Here was her chance to back down, and she knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that she wasn't g
oing to.
'Nico, please!' She bent her head and trailed soft kisses downwards over the dark shadowing of hair, feeling him tense and then jerk convulsively as he pulled her away.
'What's wrong?' she asked innocently. 'Don't you like me doing that?'
'You're not that naive.' The words were bitten off and tight, every bone in his face hard beneath its tanned covering of skin. There was not enough room for him to hold her off on the narrow bed and despite the fabric of his jeans Saffron was aware of the urgent hardening of his thighs, the tautness of a body held on a very fine thread of control. She waited, breath held slightly in agonised apprehension, subduing hysterical laughter at the role reversal. Surely she should be the one hanging back, hesitant.
'What's the matter?'
He had sensed her laughter and she could feel him probing the darkness for an answer to his question.
'I never thought it would be so difficult to lose my virginity. Is that why you don't want me? Because of that?'
'Don't be bloody stupid!' Nico moved jerkily, pulling her ruthlessly against him so that she could not help but be aware of his arousal. 'Of course I damned well want you,' he muttered tight-lipped, 'but I want you as a woman, and I don't damned well know if I can exercise the self-restraint to initiate a virgin. Does that answer your question?' She felt him rake frustrated fingers through his hair, his groaned, 'God, don't ask me to be more explicit or I might just show you,' shivering against her skin, provoking a reaction that committed her to a path from which there would be no turning back as she pressed herself against him, winding her arms round his neck, her lips teasing tiny kisses against his throat as she whispered encouragingly, 'Yes, please,. Nico,' and felt, not without a tremor of reaction, the explosively expressive exhalation of breath fanning her hair before she was rolled over on to her back, the cool night air shafting across her skin, raising goosebumps as Nico got up.
For a moment she thought he was going to leave her, and tension coiled through her as she braced her body against rejection. But in the moonlight she saw that he was merely removing his jeans. He had his back to her, and she caught her breath, remembering how she had seen him after his swim in the river, and her eyes widened in startled appreciation of the total maleness of him, so that when he turned she was watching him with unashamed curiosity.
Instead of joining her on the bed, he dropped down at her side, his face hidden from her as he ran his hand gently along her body, and then again with greater urgency.
'Don't blame me if this doesn't turn out to be the way you've always imagined,' he warned her brutally. 'First times aren't necessarily good times.'
But it wasn't just her 'first time', it was going to be the only time, Saffron thought achingly, and then there was no room for thought as Nico's mouth followed the path taken by his hand, and she was trembling and arching against him, welcoming the bruising hardness of his body as he joined her on the bed, holding her against him while he plundered the moist sweetness of her mouth until she was dizzy and bemused by the sudden explosion of passion between them.
'Saffron!'
Her name jerked past his lips and she felt the sudden tensing of his body, as his mouth left the warm curve of her breast and possessed hers with the same hard determination with which he parted her thighs and slid heavily between them.
Panic flared and she fought to subdue it, but his hold on her wasn't relaxing, and neither was the pressure of his mouth. His hands had left breasts to hold and mould her hips as she arched feverishly against him, possessed by the same urgency she could feel emanating from him.
There was swift and agonising pain from which she recoiled instinctively, but the hard male hands refused to release her hips and she moaned in protest beneath the assault of his mouth, desire fleeing in the face of pain and panic.
It was over almost before it had begun, leaving her aching and restless, quivering with reaction to something she was not going to admit had in any way failed to live up to her expectations.
Unfortunately Nico didn't seem to share her reticence.
'Not quite the world-shattering experience you'd imagined?' he asked dryly. 'I did try to warn you. Never mind,' he mocked tersely, 'it will be different next time.'
'What next time?' she wanted to demand, but she was too tired, too defeated and depressed. Her eyes started to close and she neither knew nor cared that she was still lying naked in Nico's arms, the warmth of his body her only covering.
She woke during the night, escaping from the talons of a nightmare, Nico's voice reaching her out of the darkness, bringing her abruptly awake.
'It's all right,' he told her. 'It's only a nightmare. Guido isn't here. Or have I taken his place?'
She didn't pretend to misunderstand. Her body felt curiously light and fluid, and she flushed, remembering how earlier she had pleaded with him to make love to her. He had been right, the experience had not been what she had expected.
'You did warn me,' she admitted evenly.
'But you still expected to feel the earth move?' There was amusement in the words, firing fresh indignation as she grew accustomed to the dark and searched his face.
'Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've heard that it can, given the right circumstances and the right man. And anyway, it will never be as bad as that again, unless you make the mistake of choosing either a clumsy or inexperienced lover.'
'How would I do that?' she retorted bitterly. 'Olivia will never let me leave here alive—you know that.'
'And that was why you wanted me to make love to you?'
'Not entirely.' She had to be honest. 'It was so many things; Guido ...' she shuddered. 'I couldn't bear only to be able to remember how I felt when he touched me, and…'