“So are you,” she replied. “You’re beautiful together, Ryder. This has been… Hell, I don’t know what to call it. A learning experience? None of us made all the right decisions, but I think we’re all where we’re supposed to be.”
“Thank you. I want you to be happy.”
“I am, and I’m working on being even happier. There’s a whole world out there. It’s my turn to take a page out of your book and explore some of it.”
“Yeah?”
“Shh. Only Hutch knows. I have a few more pieces to put into place, and to talk to my parents, of course, but yes.”
“Come here,” I said, pulling her into a hug. “I love you.”
“I love you too…and just so you know, you’re still my best friend. I’m holding you to that. We might have taken a five-year break, but that doesn’t change how I feel.”
“Me neither,” I replied.
She kissed my cheek, pulled back, and walked away.
“Is everything okay?” Hutch asked when he approached.
“Yeah, it is now.”
We walked out together. He had to take Layla home, and I had to do the same with Luke.
“Do you want to meet at my place? Raphael misses you,” Hutch said.
“Because it’s been so long since he’s seen me?” I teased.
“Feels like forever.”
Jesus, this man. He wrecked me. “I’ll be there.”
When Luke and I got in the car, he said, “Dude, you guys are sooooo in love.”
“Are you making fun of me?”
“Just stating the obvious.”
“Brat.”
We chatted easily on the drive home, and before I knew it, I was back at the condos and at Hutch’s door. I went inside. Hutch was sitting on the couch, with Raph a cushion away. He’d removed his tux jacket and bow tie, his white button-up open. He looked up, and my gaze caught on his.
“A woman brought her sister to the ED today with chest pain. She was young, but it turns out she did have a major heart attack.”
“Shit, baby. I’m so sorry.” I tugged off my jacket and loosened my tie as I walked over to him. Raph looked up at me and meowed before jumping down and giving me a dirty look, clearly not happy that he had to move for me. I sat down.
“She survived. We got her taken care of in time. When I got off, I went to check on her in the ICU. Her sister, Bianca, was there, and she just…started talking to me. Telling me about their upbringing and relationship. Some of what she said hit home, reminding me of Maddy and me. They’d fought this morning, and she said she’d been so scared her sister would die. It just…brought home how damn short life is, ya know? How people we love can be taken away from us in an instant. Every day we have choices, big and small. We don’t ever know what the outcome will be, even when we think we do. It’s so easy to have regrets, to think we have time, and the truth is, we never know. All we can do is live in the moment, love each other, and hold on to our happiness with both hands. I’m tired, Ry…tired of pretending everything is okay when it’s not. Tired of not letting people in. Tired of accepting behavior I don’t deserve.”
Hutch leaned back, rubbed a hand over his chest. I reached out, pulled it away, then bent forward and pressed my lips over his heart.
“I’m not perfect. I’ve made my mistakes. I need to trust Maddy when it comes to her own life, and…I need to trust you. I hate admitting it, and I might never say these words to you again, but you were right.”
I grinned. “Gasp! I can’t imagine how horrible that is for you.”
“Terrible. It’s the worst,” he joked back, before sobering again. “I wasn’t ready to believe you really loved me…that I wouldn’t lose you, so I ran. I’m still working on it. Things didn’t magically change after one conversation, but I can see it, acknowledge it, and I want to change it. That has to count for something, right?”
“Jesus, Hutch. You’re so goddamned incredible. That counts for everything. Come ’ere.” I pulled him to me, and he came easily, letting me wrap him up in my arms. He breathed into my neck, his hand clutching my shirt like he was afraid I’d disappear if he let go. “You crazy man. You can’t get rid of me. I’m not going anywhere. I love you, and I’m proud of you.”
“I love you too, and I’m going to hold you to that.”
“You can try, but you won’t need to.”
Hutch kissed my throat, brushed his lips against my skin before exploring me with his tongue. “You taste like sweat, and I love it.”
“You’re so fucking filthy. Do your patients know how dirty their doctor is?” I teased, and he chuckled.