Play Along

He shakes his head, and with renewed anger, opens his wallet and frantically flicks through it. He takes out a business card and tosses it at me. It hits me in the face and falls to the floor.

“When you pick it up, flush it down the toilet.” He growls. “I’m done with living my day as if it’s my last.”

He storms off. I stand and watch him disappear into the darkness down the busy street. I let out a deep, sad breath and my eyes fall to the card on the cement and I bend and pick it up.

Downtown City Jewellers

Engagement Ring Specialist

What? I frown. “What does this have to do with…?”

I close my eyes. Oh God. He took one diamond.

Just one.

“Stace,” I yell as I look up. I take off in the direction he walked in. I look around frantically through the busy street. I can’t see him.

“Stace,” I call through the people. “Stace!”

What have I done? I run to the end of the street as I frantically search for him. I look back to where I came from. I can’t believe I just…

With my heartbeat hammering fast, my face screws up in tears. Oh no, what I have I done?

“Stace,” I cry. I take out my phone and ring him, but it rings out, so I text him.

Talk to me.

What’s going on?

I call him again and no answer, damn it. Why do I always fuck things up? I bounce my legs up and down as I cry. I text again.

Stace, I’m sorry.

I don’t know how to trust people.

Please talk to me.

No answer.

For an hour I walk the streets in tears as I look for him, knowing I have no one to blame but myself.

I try to call him again and this time his phone is switched off.

I really did it this time. I pushed away the first guy who was actually worth keeping.

I sit on a seat in the busy street for half an hour as I try to figure out what to do. Finally, with a heavy heart, I head back to our room. I only hope that when he calms down he will come home, although the sinking feeling in my stomach is telling me he has gone for good.

Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I see the haunted look on my mother’s face as she bled out.

Sometimes, when it’s really still, I hear her cry.

I feel like tonight she’s crying in Heaven for the mess I have made of my life.

Mess is an understatement. This is a total disaster.

I have a heavy, sad feeling on my shoulders. It’s guilt and regret all rolled into one.

I retrace the last month of my life. The memory of my ex-boyfriend and best friend kissing in the nightclub makes my eyes tear up as the betrayal iron brands me once more. The murder I witnessed and how they consequently took me. Stace… I smile when I think of my beautiful Stace. He protected me from his crew when I was at my most vulnerable. Then the nightmare when I stupidly thought I could take out Vikinos. It all seemed so clear at the time, like nothing could go wrong, but it did.