“It’s too soon to say for sure, but he’s stable for now. We need to keep an eye on his liver enzymes and make sure his blood pressure stabilises.”
Oh, God.
He’s not saying yes.
I stared at him, willing him to say something else, something good, but in the end, all he said was, “If you want, you can head up to ICU now and wait for him. It will still be some time before you’ll be able to see him, but if you let the nurses know when you get there, they’ll notify you as soon as you can go in.”
My words were captive in my throat, so Mum thanked the doctor. My heart crumbled as he left.
Dizziness circled my head and my legs threatened to give out on me.
He’s going to be okay.
He will pull through.
He has to.
My chest tightened with fear.
What if he doesn’t?
27
Carla
“Here, I got you coffee,” Nash said as he sat next to me and handed me a takeaway coffee.
“Thanks.”
After I took a sip, I stretched my back. The clock on the waiting room wall told me it was just after 5 a.m. We’d been at the hospital for about nine hours and I could hardly keep my eyes open. I didn’t want to sleep, though. I wanted to be awake when the nurse came to tell us he was conscious.
They’d allowed us in briefly once they had him settled in the ICU, but he’d been connected to tubes and had been sedated. He hadn’t looked like the strong, dominating man I knew, and it had thrown me. I’d visited loved ones in hospital before but seeing Havoc lying on that bed unconscious with all those tubes was too much. The knowledge he could die had slapped me in the face.
I wanted to rip those tubes out and shake him back to life.
I wanted to take back the invitation to dinner at my mum’s. If he hadn’t been there he would never have been stabbed.
I would have given anything to have him bossing me around again.
I’d been talking to God for the last few hours, promising all sorts of things if Havoc pulled through this. Hell, I’d even promised not to argue with everyone as much—something I knew I’d struggle with because arguing and me went together.
“You should think about heading home and getting some rest,” Nash said. He’d returned an hour earlier and had sent Velvet and Mum home to get some sleep. We still hadn’t heard from Havoc’s sister, which continued to concern me.
“No. I want to be here when he wakes up.”
“I know, but I can call you when he does and you can come straight back.”
I held his gaze. “I’m not leaving, Nash, so don’t keep on me about this, okay?”
He gave me the almost-scowl that he gave me when he was frustrated and nodded. “He better fuckin’ appreciate your concern for him.”
“A bit like yours, right?” He’d impressed me with the way he’d been at the hospital and taking care of club shit for Havoc. But I knew from the tone he’d just taken that he was still in denial about how he felt.
His almost-scowl morphed into a full scowl. “I’m here for you, not him.”
I was tired and over his issues. Sighing, I said, “Nash, you guys are club brothers. You’ve known him for years and had each other’s backs for as long. I don’t understand why you can’t get past this bullshit.”
“I don’t think you will ever understand the level of responsibility I feel for you, Carla. As far as I’m concerned, I’m gonna be looking out for you till the day I die. Any man who wants to be with you will have to jump t