Off Limits (Secrets Kept 1)

“I love you, sweetheart.” Mom hugged and kissed me.

“It’ll work out. Grant won’t walk away from his son. He really does love Hutch, and in his way, he thinks he’s showing it by wanting what he considers the best for him,” Dad added before saying his goodbye as well.

Kinsley squeezed me extra tight. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“I couldn’t.”

“I know.”

I walked with them to the door, shut it behind them, then dropped my head against it. I didn’t know what to say to Hutch, how to make this better. His whole family had basically walked out on him today. It didn’t matter if Mads and Nora went about it in a different way than Grant had. But the last thing I wanted was for him to be alone.

Meow.

I looked over to see Raphael clearly judging me, telling me to get my ass in there with Hutch and that this was all my fault.

“You love him. You just don’t like to show it,” I told the cat. I went to Hutch’s room and knocked softly before opening the door. “Can I come in? It’s okay if you need some space.”

“You can come in.” He was sitting on the bed, with his head down. I knelt between his legs, hooked my finger under his chin, and tilted his head so he looked at me.

“I’m so sorry, baby.”

“The sad part is, I’m not surprised. I didn’t expect anything different.”

I hadn’t either, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. “What can I do?”

“Just don’t go,” Hutch replied. “Just please, don’t go.”

“I won’t. The only way you’re getting rid of me is if you force me away, and even then, I’ll probably stalk you. I’ll hide under your bed and in your closet—hopefully security won’t kick me out at the hospital.” He smiled. “I love you, Hutch. You’re mine. I refuse to lose you.”

I cupped his cheeks, tugged his face to mine, kissed his salt-infused lips, evidence of the tears left behind.

We spent the rest of the day in bed together, sometimes just holding each other, other times kissing and touching before he was buried inside me. We only left the bed for food, water, and the bathroom. Hutch tried to smile, tried to pretend he was okay, but I knew he wasn’t.

21

Hutch

My family and I had never been the type to talk every day. Maddy and I spoke the most, usually every few days or so. Still, it had been less than a week, and I missed them. It was strange how on the surface, nothing had changed. I went to work and did my own thing without contact with them, like I normally would have, yet I knew that my dad wanted nothing to do with me, that Mom would try to change his mind but ultimately would not push it so as not to cause more strain. No one could talk my dad into something he didn’t want to do.

That Maddy needed time away from me because I’d betrayed her, and that Maddy’s Fight was coming up and it would be the first year I wasn’t involved. Technically, Maddy hadn’t done anything wrong. She was hurt and sad and told us she loved us and to be together. She needed to sort things out in her head. Who could expect anything more? But…I felt hollow, like I was going through the motions with a piece of me missing.

It was Monday today, and I was at the hospital with Layla. Ryder was with Luke on the other side of the room. Layla and Luke were between treatments now, but they came in to spend time with us.

“Your hair looks fabulous. Did you dye it?” Layla had her Barbie say to mine.

“Oh, yes. I just got it done,” I replied in a high-pitched voice.

I couldn’t help looking over and watching Ryder. He was playing a game with Luke and another boy, and clearly something funny was going on because Ryder was laughing. My chest tightened at the sound, and I couldn’t help smiling. He made me do that so easily. For a moment, I forgot what had happened, but then it came crashing down again, bursting through my momentary happiness.

“Hutch?” Layla said.

I turned back to her. “Hmm?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

She gave me a look that said she knew I was full of shit. “You’re not supposed to lie…but you’re really not supposed to lie to your best friend.”

Christ, I adored her. “You’re right. I’m a little sad.”

“Did you and Ryder break up?”

“You know me and Ryder are together?”

“I’m seven, not an idiot.”

I laughed. “No, we didn’t break up. It’s just…complicated adult stuff.”

“So’s cancer, but I have to deal with that.”

Damn. She was right, and it broke my heart. “My family aren’t happy with me because I’m with Ryder. I hurt my sister very much by falling in love with him, and…well, it’s hard because I do love him, but I don’t want to hurt her. I can’t have it both ways, though. Being with him will hurt her.”