More Than Hate You (More Than Words)

“That’s the woman you told me about, the one you once loved?”

“I thought so, yes. I didn’t mention her by name or explain more, but…that’s her.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“It was rough at first. After she’d been gone a few months, Evan was cleaning out Becca’s desk at home and found her journal. Apparently, she was in love with me. I never knew.”

“Hearing that must have been horrible.”

At the time, yes. Now I know it was for the best. “I’m convinced that, knowing what I know now about love, knowing what you’ve taught me about the kind of woman I need in my life, Becca and I would have made each other miserable. I’m not in love with her. For months now, I’ve suspected that I never was. And whatever feelings for her I worried might still be lingering? They’re gone, thanks to you. I might have been terrible at showing you that I love you, but I do. And I always will.”

Wondering if that’s the last time I’ll ever hear my wife’s voice, I force myself to man up, end the call…and let her go for good.

May 1

Sloan

After Sebastian’s call, I can’t sleep that night. Did I make the right choice in walking away?

The next morning, I still don’t know.

When he and I first bonded over the phone, he was sharp and interesting. Intriguing. When I figured out he wasn’t my consultant but my competitor who was intentionally pulling on my heartstrings to play me, there’s no other way to put it. I. Was. Pissed.

So I decided to get even.

I planned every detail of that night in his hotel room—the sexy dress, the come-on, the seduction—and the epic way I put him in his place.

One thing I didn’t count on? Being so attracted to him that I ached for him to undress me. Touch me. Make me feel alive. And I certainly didn’t plan on wanting him beyond that night.

But I did.

That’s the real reason I blackmailed him into coming back to Dallas. True, Reservoir was in a dire financial situation, and Bruce Rawson temporarily authorized me to “fix” it after a candid and heated confrontation. Once I had Sebastian in the rented conference room, I thought I had him where I wanted him, squirming in his seat and under my nose. I was convinced he would lose his luster then, and I’d stop feeling the sparks.

That never happened.

Worse, I knew Sebastian would fight back—but I never saw his proposal coming.

Oh, I felt furious and threatened…at first. But Evan, Nia, and the rest of his friends in Maui were all so welcoming and kind. For the girl who’d never had much family, I enjoyed the people Sebastian had chosen to occupy his inner circle. When we were with them, I saw a different side of the man who I suddenly called husband—a happier, less calculating side. A warm, giving side. One I was irresistibly drawn to.

But after the ceremony, shit got real.

First, Bas rescued me from my father, who had crashed the wedding to make ridiculous demands that I save Reservoir from falling into Stratus’s hands. Next, he spent all day and night making me feel not just sexy but adored. Important. Worshipped.

The minute he told me he loved me, I realized my heart was in danger. I was falling in love, too.

It fucking terrified me.

Nia telling me that Sebastian’s heart belonged to another woman the day we flew back to Dallas? Just the jolt I needed to start thinking with my head again. And I was perfectly happy with my decision to break things off with Bas and plot my future solo…until he called and explained Becca.

Despite all his charisma and crafty acumen, I’m not surprised he wanted to help a woman who had been hurt and abused. I admire him for it, just like I commend his decision to stay friends with the very man who separated him from Becca. I respect the hell out of him for having the scruples never to touch her, either. His unflagging loyalty to Evan—no matter what it cost him—endears me.

But it’s also one of the things keeping us apart now.

The thought of never seeing Sebastian Shaw again nearly crushes me.

Some foolish part of me hopes I conceived that wild night on my sofa last week. That would make my decision about how to handle my husband easier. I’d have to see Bas every so often for the sake of our child, right?

But that’s the coward’s way out. I need to be deliberate. I need to make a fucking conscious choice. Am I going to call an attorney to continue divorce proceedings? Or am I just going to reach out to Sebastian and ask him if we can start over?