Hopeless Heart

“Maybe I should try living in a town for a while? A larger place where people are less likely to watch each other all the time,” she murmured. “If only I knew where.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Across the village, Will stared out at the empty road and contemplated how similar it was to his life. It led this way and that but neither took him in a direction he wanted to go. He was still reeling from Georgiana’s drunkenness last night, and what they had shared. It had gone considerably further than he had anticipated and had shaken him to his core, haunting his dreams and leaving him restless and on edge.

Strangely, he didn’t regret a single moment of it. He just wished the circumstances surrounding what happened had been different. He should have waited for her to sober up a bit more because he wanted her to want him knowingly and not be driven to sharing her body by the alcohol. But it was too late to go back now. Everything had changed because of what had happened. It was too late to go back.

Unfortunately, before he could take matters further with Georgiana, he needed to find out if he was engaged or not. While he hadn’t offered for Penelope Smedgrove, he had no idea what kind of arrangement his parents had committed him to in his absence. Several weeks ago he had, in a fit of fury, told his mother to arrange a bloody wedding if she wanted one and he would go through with one just to shut her up. He could distinctly recall telling her that if she was going to continue to push for him to marry she may as well go the whole way and condemn him to matrimony to Penelope Smedgrove. He had left the house when she had looked joyful at the notion, and been horrified when she had informed him of Cecily’s excitement upon hearing the news. Whenever he had tried to talk to her after that, she had promptly vanished and had refused to discuss backing out. Now he had to push to get his father to renege on whatever agreement he had arranged with the Smedgrove family.

“God, what a mess,” he sighed in disgust, and now wished he had put his foot down before he had left.

He knew his mother well enough to realise that she would indeed forge ahead with a union and put the suggestion there with Penelope’s family if she had a mind to even before any formal arrangement was put there between the heads of the families. It would be up to him then to either suffer his way through a union he didn’t want, or set the hopeful bride down without offending anyone. Either way there was a considerable amount of

trouble waiting for him now when he got home.

The more he contemplated his actions of late, the more he realised that if he did marry Penelope Smedgrove, he would be accepting a marriage very much like his parent’s. While they were happy in their own way, there wasn’t the personal warmth between his mother and father that he had with Georgiana. He had never witnessed much in the way of outward displays of affection. In fact, he had never seen his father kiss his mother. While tactile displays of affection weren’t commonplace amongst polite company, he hadn’t even seen them embracing in the comfort and privacy of their own home. In fact, it was rare to find his mother and father in the same room as each other.

“That’s not for me,” he muttered. “Not at all.”

He didn’t consider himself a very tactile man either, but he wasn’t so staid and boring that he was prepared to greet his wife with a handshake every morning.

“I should just damned well marry Georgiana instead,” he whispered with a sigh. Strangely, the more he contemplated that the more appealing the prospect became. It was a damned sight more attractive than marrying Penelope sodding Smedgrove.

“It is never too late,” his father had said mysteriously when Will had told him that he was going after Georgiana. Rather than ask what he had meant, Will had stormed out of the house, eager to leave his mother’s matrimonial ramblings behind him. He had ignored her calls for his help, wheeled his horse around, and left the foolishness far behind, eager to be on his way and free of the chains that were being carefully woven around him.

Now that he was far away, he didn’t want to go back.

“Good Lord, how much worse can this get?” he murmured aloud.

A knock on the door broke him out of his musings.

“Come.” He read the note the maid handed to him and quickly shrugged into his jacket as he bounded down the stairs.

“Is it Georgiana? Where is she? What’s happened?” he demanded as he stalked into the private room at the back of the tavern Ruth was waiting in.

At first, Ruth looked perplexed, but then thoughtful as she bobbed into a curtsey and took the seat Will waved her to.

“Georgiana is fine,” Ruth began hesitantly, a little surprised by the ferocity of his concern for her niece. She watched curiously as he immediately settled upon hearing her reassurance that Georgiana was fine but continued to glare at her as though he didn’t quite believe she was telling the truth. It still didn’t dissuade her from what she was there to do. In fact, after what she had just witnessed she was rather intrigued to know see how he would react.

Will sat down opposite her and pierced her with a probing stare. “You don’t sound too sure.”

Ruth quickly explained what the farmer had witnessed and the dire implications for all if he was seen near the house again. While she felt guilty at embellishing the severity of the situation, she didn’t have any qualms about what she was doing. On this occasion it was necessary to stir the pot, as it were, if only to see how placidly Will took her instruction to stay away from the young woman she began to suspect he was in love with.

Unsurprisingly, she saw the protest in his eyes before he even uttered a word.

“I have to say that I was surprised when I found her in her cups,” Will admitted, his tone warning her that he wasn’t at all pleased that she had been in such an inebriated state in the first place.

“I am not all that comfortable with the fact that you were in the house with her unchaperoned,” Ruth replied flatly. “Polite conversation on the street in broad daylight is fair enough. There are plenty of people around to make sure that nothing untoward happens. However, to go to her home and stay there for several hours throughout the night puts her reputation at risk.” She lowered her voice to a low whisper just in case any of the maids were listening, but her tone lost none of its anger.

“I apologise for my indiscretion,” Will replied bluntly. “I make no apology for calling at the house. I have to confess that her recent behaviour has caused me concern. I have never known such change in her as I have seen here. It is alarming.” He then set about describing her recent forays into adventure, which didn’t seem to have any effect on the woman seated opposite him at all.

“Are you not concerned?” He made his displeasure known by scowling deeply at the woman.

Like Georgiana, Ruth took this as a challenge and squared her shoulders at the same time that she lifted one querulous brow and pierced him with a supercilious glare not all that dissimilar to something his own mother would use.

“I fully endorse Georgiana being herself. While I agree with you that her conduct is unbecoming of someone of her social status she was at home where she was safe and away from prying eyes.” She looked him square in the eye. “After all, I am sure you will agree that there are certain things that happen behind closed doors that should stay private.”

Will suspected then that Georgiana had told her aunt what had happened between them last night.