Ursula knew she was looking at the people they were discussing but didn’t want to look at them. She didn’t want to see just how much he had betrayed her again.
“Why would he lie about going out tonight? He told me he had business to conduct,” she said somewhat peevishly. He never said that the business was another woman.
“He probably didn’t want to hurt your feelings. After all, he could hardly tell you that he was going to take Serena to the theatre, now could he?”
Ursula wondered if he would have told her he had taken Serena anywhere and rather suspected that he wouldn’t. If there was one thing Trenton apparently liked to do it was keep a secret.
What should she do now though? She could hardly challenge him because he hadn’t made her any promises. He had fulfilled his obligation to take her to the picnic,
albeit he was late and distracted at first, but he had turned up. There was no reason why he should call to see her again at all. He had made no offers for her and had not done anything publically that would damage her reputation. He was perfectly able to see who he chose.
But he has ruined you, a small voice reminded her. Several times in fact, and you let him.
“Try not to let it ruin your evening,” Adelaide warned. “There is most probably a perfectly reasonable explanation.”
Ursula snorted. “Yes, he is a liar,” she declared flatly. “I don’t care what he does. I hope I shall never see him again.”
“You care for him, don’t you?”
Ursula hesitated. She wanted to lie and deny it, but if she did then her aunt wouldn’t understand her aversion to meeting with him again. Besides, Adelaide had already done so much for her that Ursula couldn’t bring herself to be dishonest. She nodded slowly.
“I always have in a way. Even from childhood, I knew I was wishing for rainbows expecting him to notice me. I am not connected to anyone other than you, and living in Yorkshire that doesn’t really count for much. Now that I have met him, and gotten to know him, he is better than I had ever dreamt he could be. Or I thought he was.” She glanced across the theatre one last time. “It appears I was wrong. My ridiculous childish infatuation with him should never have been acknowledged. It should have remained in Yorkshire with the memories.”
She jumped when Adelaide’s hand settled comfortingly over hers. She gave her aunt a quivering smile to assure her that everything was alright, but tears loomed anyway at the sympathy in the older woman’s gaze.
“Love can be a very strange creature at times. It brings out the best and the worst in people. It can render some people useless to fight their desires while in others it makes them stronger and more capable. Those who argue they don’t acknowledge it are the weakest, if you ask me. Unfortunately, the majority of the ton don’t marry for love. These people focus their entire lives around money, connections and titles. Those with the most go the furthest. It is as simple as that. Someone like Trenton will have been raised as a young boy to marry someone of his ilk and not settle for anyone less. Serena is Lady Inglemere.”
“Someone of his ilk,” she whispered, feeling more betrayed than ever.
“Don’t feel so bad, Ursula. Someone who doesn’t have the wisdom to see the woman you are and appreciate you doesn’t deserve you. There will be someone somewhere along the way for you, I have no doubt. I have to say that am surprised at Trenton. I had hoped he would be more estimable than that. Even I had the impression that he was keen on you. It appears that I was wrong.” Adelaide’s voice changed from being soft and sympathetic to one that was harsh and filled with disgust.
It barely penetrated the thick fog of misery that had settled over Ursula, who was lost to her misery. Aware that the theatre was now full, she took one last look at him. Her heart lurched when she realised he was staring straight at her. She stared back, but was thankfully prevented from having to acknowledge him by the dimming of the lights.
“I won’t ask you here, my dear, but I think you had better be entirely honest about exactly what has happened between you and Trenton Calderhill,” Adelaide declared as soon as they were encased in darkness. “I won’t settle for anything less than the full truth. Then we can decide how best to handle the situation.”
Ursula closed her eyes and realised then just how thorough her fall from grace was.
“This is awful,” Adelaide whispered half an hour later and shared a rueful look with her niece through the darkness.
Ursula swiped the tears off her face and shook her head. “You were told that it was,” she challenged.
Now that her initial hurt had started to fade, anger had replaced it. She was furious with Trenton for his deceit, and wished now she had probed a bit deeper into the business activities he had mentioned. No wonder he had been so secretive about things; clearly he had matters he wished to hide.
Still, if there was one bright side to all of this, it reconfirmed her belief that she should never just hand her future over to a husband, no matter how good his connections were. Men were deceitful; it was as simple as that. If she ever doubted it, she only had to look at Brompton and Alfred Sinnerton’s behaviour. She wouldn’t trust them either.
“Are you ready to go, my dear?”
“Yes, please,” Ursula declared fervently. She had no idea what the play was about because she hadn’t paid the slightest bit of attention to what had been happening on the stage. She was, however, awkwardly aware that he continued to stare at her throughout the entire play. It was a relief when she was able to leave the box and turn away from the prying eyes and leave the theatre behind.
“I don’t want to know details, but you have been intimate, haven’t you?”
Ursula gasped and stared at her aunt across the dim confines of the carriage. Her cheeks blushed guiltily butt she couldn’t deny it. Instead, she jerked her head up and down and let the tears flow.
“I am not as ignorant to what goes on as you might think,” Adelaide murmured. “I have never married purely because I haven’t found anyone within the ton appealing enough to want to share my life. However, I am a woman, and will admit to you now, strictly between us, that I have dallied with men on several occasions. Trenton is a handsome man. You are an impressionable young woman, entirely eligible, but someone who is new to the heady social whirl of London.” She sighed and stared out of the window for a moment. “I am partly to blame for what has happened.” She held a hand up to halt Ursula’s instinctive protest and shook her head decisively. “I trusted Trenton. I felt that he would understand just how alien this kind of life is to someone unused to the sights and sounds of London. Especially given that he is from Yorkshire too. I had heard the gossip regarding Barbarella; everyone has, but felt relatively confident that you were safe with him. I had hoped that he would introduce you to some of his acquaintances and further your quest to find a husband as per your father’s dictates. However, it appears that my trust was misplaced. He took advantage of you himself instead. Now, I cannot help but think that the gossip surrounding him and Barbarella might be true.”
“I should have gotten to know him a little more,” Ursula whispered. “I felt that I could trust him. He is the son of the local Lord. Gentry. I shouldn’t have allowed matters to progress the way they have. It’s my fault.”
They lapsed into silence until they reached home, where they took a seat in the private parlour.