“Just consider how close you came to total destruction with Simeon. While you acted in good faith, you have to understand that there will be people–men–who will take advantage of your youth,” Will replied.
“Because I am too stupid and naive to understand how the world works,” Georgiana finished for him, a hint of cynicism in her voice.
“I am just saying that you need someone to watch over you,” Will said.
“No, I don’t,” Georgiana replied. “I am perfectly capable of looking after myself. Why do you not see that? I had no idea Simeon is dangerous. How could I? Ruth has been in this village for years and had no idea about what lay beneath the surface with him. If she doesn’t see him for what he is how on earth could I? That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t speak with people, or should stay inside where it is safe in case someone decides to be cruel. You won’t be happy until you have stuffed me back inside that box of a room at my parent’s house so they can dictate my life. You want to do that for you, not me. You are constantly telling me what to do and are continually trying to make me do what you want me to do. What I want doesn’t even feature in your world. I can’t live with that.”
“Alright then,” he murmured with a sigh.
Walking out of the door and leaving her behind, maybe to never see her again, was the hardest thing Will had ever had to do. But it was clear from the expression on her face that it had to happen.
“You are not coming with me then,” he tried one last time.
“I can’t,” she whispered, too choked with emotion to say anything else.
Will nodded. Everything within him was screaming at him to do something or say something to persuade her to stay with him, and at least try to live in Cranbury again.
“Maybe if I spoke with your parents, they would allow you to make a few more decisions for yourself,” he offered.
Georgiana shook her head. “You cannot ever make my mother change her ways,” she replied sadly. “You and I both know that. It is a waste of time trying to reason with someone like Cecily. It is best all round if I stay here.”
Will stepped toward her but then hesitated. If he held her he might do something foolhardy and rash like bed her just to ruin her so then she would have to marry him, and return to Cranbury.
“I am sorry, Georgiana,” he whispered.
He had no idea if he was apologising for having to leave her behind, or promising her hope for a future he couldn’t offer her right now. It had been the most foolish thing he had ever done to kiss her knowing he might be engaged to someone else. He had just created more problems and heartache, not just for himself b
ut for Georgiana too. He suspected that Georgiana cared about him, but he had no idea how much. Now he couldn’t ask her, and might never know for sure if she did or not.
“It is alright,” she whispered offering him a brave smile that belied the wounded look in her eye. “You need to go.”
He had to accept defeat. Will turned to the door. He suspected that the time he would have to be away sorting matters out in Cranbury would bring about a lot of changes for Georgiana. She would undoubtedly take her life by the horns and turn it into something she wanted. While he applauded her for that and silently willed her to do it, he was deeply worried that he might not have a place in the new life she forged for herself.
He yanked open the door and studied his horse waiting for him at the end of the path and hesitated. Once in the doorway he turned around and hauled her into his arms for one last kiss. He poured every ounce emotion into that kiss he couldn’t speak about, silently promising her everything while offering her nothing. Before she could do anything more than whimper, he released her and slammed out of the house.
The dull thud of the door closing behind him sounded like the death knell of his position in the life of the woman he had come to know and, he suspected, love. He hated it.
Georgiana listened to the clip-clop of his horses’ hooves fade into the distance and slumped dejectedly on the stairs. She stared blankly into space and allowed the numbness to slide over her. It was bearable, until she slid beneath the covers in bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. Whenever she tried to focus her thoughts on something other than Will, her mind went blank and all she could do was think of the ache in her heart. In the end, she gave in to pain and allowed the tears to fall.
Six weeks later
Georgiana swung on the seat beneath the huge oak tree at the end of Ruth’s garden. The gentle scent of baked pie and boiled potatoes wafted through the air toward her. Her stomach rumbled hungrily, but she remained outside, savouring the warm morning sunshine and gentle breeze on her cheeks.
She tipped her head back, studied the cotton-soft clouds high above her, and watched them glide past for several minutes. Eventually, her attention was drawn back down to the parchment in her hand.
The letter had only arrived this morning, but had immediately thrown the peace she had fought so hard to find over the last several weeks out of the window completely. She had shaken so much when she had broken the seal that it had taken an hour before she had been able to sit down and force herself to read its contents. Even then, Ruth had remained with her while she had read her father’s spidery scrawl.
While he didn’t condone the way she had left the house nearly three months ago now, he had to accept her decision to stay with her aunt, and of course would offer restitution to her aunt for the expense of having to accommodate her. He hoped that she would pay a visit, but would leave that to Georgiana to decide on. Until then he wished her the best and offered her his help should she need it.
The tone of the note could only be described as conciliatory. It had none of the sanctimonious scorn, or condemnation, she had expected. Nor did it have any mention of Cecily or Will in it, and for that she was eternally grateful. Not least because she was well aware that today was the day Will was marrying Penelope Smedgrove.
“Are you alright, Georgiana?” Ruth asked with a frown.
Georgiana looked at her sadly and nodded. There was nothing to say. Her aunt understood, and that was all that mattered right now. Words could not describe the tumultuous emotions that swirled through her, and it was a relief not to even have to try to think about the way she felt.
“Come on. Dinner is ready. Try to get something to eat. It will be alright, you will see,” Ruth said enthusiastically, but that enthusiasm dimmed when her eyes met Georgiana’s. There was a commiseration there that nearly brought Georgiana to tears. She had to look away, or she was going to cry.
“I have decided to buy Mrs Merriweather’s house,” she whispered.