More Than Hate You (More Than Words)

February 10

Las Vegas

Sebastian

“Well, that was a nice wedding,” my boss and best friend, Evan Cook, says as he rattles the ice cubes in his glass of scotch before knocking back the liquid.

“If by nice you mean quick, yep. Best kind of wedding, in my opinion.”

Evan laughs. “I can always count on you to be even less sentimental than me. Thanks for making me look good by comparison.”

I grin. “What are friends for? Besides, I’m just being honest.”

Evan searches the luxurious rooftop deck for his wife. When he spots Nia, he relaxes, giving her a tip of his chin and a smile. Love is all over his usually detached face. Standing among the bridal party, she responds with a happy wave, her long, dark hair caressing her bare, umber-hued shoulders. She doesn’t look pregnant yet, but she absolutely glows—and not strictly with hormones. She’s happy as hell with my buddy, and I’m thrilled for them. He deserves bliss after the disaster of his first marriage.

Especially since, if things had turned out differently, I could have caused its end.

Evan tosses back the last of his drink. “You didn’t have to come with Nia and me to see her half brother get married, you know.”

He’s right. When I first met Stephen, I thought he was a raving douche. But the groom is important to Nia, who’s important to Evan. And I have a lot to make up for. We both know it.

“It’s no problem.”

“Bullshit. It’s a long flight from Maui, and you have a full plate.”

“But hey, it’s Vegas. Not exactly a hardship.” I take a long pull of my beer and hope he’ll drop the subject.

“I guess I spoke too soon. So much for you being honest.”

I pause, the longneck freezing inches from my lips. “What do you mean?”

“You didn’t come with Nia and me to this wedding because you wanted to visit Sin City. You didn’t do it for any business reason, either, so don’t try that line.” He sighs. “Look, I know you still feel guilty about Becca—”

“Man, I don’t want to talk about this.”

From the minute we met in college, Evan was the best friend I could have asked for. He had a great idea for data storage solutions for businesses of all sizes, along with the technical know-how and the minimal capital required to get started. What he lacked was working knowledge about actually starting and running a company, especially its financials. Allocations, budgets, taxes, and employee compensation all overwhelmed him. So I stepped in. Over the next decade, Evan and I grew Stratus Storage Solutions together, from a vague notion to a firm worth over a billion dollars.

Everything was perfect—except I fell in love with his wife.

“We never talk about it,” Evan points out. “Nia constantly tells me it’s not healthy to hide my feelings. That’s true for you, too.”

Probably so, but… “What do you want me to say? I’ll apologize again. I’m sorry. More fucking sorry than you’ll ever know. I swear I never touched Becca. I had no idea she was planning to divorce you.”

For me.

I don’t say that aloud, but we both know she was in love with me, too. We found that out after she died, but Evan doesn’t need salt in whatever wound he might still have.

Or maybe I’m the only one who hurts anymore. After all, Evan is really damn happy these days.

“You don’t have to keep reassuring me. I know you. In fact, I should probably say something this time. Falling for Nia taught me that you can’t control who you love. If you could have changed how you felt about Becca, you would have.”

“I fucking tried.” And the fact I couldn’t, that my brother from another mother nearly lost everything he worked for his whole adult life because I couldn’t resist giving my heart to his late wife, still eats at me.

“I know. I’m not blaming you. I’m trying to absolve you. Hell, I had no business falling for Nia. I’d only lost Becca six months earlier. I felt numb. And don’t get me started on how cliché it was of me to nail my assistant.”

Or how much Evan’s impulsive decision had risked dragging Stratus into a nasty sexual harassment suit, but that’s not the point of this conversation. Everything worked out for him and Nia.

“Look, I appreciate you trying to make me feel better—”