Hopeless Heart

“What? Henry has a carriage?”

“Yes, my dear. He caught the post chaise the other day because he didn’t want to drive all the way from his son’s house. His own conveyance is rather old, but it is still perfectly serviceable. It would be best for you to take a day or two away from the village.”

“If you are sure,” Georgiana mused. Now that she understood Ruth’s plans she fully supported the idea to take a few days away. “I confess I have never stayed in a hotel before.”

“What about when you had your season in London?” Ruth asked.

“Oh, Papa paid rent on a house for a few months. It all worked out quite well, and gave Mama the opportunity to host a few parties of her own, in spite of Papa moaning about the expense all the time.” She threw Ruth a rueful grimace. “Papa was secretly relieved when I said I didn’t want to have another turn in London, although Cecily objected vociferously.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Ruth murmured without malice. “So go and enjoy a stay in a hotel. Add it to the list of adventures and take it as a small holiday of sorts. A day or two away will give you the time and peace you need to make your mind up about both Will and Simeon,” Ruth advised.

“I don’t really have any choice about Will,” Georgiana replied, making no attempt to hide her sadness.

“What about Simeon?” Ruth asked with a frown.

Once again, Georgiana sensed her aunt had concerns about him too. “I like him but there is something about him that troubles me.”

Ruth nodded, completely unsurprised. “You should proceed with caution there. Being absent tomorrow morning when he calls again is probably the best thing for you both. While you are gone, consider what you want to do about him. If you don’t wish to encourage his affections you really ought to distance yourself.”

“That means no more curricle driving,” Georgiana said quietly.

Ruth agreed. “No more curricle driving.”

Georgiana nodded. Her gaze was drawn to the window. Her eyes widened when she saw a large, aged carriage rumble to a stop outside of the gate.

“Er?”

“That’s Mr Parker. Quick, go and pack,” Ruth urged as she jumped out of her chair and hurried to the door. Sensing Georgiana’s hesitation she paused in the doorway and looked back at her. “Hurry! There is no time like the present. It is only for a few days. I have to go and sit with Mrs Merriweather again because she is still poorly so you may as well go and enjoy yourself in a hotel now while Mr Parker can take you there.”

Georgiana did as she was told. As she climbed the stairs she realised why her aunt was so insistent she leave now. Ruth needed to return to Mrs Merriweather’s house and, given what had happened the last time she had left Georgiana alone in the house, wanted her gone. The prospect that her aunt didn’t trust her to be by herself was disappointing, and she resolved right there and then to do everything possible to restore her aunt’s faith in her.

An hour later, Georgiana sat inside Henry’s carriage with the vague impression that she was being spirited away. It was worrying and a little thrilling, not least because there was an air of secrecy about what she was doing which added to her little adventure. If she was honest, Georgiana was a little relieved that she wasn’t going to be alone in the house again, not least because it was incredibly boring living by herself. There was nobody to talk to, to share things with. There was no other physical being to take away the loneliness.

“Penny for them?” Henry prompted when he realised how quiet she was.

Georgiana looked at him. “I am just mulling over how much I have changed since being here.”

“Oh? How so?”

It helped Georgiana that Henry had to keep his attention on the road. It rendered her capable of saying what she wanted to say without fear of embarrassment.

“Before I got here, I had hoped I might just stay with my aunt for a few weeks.”

“Before you went home,” Henry added when she fell silent.

“No. I didn’t plan to stay with my aunt for long because it doesn’t seem fair on her. I intended to buy a home of my own,” she replied.

“And now you don’t?”

“I am not sure,” she said with a sigh. “I have just realised how much I have changed. It has only been a few weeks but already, looking back on my life in Cranbury feels like I am looking back on the life of a completely different person. I am not the same was I was the day I left.”

“You have spread your wings and started to learn who you are,” Henry replied with a knowing smile.

Georgiana nodded. He was right. She had grown up, taken control of her life, and was now dealing with the difficulties it brought her, albeit with her aunt’s help. Will and Simeon were effectively nothing more than teething troubles. She knew they were both men who would move on in time, and would take their troubles with them. It was down to Georgiana to make sure she never made the same mistakes again as she had with either man.

Not only that, but a few weeks ago she wanted to throw herself headlong into her list of adventures, and would have done so recklessly. Now, she had no intention of making life harder for herself by willingly causing a scandal. She realised she needed to be discrete and was prepared to wait for the right opportunity to present itself.

Three weeks ago you would have done anything to encourage Will’s affections; for him to see you as a young woman. Now you don’t want him around you if he doesn’t appreciate you for who you are, she mused with a quiet sense.