Devoted to You

Aidan waited until he heard the soft click of the door closing behind her then opened his eyes. He had planned to discuss the future with her but couldn’t be entirely sure what that entailed until he had given it a bit more thought. By nature, he was a planner; someone who rarely took risks and always tackled everything in life with a good battle plan. If he didn’t get the chance to mull problems over first, then he didn’t deal with them, it was as simple as that, and Petal was one massive problem.

First and foremost of all of his problems was that she now most definitely had to be a permanent fixture in his life. He knew that the only option was marriage, but first had to deal with the irascible Edwards, break the news to his brother, and send the dowager on her way.

Before all of that, though, he had to decide how best to broach the subject of marriage with Petal. He couldn’t just assume that she would be happy to marry him. Although he could provide her with whatever he wanted, he knew this wouldn’t sway her. Petal was the least conniving and mercenary person he knew. She didn’t have a calculating bone in her body. There was just something too forthright; too honest about her. She wasn’t manipulative either. Like Jerry had said, he had to consider her position within the house would she want to leave it and join him upstairs.

That left him with the rather sticky situation to deal with; the time between when he asked her to marry him and the actual wedding. He didn’t want any fiancé of his working below-stairs. Nor could he move her upstairs unmarried without tarnishing her name.

Last night, unsurprisingly, Petal had been untried. He had made no attempt to take precautions to prevent a child, so she had little choice in whether she married him or not. In spite of that, he didn’t want her to feel forced into marriage any more than he wanted to be forced into marriage by the dowager. He wanted Petal to want him, the man. He didn’t want her to see marrying him as the solution to her problems. And, right now, there was one huge problem. He wanted her to share his bed, as often as possible, and wasn’t prepared to wait several weeks until matters were settled and a wedding could take place. However, each night they shared they risked getting caught by Rollo, or the other upstairs maid, Aggy, or even Edwards. Not only that, but in the several weeks before a wedding could take place, she could find herself with child. He didn’t mind that. Not if it hastened things along a little. However, he didn’t want any scurrilous gossip to start if people did their sums and the dates didn’t add up.

“Now that would cause problems,” Aidan muttered in disgust.

Rubbing a weary hand down his face, Aidan yawned widely and wished his brother was there. Jerry always seemed to know what to say, and do, in times of crisis. Although he didn’t always have the answers, did sometimes point him in the right direction. Right now, as much help as Jerry could give him was essential because he felt as though he was walking around in a fog, and this time it had nothing to do with any medication.

“One thing is for damned sure,” he murmured aloud. “We cannot wait for several weeks for a wedding just in case she is with child already.”

Strangely, that prospect was incredibly thrilling. Aidan found himself smiling as he studied the landscape out of the window while he contemplated just how many children he wanted. As long as they had Petal’s smile and her sunny disposition he didn’t really care whether they were boys or girls.

Minutes later, Aidan fell asleep with the mental image of a babe in arms with her brilliant eyes, and his dimples still curving his lips.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Later that day, Petal yawned widely as she gathered the tea things together. It was all she seemed to do of late; fetch and carry trays; wash pots and stack them.

She had received word from Aggy that the master had rung for her. It was the first time he had sent for anything all day and she had started to worry about the amount of time he had gone without ringing the bell.

Is he avoiding me? She quickly blanked that thought out and turned her attention to her friend.

“Are you feeling better now?” she asked Aggy.

“My stomach is protesting a bit but I can hold out, I think,” Aggy replied miserably.

“Don’t push yourself so,” Petal warned.

The mysterious illness that had swept through the servants had taken half of them off their duties. While it didn’t really matter for one day, it was a situation that left the remaining staff picking up as much as they could and ran everybody ragged. Now that Mrs Kempton was also out of action, the maids were left to create meals out of the foodstuffs she had already prepared.

“The master wants his tea,” Rollo announced as he entered the kitchen.

“I am going,” Petal replied somewhat nervously.

Minutes later, she nudged her way into the room only to stop when she was immediately pinned beneath the dowager’s hawkish glare.

“Put them on the table over there,” she ordered briskly in a voice that made it clear how little she favoured servants.

Cheeks flushing with embarrassment and guilt, Petal turned her attention to her duties and tried valiantly to ignore the blossoming hurt in her heart. She poured the tea with a shaking hand and handed it out, followed by milk and sugar. It galled her to have to serve Edwards as well, but unless she snubbed the woman there was little she could do.

When she handed Aidan his cup, she risked a glance at him, but he was studying the dowager and didn’t appear to notice Petal was even there. His snub hurt more than anything she had ever experienced in her life. In that moment she felt cheap, sordid, and incredibly used.

“That will be all,” Edwards declared coldly.

The proprietary way she added sugar to Aidan’s cup was not missed by Petal, who battled tears when he merely murmured his thanks. He simply continued to listen to his mother extol the virtues of people Petal had never even heard of. They were all Lord this, or Lady that; people far beyond her rather small group of friends and colleagues. She didn’t know any of names, but they were all etched into her soul by the time she let herself out of the room. Each name added a wall of impenetrable distance between her and Aidan that made their assignation last night seem soul-wrenchingly the worst mistake of her life.

By the time she reached the door, tears had gathered on her lashes but she daren't let them fall for fear of revealing a weakness to Edwards that the woman could prey upon.

“Before you go, Petal, the chamber pot needs emptying,” Edwards drawled mockingly.

Petal closed her eyes for a moment and quietly disappeared behind the retiring screen. Although everything within her was telling her not to, she glanced over at Aidan, but he was studying his teacup as though there was something intriguing about it.

As she picked the chamber pot off the floor, her thoughts turned to the somewhat intimate embrace she had caught him in the other week with Edwards, and her confusion began to grow. Had she misread him completely? He was certainly reluctant to even acknowledge her now that he was with his family. While she hadn’t expected any outward displays of affection, she hadn’t anticipated being so blatantly ignored by him either. Not even their earlier friendliness was evident.