“Nor do I think it is appropriate for you to be in my room. You should go.” She glanced around the chamber. “Where is my father?”
“He is busy at the moment. I can take you to him if you like?” Aidan replied, making no attempt to get off the bed.
“Could you please leave?” She asked desperately, eager for him not to see her shed the tears she could barely contain. After spending so much time lost in misery before she didn’t think she had any tears left. But she knew she was going to start to cry again if he didn’t leave.
He looked so incredibly handsome and debonair that she felt a veritable gulf open up between them. This was increased further still when she eyed his clothing. The very expensive cut of his shirt alone must have cost an entire year of her wages. To her utter heartbreak, it seemed to set him even further apart from her. Her own rather bedraggled state was highlighted by the fact that her hair hadn’t seen a brush for several hours and now lay in limp strands around her shoulders. Even the dress she wore, although clean, was cheap and serviceable, and crumpled from having been slept in.
“Please, just go,” she pleaded.
In contrast to his neatly turned out state, she knew she looked a mess.
“Why?” Aidan challenged.
He wondered if she had any idea just how expressive her face was. While he had been watching her, he had witnessed despair, pain, and determination she couldn’t quite hide.
“You have seen me in bed many, many times,” he reminded her.
He knew for definite then that she had seen Edwards in his bed this morning and was incredibly hurt by what she had witnessed. While it made him inordinately angry with the scheming nurse, he was also extremely pleased that Petal cared enough about him to be so distraught. It proved that she cared deeply about him too.
“Yes, but I am – was – your servant. How could I not see you in your bed chamber when you were confined to bed? However, you are not my servant. You shouldn’t be in here,” she whispered.
“Why not? I am your lover,” he replied, making himself comfortable.
“No, you are not. You are Edwards’ lover,” she challenged, her voice laden with hurt.
He looked at her square in the eye. “Are you sure?” he murmured gently.
“Pardon?”
Her heart fluttered at the intent look in his eye. She wondered if she had missed something over the last couple of minutes. Had sleep muddled her brain?
He cupped her cheek with a gentle palm. “You look so pale. Are you not well?”
His tender concern was too much for Petal, whose heart tightened painfully in her chest. She promptly burst into tears.
Aidan immediately gathered her into his arms. Tugging her around to face him, he dragged the covers around them both and held her close while she wept into his shoulder.
“It will be alright,” he murmured gently when the worst of her tears had subsided.
“How can it be? You don’t understand,” she whispered with a sniff. “You shouldn’t be here.”
Just lying like this with him was wonderful. His affection was more than she had ever expected to witness or feel again, and it was as tormenting as it was sublime.
“Oh, I do,” he said fervently. “Believe me, when I tell you that I truly do understand your pain.”
“How can you?” She had never told another living soul how much he meant to her; how much it had torn her life apart to see him with Edwards.
While she had worked at the house, she would have done anything he asked of her. Even now, he was the entire focus of her world. He had become such an integral part of her everyday life that she wasn’t quite sure what to do without him. It had been her job to serve him, to be at his beck and call, and ensure that he had whatever he wanted, or needed. However, although she had been at the house for only a few weeks, that ability to serve him had swiftly turned into a need to help him. And she had; with a devotion that went far beyond even the most dedicated servant.
“Believe it or not, I am not the kind of man who usually beds his servants.”
“I didn’t suggest you were,” she countered.
“But I have,” he replied frankly as he looked deeply into her eyes. “You and I both know that what we have is more than the average master and servant relationship. Have you not stopped to ask yourself why we came together in the first place?”
In truth, she hadn’t.
“You are not all that much younger than me. You are beautiful; intelligent; good-natured; and I find your excellent company.” He sighed and studied the wall opposite for a moment. “All of my life, I have fought social strictures and other people’s expectations. As the second son of a lord, I have always been expected to do this and expect that in life. Moreover, that I should think of the family name, consider the connections, and all of that. But there has never really been any consideration for what I want. Nobody has bothered about who I am. Jerry has found himself in the same boat.”