“He barely tolerates the boys,” said Ev. “We’re his real favorites. Right, Sam?”
“You have seen straight through my carefully curated façade, Mrs. Ferris.”
“Welcome back to town, Martha.” Anne sat with a bottle of water in hand. We’d only crossed paths a time or two, but Lizzy’s sister and Mal’s wife seemed the exact opposite of his own loud and painfully in-your-face personality. The woman came across as quiet, thoughtful, bookish, things like that. So distinctly different to her slightly evil sister as well.
“Thank you.” I nodded stiffly, perched on the very end of the sofa. “Nice to be back.”
“I hear Gibby is loving having you there.”
“God, he is,” said Lizzy, shoving a glass of wine at me and mouthing the word “relax.”
I just gave her a dirty look. “Aunty Martha is even more popular than the Super Puppies right now.”
“Please don’t mention those fucking dogs.” Lena sighed. “The girls want the show on around the clock. It’s driving us insane.”
“Shall I sing you the special super puppy friend’s amazing song?” Lizzy opened her mouth in a clear and present threat.
“Depends. Is this your way of begging for the sweet relief of death?”
“I’ll hold her down for you,” I offered.
“You’re on.” Lena leaned across the couch, tapping her bottle of beer against my glass. “Don’t do it, Liz. You’re facing both a mother and a nanny on the edge due to those cute little do-good mongrels.”
Liz just smiled. “Yeah, I hate them too.”
“It’s that bad?” asked Anne, nose wrinkled.
“Just wait. Little kids fixate worse than serial killers.”
Anne’s eyes widened.
“Remember when we couldn’t find Mister Elephant so he refused to sleep for two days?” Liz shook her head. “I can still hear the pitiful wails and glass-shattering screams echoing in my head.”
“Kids are the best,” confirmed Lena.
“You can’t even imagine the love you’re capable of until you have your own child.”
“Because Lord knows, they will test you.”
Liz and Lena raised their drinks in toast to each other. And having now spent quality time around small children, I sympathized. I really did. But I also kept glancing at Evelyn, relaxing with a beer. Good God, this was awkward. If they were waiting for me to relax, I might as well just stick a straw in one of the bottles of wine and start drinking. Because that’s what it would take. After this, Lizzy wasn’t even getting coal for Christmas. Broccoli maybe. Or no, a despicably ugly outfit which I would pretend to be all excited about and insist on her wearing somewhere public. Not a bad idea.
“So,” said Ev. “Whose life do we dissect first?”
Anne grinned. “Yes! Give me the gossip, ladies.”
“Martha has news.” Faintly malicious delight filled Lizzy’s eyes. “Martha’s been very busy.”
“You really do have a death wish,” I said, glancing tellingly at Sam. He, meanwhile, stared serenely out at nothing. Obviously ignoring the chatter entirely. Thank God. And I did feel better with him close, dammit.
“Leave Sam and Martha alone,” chided Ev. “You know what it’s like when you first get together…it’s special. They probably want to keep it to themselves.”
Lizzy rolled her eyes dramatically. “Puh-lease. You were straight on the phone to your bestie Lauren giving her all the juicy details when you and David finally got on with it. She told me.”
“Oh, I was not.”
“Liar. Spill it, Martha.”
Ev shook her head. “Liz, she feels uncomfortable enough just being here.”