Off Limits (Secrets Kept 1)

“You always turn me on, but…” He sighed. “You don’t have to pretend you’re okay when you’re not, Hutch. Not with me.”

“But don’t you know I’m always okay?”

“You’ve spent your life trying to be, telling yourself you were because that’s what you had to do—take the back seat because Mads required more attention than you. She was sick, and because of that, you made yourself less important. You’re important too, Hutch.”

I closed my eyes, tried to breathe past the lump in my throat. Ryder got me, understood me down to the marrow of my bones, better than anyone ever had, maybe even myself. “Hearing you say it makes me believe it.”

“Good. You should.”

I leaned in, brushed my lips against his ear. “You just earned yourself a blowjob when we get home.”

Ryder chuckled. “Yes! My plan worked!”

“I knew there was an ulterior motive.”

“A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.” He kissed my temple and grabbed my hand. “We’re skipping coffee today. I’m ready to cash in my prize.”

And just like playing music with him had a few minutes before, Ryder made me feel better.

22

Ryder

My parents invited us out for dinner. I didn’t know if it was the best idea or not. Another week had gone by, and Hutch hadn’t heard from either Mads or his dad. He and his mom had talked twice—once on the phone, and then they’d had lunch together. She promised things would be okay, that she was working on Grant, and honestly, that just pissed me off. Grant didn’t have the right to treat people the way he did. He got away with it over and over again. Yes, Hutch had fallen in love with me when maybe he shouldn’t have, but that didn’t mean he deserved to lose his family over it.

Hutch didn’t seem angry about it, just sad, so he was probably a better person than I was.

But I was worried that being around my family might be a reminder of what he was missing. I’d approached it tentatively with him, but he’d agreed readily, telling me it was fine and that it would be nice to get to know my parents again.

We’d been staying mostly at his place lately. It made sense not to go back and forth, and Hutch seemed to need to be in his space, so I wanted him to have that. He was playing the piano almost daily, which was such a change for him.

I was sitting on the couch, looking at my phone, when I heard him come down the hallway. I looked up at him. “You ready?” He was sexy as hell in a pair of slacks and a short-sleeved button-up. While I wore something similar, I kept my shirt untucked for a slightly more relaxed and comfortable look.

“Yeah.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Hutch was sadder than he was letting on, and it broke my heart.

I stood up, went to him, and pressed a slow kiss to his lips. “I love you.” I wanted to tell him all the time so he didn’t forget it, so he didn’t feel less loveable with everything going on.

I wanted to be worth it for him.

“I love you too. You’ve been very mushy lately.”

“What can I say? I’m a shmoopy guy.”

We took a car service to an upscale Italian restaurant my parents loved. I wished they’d invited us home instead of out, but maybe it would actually be a good thing. Hutch and I hadn’t done much since the night we went out with Isaac.

It just so happened that my parents and Kinsley pulled up at the same time we did.

“Hey,” I said, giving them each a hug, starting with my sister.

“Hey, Hutch. How’s it going?” Kinsley said, embracing him as well.

“Good to see you again,” he replied.

She gave him a sad smile, as if she could tell Hutch wasn’t quite himself.

“I love it here!” Mom said, a little too perky, clearly trying to keep the mood upbeat and pretend we were at a cheer competition or something.

“We could never tell,” Kins replied, and we all laughed.

“You be nice,” Mom told her.

“How about we go in?” Dad said.

I nodded, and the group of us went for the door. Dad approached the hostess first and told her we had a reservation for Lynwood. It wasn’t until we were shown to our table and Hutch was looking across the room, his jaw tight, that I realized tonight was the wrong night for Italian food.

Grant, Nora, and Mads were there together, laughing at something, not having noticed yet that we were all at the same restaurant. My body immediately tensed up, my pulse quickening as a wave of sorrow wrapped up in anger washed through me. “We can go somewhere else,” I said.

Those words seemed to catch my family’s attention. They looked up and saw what we did, Kinsley saying a soft, “Shit.”