Meow. Raph rubbed against my leg. I looked down at him, and he stared up at me in obvious disapproval.
“He’s not right about me,” I said to the cat, then groaned. I was trying to prove myself to an animal. I’d officially lost my mind.
26
Ryder
“I can’t believe you’re taking me as your plus-one to Maddy’s Fight. I’ve heard a lot about it. Like, rich people go, and some famous people too!” Luke was nearly jumping out of his skin, he was so excited, and it felt…hell, it felt pretty damn incredible. I loved seeing him so happy, loved being part of the reason he was. It helped dull the constant ache I’d had in my chest since walking out of Hutch’s condo the day before. I missed him. It hadn’t even been a full twenty-four hours, and I missed him. I didn’t want him to be alone today. And also, I worried he was right.
“Hello? Earth to Ryder…paging Ryder Lynwood. Is anyone home?” Luke said from the passenger seat of my car. I’d taken him to get a tux to wear tonight, and now we were on our way back to his house. We’d done the best we could last minute and managed to find one that fit him. We were lucky that he was even able to go. If he hadn’t been off-cycle, he wouldn’t have, and we still needed to be careful. With his weakened immune system, the last thing we wanted was for him to get sick. I’d spoken to his mom before asking him. She knew how much he’d want to go, and that made her want it for him.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to space off. I have a lot going on.”
“Does it have to do with Hutch?”
I glanced his way, frowning. “What makes you think that?”
Luke shrugged. “I don’t know. He just seemed sadder lately. And the way you watch him, it’s like you’re both hurting.”
Well, shit. He was more observant than I’d realized. Somehow it didn’t surprise me, though. Luckily, we were close to his house, so I pulled up on the side of the street and put the car in Park so we could continue our conversation face-to-face.
“It’s hard to explain, really. A lot of it is personal.”
“Are you talking about how you used to be married to his sister?” My eyes widened, and my mouth dropped open, making Luke laugh. “Oh my God. If you could see your face right now. It’s freaking hilarious!” He clutched his stomach, the giggling not ebbing.
“Okay, I don’t think my face is that funny.”
“That’s because you didn’t see it. And it’s pretty obvious to anyone who takes the time to look. Hutch mentioned his sister, Maddy, in passing—more to Layla than me, but I pay attention to things. And when you first started coming, I asked if you were married, remember? And then, I don’t remember how, but at some point you mentioned your ex-wife’s name is Madison. Hutch told Layla things are difficult and that he hurt his sister, so I figured…” He was silent for a moment, picking at his jeans, as if trying to work up the nerve to say something. I waited, giving him time. He deserved it after his detective work. “You guys never like…cheated or anything, did you?”
“No.” I shook my head. “No way. I would never do that. Our families were close. Mads was my best friend. I loved her, I still do, and somehow, before I came to terms with being gay, I mixed that up in my head and thought I was in love with her. When I realized I wasn’t, we got divorced. That was five years ago. Hutch and I started talking, and it just happened. I know that’s not a good excuse, but we didn’t set out to hurt anyone, and…I love him.” It felt weird talking to a sixteen-year-old about this. I was careful about what I said, not wanting to go into too much detail.
“Good. My mom…after my dad died, she only dated one other guy, and he cheated on her. It broke her heart. I didn’t think you would ever do something like that, but I had to ask. When I fall in love with a girl or a guy one day, I’d never hurt them that way.”
“I know. You’re a good man, Luke—the best.”
He looked at me and grinned. “Thank you. It makes me sad sometimes, ya know? Dad dying… Mom was so depressed for so long afterward, and then when she trusted someone again, that happened. Now I’m sick. I don’t want her to be alone. If something ever happens to me—”
“No. It won’t, do you hear me?” I touched his shoulder. “You’re getting better. You’re going to be fine. Nothing will happen to you.”
“Maybe not now, but it could later. Lots of people get cancer more than once. I just…I’d feel better knowing she’s okay. Will you take care of her if it does? I don’t want her to spend her life alone.”