Wishing for Rainbows

“Well, I am afraid that the time has now come for me to do something about the matter myself seeing as you don’t seem so inclined.”

Ursula went cold. “Do something about it yourself?” she repeated. Another frown marred her perfect brow. “Do you intend to marry one of them then?”

“Don’t be so impertinent,” Jeremiah snapped. “If you don’t go out, you won’t find a husband, and he won’t find you. I have therefore decided that you should go and live with your aunt in London for a month. In that time, I suggest you choose someone yourself, or I shall select a husband for you upon your return.”

She stared at him. The wild urge to laugh almost escaped her until she realised he was being serious. Her alarm grew at the determined look in his eye. Not least because this time there was something different in that steady regard; something colder and more calculating that she had never seen before. It worried her, because it left her feeling a little unsteady; like something had changed permanently, and she would never be able to change it back again.

“Have I displeased you somehow, papa?” Ursula asked cautiously.

“Other than refuse to find a husband at four and twenty years old, you mean?” Jeremiah snapped.

“When do I leave?” she sighed expecting her father to tell her that the arrangements had yet to be made. If she had two weeks at home still she could wait for her father to calm down and then talk him out of his determination to get rid of her. To her consternation, he picked up a piece of parchment from his desk and looked at it. The heavy scent of roses that wafted through the air told her who it was from before she even read the scrawling writing; Aunt Adelaide.

“Tomorrow morning,” her father declared, ignoring her shocked gasp. “I will increase your stipend so that you might purchase everything you need. As I have said, I am giving you one month to find yourself a husband. I expect to receive an offer from an eligible suitor by then, or I shall accept the offer I have already received for you. One month, Ursula. That’s my final decision on the matter.”

“You have already received an offer for me?” The urge to rant and rave at the unfairness of his draconian order was so strong that she trembled against the need to remain still.

“Yes,” Jeremiah nodded. “It is from a perfectly eligible gentleman. You will do well with him, I don’t doubt.”

She stared at her father in horror. The only thought that ran through her mind was that there was no time to wait for him to calm down. She had never seen him like this; so determined; so forthright; so immovable. Frozen, she stared at him in stunned disbelief, unable to absorb this change in her future. It felt as though the rug had been yanked out from beneath her and she was stumbling around trying to regain her balance. What was she to say? To do? What could she say or do? When she couldn’t get her whirling thoughts to settle enough to think clearly, she realised that she had to get out of there. Once she had cleared her head, she could decide how best to handle the situation given the little time she had left.

Sucking in a deep breath she turned a dark glare on her father.

“Is that all?” she asked in a voice that was stiff and formal, and so very unlike her usual tone that it made Jeremiah look at her closely.

“Yes.” Her father stared at her a little hesitantly, as though he now wasn’t entirely sure he had made the right decision.

Unsure what she should say, she rose and stumbled toward the door, determined not to let her panic show. Aware of the thickening silence behind her she straightened her shoulders and yanked the door open.

“Ursula?”

She paused in the doorway to hear what else he had to say. In that moment she couldn’t bring herself to speak to him. His dictates felt like a smack across the face and it smarted. To urge her to go out and about and experience life was one thing. To force her into marriage, even if she had the choice of whom she married, was something she had never expected from her father. She hadn’t realised just how much her failure to accept the thought of matrimony had bothered him before. Now, the determined look on his face told her that it was already too late to discuss it with him. His mind had been made up, and there was little she could do to get him to change it.

“Don’t you want to know who the suitor is?” His voice was reconciliatory, but had little impact on Ursula.

“No.” For the first time in her entire life she glared at her sire in defiance. “I don’t care who he is because I won’t be marrying him.” She closed the door behind her before he could say anything else.

By the time she reached her bedroom she wanted to scream. When she saw Edwina, the maid, already packing her belongings, she wanted to rant and rave at the unfairness of it all, but she didn’t. Blinking away the salty sting of tears, she sucked in a deep breath and tried to ignore the rising panic that settled heavily over her shoulders. Rather than help, she moved to the window and stared blankly across the valley. She had spent many hours in her bedroom staring at the huge mansion, daydreaming about that certain somebody who had, even without knowing, put her life on hold. She would rather have her teeth pulled out than admit to anyone that no man she had met at any of the social occasions she had attended had ever come close to attracting her like Trenton Calderhill did.

He was the very epitome of everything she could ever want in a husband. As the third son of the local Lord, Trenton was gentry. He was now Viscount Atherbury, and had his own modest estate twenty miles away. Although he was now four and thirty, to Ursula, he would always be the handsome young man whose affable good humour was charm personified. Even though she had only spent short periods of time in his company, she knew, she just knew that if he got to know her he too would feel the attraction between them she found impossible to ignore.

“You are wishing for rainbows, Ursula. It’s time to get over him,” she whispered quietly as she turned away from the window.

“What’s that?” Edwina asked absently as she hurried to the dresser for another armful o

f clothing.

Ursula sighed and threw one last look at Hoghampton. She knew her pipe dreams had been nothing but girlish fantasies. The stark reality was that someone as debonair, wealthy, and handsome as Trenton, wouldn’t look twice at a mousy country miss like Ursula. Besides, she had heard he was engaged to a beautiful young woman called Barbarella somebody or other in London. According to the locals, the wedding was scheduled to take place at Christmas at Hoghampton.

“Maybe Adelaide’s is a good idea after all,” she mused thoughtfully as she studied the half-packed trunks. Christmas was only a few weeks away. With Adelaide’s support, she could hopefully remain in London until the New Year, and wouldn’t be around to have to watch Trenton marry someone else right on her own doorstep.

“Do you want to go?” Edwina asked cautiously.

Ursula looked at her and thought about that for a moment. Maybe it was a good idea to get away from the area for a while. If she didn’t have to see Hoghampton then she didn’t have to think about Trenton, or his forthcoming marriage. She could get on with her life and decide what she wanted to do with it.

One thing was for certain; her life would never include marriage.

“Would you like me to pack these, Miss Ursula?” Edwina asked as she tucked a handful of undergarments into a trunk and held up two of Ursula’s newest shawls.