Off Limits (Secrets Kept 1)

Ryder came over and turned it so I faced him and he could stand between my legs. “He’ll tell you when he’s ready. He needed someone last night, and he chose to call you. That tells you how much he trusts you. You’re always there for everyone, Hutch. People sense your caring nature. It’s really beautiful.”

“Gag. You’re so mushy.”

Ryder rolled his eyes. “I think you might have forgotten you’re thirty-two. Also, someone has to tell you how incredible you are, so it might as well be me… At least then I can count on you to return the favor. I never get tired of hearing how great I am.”

We laughed. I grabbed Ryder’s hips, slipped my thumb beneath his shirt, and stroked his skin. Desire ignited in his eyes, and he leaned down, taking my mouth with his. I shoved my hands fully under his tee, ran them up and down his sides while Ryder pushed his tongue past my lips. He held my face in his hands, the rough pads of his fingers casting a spell over me, and I deepened the kiss, ready for another round of the night before.

“Hutch, your door—oh my God. I…”

We jerked apart at the sound of Maddy’s voice, Ryder stumbling backward. She stood in the entryway, staring at us. At her brother, who’d been kissing her ex-husband. Dread pooled in my gut, an ache filling my chest and stealing my breath. I opened my mouth, but words wouldn’t come out. What could I even say? It was bad enough that this had happened, but for her to find out before I had the balls to tell her…

“Hutch?” she asked, sadness softening her already gentle voice.

“We didn’t mean for it to happen,” Ryder said when I didn’t break the silence.

“Oh, so the two of you were keeping this from me by accident?” Her voice rose, lit up by anger and hurt.

I rubbed over my heart, trying to work out the tightness there. “That’s not what he meant.”

“It sure as shit seems to be what’s happening.”

“We didn’t know who the other was when we first started talking. We met on an app and just…hit it off. We hadn’t exchanged names. I didn’t know Ryder’s a mechanic now. I’d lied about which hospital I worked at. We were talking every day and…”

The truth of who he was hit her then, making her eyes widen. “The guy… You told me you’d met someone, and I told you to go for it. I told you to promise me you would, but…why didn’t you tell me it was him, Hutch? You lied to me. Don’t you think I should have known who we were talking about?” Where others would yell or curse, Maddy didn’t. She was nothing but pain, and that made it worse. She closed the door, sagged against it.

“I didn’t know it was Ryder when I told you about him.”

“But at some point you found out! Clearly, you both did, and what about then? How long has this been going on? That was months ago that we spoke! Am I just a joke to you both? Sweet, innocent Maddy won’t care if we go behind her back. She’ll forgive us if we lie to her. We’ll just screw around in secret until we get tired of each other and—oh God…did you ever?”

“No. Hell no. We would’ve never done something when the two of you were together. I can’t believe you’d think that.” The thought sliced through me, intensified the anguish inside me.

“What am I supposed to think? You’ve been lying to me! Going behind my back and—”

“I’m in love with him, Mads,” Ryder said, cutting her off. “I’m in love with him.”

The expression on her face changed to devastation then, like maybe it would have been okay if it was just sex, but in falling for each other, we’d hurt her beyond repair. “You’re in love?” she asked softly.

“We didn’t plan it, Maddy. Hell, I think I fell half in love with him before I even knew who he was. I know that doesn’t make sense, but it’s true. I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. This has been killing me.” I took a step closer, but she held up a shaking hand to stop me and turned to Ryder.

“You’re in love with my brother in a way you could never love me…”

“Not because there’s anything wrong with you,” Ryder replied. “I’m gay, Mads. You know that.”

She breathed in a broken, grieving breath. “But why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be Hutch?” She looked at me next, her shattered heart in her eyes. “Why did it have to be Ryder? You are the two people I love most in the world. Do you know what it’s like to be torn between feeling betrayed and wanting nothing more than your happiness—my brother who always had my back and the only boy to make me feel normal as a child? I was in love with you, Ryder. I planned to spend my life with you, adopt babies with you. While I’m past that, while I don’t love you that way anymore, it’s hard not to look at you and see the future that will never be, and now…” She swiped at the tears on her face. “And now my brother is going to have that with you? I’ll have to look at the two of you together, living the life Ryder promised me?”