More Than Hate You (More Than Words)

The rest of the executive management team is already assembled when I enter. Of course, they’re doing damage control, now that the knowledge that Wynam chose Reservoir has undoubtedly gone public. Evan and the other suits are looking for their next opportunity and deciding how to spin this turn of events. As CFO, I would normally be involved in determining how much of our resources we can throw at each opportunity and budget for everything from tech upgrades to ad spend. I’ll bet Evan sent me emails over the weekend to keep me up to speed while I was in my drunken stupor. It’s wholly unlike me…but I haven’t read a single one.

Evan looks up as I approach the conference table. Something on my face must signal that I’ve got heavy things on my mind, because he turns to address the rest of the executives. “Take ten, everyone. Shaw and I need to confer before we continue.”

Several nod and send me sideways glances full of curiosity before they leave. Not shocking. After the weekend I’ve had, I’m sure I look like hell. Some of the others I’ve played sports or shared a gym with clap me on the back with expressions closer to concern before they head out the door. They know I got married eight short days ago. They probably wouldn’t be shocked to know it’s already over.

I’ve had days of dealing with the heartache hollowing out my chest, but I didn’t anticipate the humiliation of my co-workers’ pity. It sucks.

But I’ve earned it.

“Hey, Bas,” Evan says cautiously. “I’d ask if you’re feeling better, but…”

“No.” I feel like shit. I’ve barely slept in days. Passing out doesn’t count. “But I need to talk to you.”

“Are you all right? I’ve been worried. So has Nia. I guessed when I came to see you on Friday that things with Sloan had gone sideways.”

Gross understatement. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry. I figured you’d be upset, between that and this weekend being the first anniversary of Becca’s death. But I didn’t expect to find you already shit-faced.”

Holy shit, Becca died a year ago. That fact never crossed my mind all weekend.

Any worries I’ve had about lingering feelings for Evan’s first wife… I can put them to rest now. I’m relieved that, not only doesn’t Becca have a death grip on any corner of my heart, I’m not sure she ever did.

But I’m not the only one who lost her that day.

“Are you okay?” I ask Evan.

Slowly, he nods. “It was a lot to take in, the fact it had been a year since my life imploded. But I’m in a much better place now, a lot happier than I’ve ever been. The notion that things happen for a reason? I’m starting to think that’s true.”

Maybe Evan is right, and the reason Sloan left me was so I could finally learn how to love without putting myself first. “If that’s true, then why did Wynam fall through our hands?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. But we’ll recover, and we’ll figure that out. We’re already strategizing alternate ways to grow, so I’d love your input. And I get to keep my hundred million dollars, so that’s a bonus. You can tell me how better to direct the funds now that they’re liquid. Might as well put them to good use, right?”

That’s the perfect opening to say what I came to.

My gut tightens as I withdraw the typed note from my suit pocket, then put it in my best friend’s hand. “This is my resignation, effective immediately.”

“What?” Evan rips the note open and scans it before tossing it onto the table and gaping at me. “Why?”

How do I explain this in a way my best friend and former boss will understand? “I need to do this for Sloan.”

“I don’t understand.”

After everything Evan and I have been through together, I owe him an explanation. “She thinks I only married her to seal Stratus’s position with Reservoir. But I’m in love with her.”

“I suspected as much on your wedding day. So did Nia. That’s why she tried to talk to Sloan when we stopped on the way to the airport, to gauge her feelings—”

Sighing, I hold up a hand. “I’m not blaming Nia. And I’m not quitting because I’m pissed at either of you. I’m not even resigning because I fucked everything up…though I did.”

“Bas, you gave this assignment your all—and then some.”

Since Evan knows that, maybe he’ll understand what I have to say next. “But I gave my all to the wrong cause.”

Evan frowns. “Meaning?”

“Sloan has one dream: to be the heart of Reservoir. I tried to take that from her. All her life, she’s been someone’s plan B. Their second choice. A pawn. Her father used her brilliance, ambition, and loyalty to improve Reservoir without giving her anything in return but a paycheck. Even her first boyfriend used her for a good time, despite having another girlfriend all along. Over and over, she’s given herself to people who haven’t given a shit about her feelings. I have to put her first, and I need to respect her dream. I can’t do that if I’m her competitor.”

“Okay, but…you’re putting me in a bind. You know that, right? Your shoes are impossible to fill.”