The Rhythm Method (Stage Dive 4.80)

“Got another lecture for me?” he asked sullenly.

“Nope.”

He scoffed. “That’d be a change. Jimmy’s been going off on me for the last fucking hour.”

I kept my mouth shut.

With half of his face covered, he looked at me. “Say something.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed. “You always know what to say. It’s like your specialty.”

“Okay,” I said. “How about, I don’t know what to say that won’t set you off again. And I see no point in having another argument or…I don’t know. Guess I already said everything I had to say this morning. Not that it helped.”

Hurt filled his gaze, but he said nothing.

From the monitor came a tiny wail. The baby was awake.

David flinched.

“I hate this. You and Jimmy fighting. You and me being all messed up.” A sob caught in my throat, and I wrapped my arms tight around myself. Tears streamed down my face. There was nothing I could do to stop them. I didn’t even try.

A stark expression crossed his face. “Ev.”

As much as I wanted to reach out and touch him, it didn’t feel safe. Not that I thought he’d physically hurt me. But there was a wall between us now. One I didn’t know how to begin to take down.

“Ev,” he said, voice tortured. “Please don’t cry.”

“I need you to fix it, David. Because you’re mine and I love you and you’re the only one who can fix it, all right?”

After a moment, he nodded. “All right.”

“Good. Okay. I’m gonna go check on our son.” And I got the hell out of there.

When I came back out, he was gone. Again.

* * * *

Lizzy arrived an hour later holding a cake. “Am I the first to arrive?”

“Huh?” I kept on burping the baby on my shoulder. “What’s going on?”

“You didn’t think we’d actually respect your privacy and leave you alone during this difficult time, did you?” She bustled on into the kitchen. “You know us better than that.”

“Jimmy told Lena,” I said, making the connection.

“He sure did. And then she told all of us.”

My shoulders sagged. “I’m not sure I’m very good company right now.”

She held out her hands. “Give me the baby.”

I handed him over.

“Hey there, little one,” said Lizzy. “Aren’t you just the cutest?”

I followed behind her as she strode on out to the living room and made herself at home. With my small child in tow. She stood over by the windows, rocking back and forth. And he gurgled happily. What a traitor. He’d screamed at me for the past half an hour for reasons known only to himself. Maybe in reaction to my bad mood. Parenthood was no joke.

“Did I ever tell you about the time I kicked Ben out of the house?” she asked, still making kissy faces at my son.

I settled into the corner of the sofa with an emotional support cushion in my lap. “No.”

“Oh, yeah. It was about…a year ago. Give or take.”

My eyebrows shot up.

She laughed quietly. “Did you think you were the only one experiencing the occasional relationship hiccup?”

“But you’re basically a qualified therapist.”

“Nearly,” she agreed. “And I still kick that man out on his ass when he is being an ass.”

I just blinked.

“It’s one of the reasons I made sure our place had a pool house, actually.” She smiled wistfully. “So Ben wouldn’t have far to go.”

“What did he do?” I asked. “Or shouldn’t I ask?”

She shrugged. “He gets fixated on the music and needs a reminder about priorities occasionally. Work is great. But family and a healthy relationship is important. So yeah… I tend to kick him out about once a year just to make sure everything’s going smoothly. Give us a chance to air grievances and clear up misunderstandings. We whisper yell at each other so Gibby doesn’t hear. Then Ben spends a night in the pool house. Or about half a night. He usually creeps in around two or three in the morning to grovel and have make-up sex.”

My eyebrows felt about halfway up my forehead. “Wow.”

“Everyone’s relationship works differently.”

There came another knock at the door, and I rushed to open it. Anne and Lena stood there loaded down with takeout and bottles of wine.

“Oh, that smell.” I breathed deep with relish. “I know that smell. I love that smell.”

“We got Chinese,” said Anne. “I hope that was the right call.”

And I didn’t burst into tears. One little bastard just happened to escape, is all. Hormones. It had been one of hell of a day. “Thank you. I love pizza, but I’ve eaten a lot of it lately. Chinese sounds wonderful.”

Lena smacked a kiss on my cheek. “C’mon, Evelyn. Don’t cry over takeout. We’ve got you. You’re all good, lady.”

I sniffled.

“I was just telling her about kicking out Ben,” said Lizzy.

Anne snorted. “Well…it works or you wouldn’t do it. I tried to kick Mal out once and he staged a sit-in. He had a protest banner saying love me and everything.”