Bending over, I grabbed the bottle awkwardly, while still keeping one finger in his ass.
I squirted some on my finger, then fucked him with it. Jesus, he was hot and tight. Ryder pushed back as a second digit joined the first.
“I don’t need that. Fuck me, Hutch, before you’re the one ass up. Christ, I never needed anything as bad as I need you right now.”
The plea in his voice almost stopped me. It was a reminder of why we shouldn’t be doing this—and that it might be the only time. Without taking my eyes off him, I leaned down and kissed his shoulder. Ryder closed his eyes, and I knew he was feeling everything I was.
I slicked up my cock. It wasn’t until I was at his rim that reality came crashing down. “Shit. Condom. You don’t happen to have one of those under the couch, do you?”
The look in his eyes told me he didn’t. “I was just tested a few weeks ago. I haven’t been with anyone for a while now. I’m negative and on PrEP.”
“I’m tested like clockwork. I’m negative and on PrEP too. I’ve never…” I’d never fucked raw before, but I wanted it with him, wanted to know my load was inside him.
The intensity in his gaze seared into me—want and a little sadness too, because…not because he couldn’t say the same, that he’d never fucked without a rubber, but because the person he’d done it with was the whole reason we shouldn’t be doing this.
“Don’t let me lose you because of that. Stay with me, Hutch. It’s just us…just me and you here. No one has ever been inside me bare. I want it to be you.”
A possessive fire raged inside me, this need to stake my claim…on someone who wasn’t really mine…but it felt like he was, inside, like there was always a space carved out for him there.
I held the base of my cock, pushed in, felt his hole stretch around me. I trembled the whole time, losing myself in the hot glove of his body squeezing around my erection. There was nothing like it, the grip of him, working past the first ring of muscles, knowing soon I’d empty my balls inside him, the only man I’d ever done that with.
When my groin met his ass, my rod buried to the hilt, I kissed his shoulder again, licked the sweat off, couldn’t move.
“Jesus, Hutch.”
“I haven’t done anything yet.”
“Yeah, but it’s you…just knowing it’s you…”
He didn’t say more. He didn’t have to. “I can’t wait to fill you up, to know my cum is in your ass and no one has been inside you that way before,” I said close to his ear before nipping at his lobe.
“You wanna mark me all up inside? Make it so everyone knows I’m yours? Because I am, Hutch. Maybe I shouldn’t be, but I am.”
Christ, that almost made me lose it right then and there. I couldn’t speak, didn’t have the words, so I didn’t even try. I just eased out some, then thrust into him again. We fucked slow like that for a moment, chest against back, my mouth on his ear, his neck, his shoulder, while I savored his body in long, unhurried, deep pumps of my hips.
All it did was amp up my need for him, until I couldn’t keep it contained any longer. I fucked into him hard and fast, our bodies slapping together. My arms went around him, palms on the tops of his hands, which Ryder kept on the arm of the couch. I laced our fingers together, squeezing him as I tried to show him with my body how much he meant to me, that I was his too, even though I didn’t know how we’d ever truly make it happen, what it would do to my family and my sister if I told them how I felt about him.
The thought only made me slam into him harder, as if that would give me clarity, as if taking our circumstances out on his body would make any difference.
“Jesus, Hutch. Right there. Right fucking there. You feel so goddamned good.”
His right hand let go of mine, and he went for his cock. I swatted it away as Ryder pushed back against me, fucking himself on my cock. I wrapped a hand around him, stroked him as I pulled back some, just enough to look down and see his hole stretched out around me, watching myself disappear inside his body, then slide out again as he took over, his ass riding me as I took him. I stared.
My hand slid down, cupped his heavy balls, then went back to his dick. Ryder grabbed it, licked my palm, before his hot length was in my grip again.
Then it was me pumping my hips again when I couldn’t help but take over, jackhammering into his body. Ryder cried out. His hole spasmed around my cock as his load spurted all over my hand, which I used to keep jerking him. Ryder shot again, and when his ass clamped around my dick, I couldn’t hold back. My thighs trembled and my body tensed as I pressed my forehead to his shoulders, my release shooting up from my balls and finding its home inside him.