do that.”
We stared at each other for a long few moments while more tears fell down her cheeks. Then, as I took a step towards her, to pull her into my arms, she made her way into the bathroom with—“I’m going to have a shower.” She’d read my moment of indecision for what it was—my failure to keep no record of wrongs.
Fuck, how long was I going to keep that fucking record for?
28
BIRDIE
I eyed Melissa with caution and hesitation when I entered her kitchen the next night. Max had met Winter and me at the front door and let us in while Melissa was nowhere to be seen. The boys had greeted us with excitement. And I had wondered how Melissa felt about us coming over.
When she heard me enter, she faced me with the same caution. Then she surprised the hell out of me when she said, “I owe you an apology. I’ve been a bitch to you when I shouldn’t have been.” She wrung the tea towel she held, her nervousness on full display. “Max and I have been going through stuff, and I took it out on you and Matt. I’m sorry.”
I moved closer to her. “Apology accepted, because honestly, none of us are perfect. But seriously, Melissa, if you go after Winter again, you’ll have to hold me back. He’s a good man and he doesn’t deserve to be treated the way you treated him.”
Displeasure flashed in her eyes, but she held it in. Max had clearly let her know he wouldn’t put up with her shit. I figured her apology was mostly because he’d told her to make it. However, I also hoped she had it in her to change, which was why I accepted it.
Winter and Max joined us, and Melissa turned back to the dishes she was washing after greeting Winter with a quick hello. I noted that he received no apology, but was unsure if that was because of what I’d said. It would be interesting to see how dinner panned out.
“Birdie, would you like a drink?” Max asked.
I left Melissa and followed Max and Winter into the formal lounge. “I’d love some of the wine we bought, thanks.” We’d ubered it over because Winter intended to have some drinks with his brother. On the way, we’d stopped at a bottle shop and picked up some of my favourite wine. Today had been a shitty day and I needed a drink.
Max exited the room to get our drinks, and Winter and I sat next to each other on the two-seater couch. As he spread his arm over the back of the couch, I said, “Did you guys get everything finished up at your dad’s?”
The reason I didn’t already know this was because Winter had left me at the hotel this morning while he went to his father’s house. After yesterday, where I’d sensed a softening from him, he’d gone back to barely talking to me. That was after he’d told me he was angry last night, after which I’d told him I’d continue giving him space, after which I’d broken down while he stood watching me.