Play Along

His hand goes to the back of my head and he kisses me deeply. It’s one of those goodbye kisses that I have come to hate so much.

“I have to do this,” he murmurs into my mouth.

“Why?” I scream as I pull out of his arms with renewed vigour. “So you can have the last word?”

“I’m not spending my life hiding from him.”

“Then we fight,” I yell. “One day he will come for me and when he does we will be ready. Don’t go into the dragon’s lair looking for death. It’s not needed, Stace. I only did that this morning to get you away from him. You are a danger to yourself.”

He shakes his head. “You stay here so I know you are safe.”

“No.”

He glares at me. “Yes.”

“I’m going to Europe and I’m going to forget all about my father.” I hesitate and shake my head as my eyes tear up. “I’m starting again and I’m going to forget ever meeting you.”

His eyes hold mine.

“I want a man to fall in love with me, one who wants to be in a happy family and isn’t hell bent on revenge for evils he can’t change.”

“I need to do this.”

“You can’t bring Justin back, Stace!” I yell through tears.

His eyes lose focus and drop to the floor.

“You can’t bring him back and he wouldn’t want you to do this. He would want you to move on,” I whisper through the lump in my throat. “Start again.”

He stays silent as he processes my words and eventually, after a long pause, he replies, “I can’t.”

I turn my back to him and fold my arms.

He puts his shoes on. “Stay here.”

I don’t answer him.

Moments later, I hear the door click closed and I turn.

He’s gone.

* * *

It’s 2am and I’m numb.

Stace is gone. He’s already dead. I’m grieving now.

I’m lying propped up in my bed with my Scotch and Coke in his honor, watching bad television.

We were so good together.

I’m furious with him, furious for him taking me, furious with his seduction, furious for letting myself fall for it.

All of it.

He had to go back.

What a crock of shit. If he cared for me, he wouldn’t have left.